Soldier Had to Watch Two of His Buddies Die

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I told you on Monday’s post that I would be sharing a chapter from my time at Ft. Bragg, and also an interview I had with a veteran, from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life. Here they are:

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Ft Bragg

Sitting on a Military Plane Ready to Fly to the Bay of Pigs

I know of some of the fears you face or have faced as a soldier. I have had my share of scary times while in uniform for my country.

I had put in three years of active duty, and was very near to my discharge date while at Ft. Bragg, North Carolina. As a matter of fact the discharge date was just days away.

It seemed like a normal day of “putting in your time,” but then there came a sound that I never want to hear again. It was the intercom in our section of the company I was stationed with saying, “This is an alert.” This is not a drill, all personnel report to headquarters for a briefing right away.”

I couldn’t think of why there would be any problems that serious happening, and still thought it was a drill as I ran towards the headquarters building.

When we all assembled, the commander went to the podium and spoke.

“I am here to inform you that all leaves and weekend passes are canceled. We have received a message from the commanding General of the Army to stand by for a possible mission to the Bay of Pigs. This is a very serious mission, which will put you in combat and in harm’s way. Our unit is being deployed, to help monitor the security of the communications while there. We will serve in the field headquarters of the mission. You have about two hours to pack your full field clothes and equipment. Dismissed!”

That was it. No more explanations or chances to ask questions.

I drove home quickly, packed all my gear in a duffel bag.

I got back to the headquarters, and it looked like pandemonium and chaos had sat in, with soldiers running everywhere.  

A few minutes later everyone had made it there and we were all in formation. The commander then told us to come to attention.

We all headed to buses that were waiting to take us to the military airport on base. When we got there, we unloaded and marched to the area of several planes. They had us board the planes with full gear and field uniforms on. The pilot came on to tell us that we will be in a combat area when we land at the Bay of Pigs.

I sat down in my area, and was holding my weapon (M-1 rifle) between my legs. I was numb with fear and anxiety. I had never thought I would actually be in a conflict where I could die.

The plane started its engines. The plane shook as the engines roared to get up to the speed they needed to get off the ground. It taxied to the runway and stopped.

Then we waited for the pilot to push the throttle. We sat there for what seemed like hours. I could see the fear, in the eyes in the soldiers around me. I was only about twenty years old then, and began to see my life unfold before me. I had thoughts of not coming back. I had thoughts of my loved ones I would never see again.

The plane was shaking from the vibrations of the motors. I said a prayer because it looked like we were going to take off. The plane was moving. However, it was not going down the runway. It was heading back to the area where we boarded.

The pilot came on the intercom and said that the mission had been aborted, and we were going back to our companies.

I felt such relief along with men and women around me who were yelling for joy. We were safe and heading back to our homes.

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I only shared this story because I know some of you have gone through the same thing. You also have been sent into combat, and faced the fear of not coming back. I was very lucky, but many of you actually left the ground in your plane, and headed into harm’s way.

Fear is something that is hard to control. Even the most-brave face it. We all have been there in some capacity.

It could be the doctor’s appointment that has information on your health. It also could be the times when you have to leave your loved ones for any mission. It may be the crises of your marriage when your spouse is tired of going through the pain of wondering if you will come back alive.

Did you know that Jesus faced fear? He even asked God to take away the fear by relieving Him of the cup of the responsibility God had placed on Him. He sweated blood during that prayer. God heard the prayer, but let Jesus go through the fear, pain and agony of going to the cross and dying for you and me. 

I am not making it sound like we shouldn’t be afraid. I know we are quite often. I am not saying you are a bad person if you are afraid of something. We all have our spots where we fear the unknown.

I think that is the key. It is the “unknown.” It’s not knowing what will happen next.

What I have learned from so many times of facing fear that 99% of what we fear never happens. We just need to give the other 01% over to God.

Is it that simple? I can honestly tell you that it is. God has big shoulders. He wants to take the burdens of our day away from us. We just need to depend on Him to keep His promises and know that He will never put us in a situation that we can’t handle with His help.

IWILL

Facing the unknown in life can be very hard. We aren’t built to take on such scary things at times. We just need to rely on God to see us through the dark clouds we face. He knows which way we need to go to avoid harm.

Think on this

Isn’t it interesting that having fear is what we really need to fear?   

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SGT Michael Thorin

U.S. Army

I had the honor to talk to Michael Thorin about his experiences. Like all interviews his had some horrific moments and some good times.

Michael was an acting platoon SGT for convoy security. He was attached to A Co. 31st FSB. Watched over convoys during transition.

SOH

What did you think of other soldiers you were with?

Michael

You think others deserve more praise.

SOH

What about the bad times you had?

Michael

I was in a reconnaissance leader, and we had a group of vehicles that protected the convoys. One day we were traveling in a group, and the vehicle ahead of us suddenly caught on fire. It was intense immediately. We all got out of our rigs and ran toward the vehicle, but it was too late. The men inside had already burned to death. There was nothing to do, but make sure everyone else was safe. They were very good men.

You never leave the bad times behind you. They are always with you. Your mind is always full of military times.

SOH

Let’s switch to your transition time. When did you get home and how did you feel when you got out?

Michael

I got home on September 11, 2006.

SOH

Let me interrupt you and share that was the same day as the 9-11 attack.

Michael

Yes, we all knew it, and it was very emotional.

SOH

What was it like coming through the terminals when you landed?

Michael

People were applauding and shaking our hands.

SOH

When you first got home with your family what was it like?

Michael

I didn’t think I was worthy of love and I struck back at my wife. Whatever I thought of her wasn’t true, but it takes time to sort things out.

SOH

That must have been depressing for you. How did you handle it?

Michael

Four times I had a gun pointing at my head. It wasn’t until I knew I needed help that I got help.

SOH

So, what did you do for a job once you got out?

Michael

I was a fire fighter. Best job I could have had. It related to military in some ways. The city treated me with great respect. They knew my aliments I had, and they did everything they could to help. I eventually had to leave the dept because the physicals were getting too hard for me. I left in 2014.

SOH

You have dealt with a lot of pain. What do you think of that? How have you made this far through all your pain and anguish.

Michael

It is a gift that keeps on giving.

SOH

You are now retired. What have you moved on to?

Michael

I reach out to other veterans as much as I can. I have a Thursday night conference call that has many veterans calling in for help. It is a faith-based conference call. Many of those calling in have PTSD, and TBI. They talk about their hardships and seek help.

SOH

You are also a national board member for the Victory for Veterans Foundation. Tell us about that, and why did you become a board member?

Michael

I can reach out and help my fellow veterans through the programs that VFV has.

SOH

How do you feel about how you have made it this far through all your pain and anguish?

Michael

I wouldn’t be able to make it if I wasn’t a Christian. I wake up every morning saying what’s next Lord.

Michael Thorn came home from Afghanistan with many hidden aliments and pain. The list that follows are some of the ailments that he received while on duty. He is very ill and needs double lung transplants. He labored through this interview.

He was coughing and wheezing towards the end. I asked him if he wanted to stop several times, and he insisted that we continue so he could help other veterans. 

He spends many hours in the emergency trying to stay alive. Here are his conformed ailments.

  • PTSD
  • TBI
  • IFP
  • Chronic backpain
  • Tracheobronomalacia (TBM)
  • Constrictive Bronchiolitis Syndrome
  • Pulmonary Hypertension
  • Hypertension
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  • Sleep Apnea
  • Insomnia
  • Dyputrins Contranctures
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Degenerative Bone Disease
  • Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
  • Psoriatic Arthritis
  • Chronic Nausea

In Michael’s profile he warns soldiers about not getting help soon enough. That was his mistake. He said learn about all your benefits, and how to start using them for assistance.

Michael spent two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

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This will be all the excerpts I will share with you at this time. If you want to see my first two excerpts they will be the post below this one.

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Checking in on you my friend. How are you doing.? I know it is hard to go through transition from the Military to civilian life. I have been there. How about your physical and mental health? Are you battling PTSD. TBI, depression, war wounds, etc?

You are not alone! There are close to 9,000 fellow veterans here on this site. They have your six!

If it is too overwhelming, get help like Michael Thorin pleaded for you to do. You are not a sissy if you get help. Many people may try to tell you that, but they are wrong. Here is a toll free number that is 24/7 to help you if you need it:

1-800-273-8255

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. You may be saving a life. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!


What is Life Like as a Sniper?

On Tuesday I wrote about one of my adventures while in the military. I will do that from time to time, but this site is for you. Today I will speak directly to you.

I assume many of you were deployed during your time in the military I was sent to South Korea. I had many adventures there which I will be sharing from time to time.

I came back a different person, like many of you, I am sure did too. I lost a buddy, and saw some things that will be hard to share. However, I will wait until later on.

Some of you may be battling PTSD, TMI, Depression, or war wounds. I feel your pain.

I would love it if you would share your story in the comment section. You do not need to share your name. Tell us your story so we can understand you more.

I have done many interviews of veterans for my book. I will share one of them with you knowing that there are many others that will be in the book.

A Sniper

I interview a veteran from Texas. I got to know him through RallyPoint. This is a social network for only veterans. I highly recommend it. You will find many fellow veterans who are the same boat with you.

The veteran from Texas was a sniper in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Here is the exchange:

I was honored to be able interview a veteran who was an Afghanistan/Iraq veteran.

Here is the rough draft for the book:

SOH

What did you do while you were in the Army?

William I was a sniper.

SOH

You are in El Paso. It can be very cold there.

William

Yes it can.

SOH

So, do you have family?

William

I am divorced, but I have three children.

SOH

When did you go into the service?

William

Right out of High school. I was seventeen.

SOH

You mentioned that you had a couple of buddies that were killed?

William

Actually, twelve of my buddies were killed.

SOH

How were you able to handle that?

William

You don’t allow yourself to think about it

SOH

Were you very close to any of them?

William

I was close to all of them.

SOH

I had close friends in Korea as well.

SOH

Why did you enlist in the first place?

William

It is a family tradition. My Brothers and my grandfather enlisted. I was honored to serve my country.

SOH

Interesting, I also had a family tradition. My three uncles served in WWII. My brother and I Served, and my son just retired as a Colonel from the Army.

SOH

If you could would you go back in again?

William

Oh ya!! I wouldn’t change anything. 22 years

SOH

If there was one thing you could change about the Army, what would that be?

William

I would spend more time with family. My job came first back then.

SOH

What would be your advice to soldiers who are struggling?

William

Don’t give up. If you are deployed, or getting ready to be deployed you don’t think about it. 

SOH

Do you have PTSD?

William

Yes, and because of this I recommend that it be mandatory to get counseling when you are discharged from the military.

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This is an on going interview. I want to get back to him and ask more specifc questions about being a sniper.

What does it feel like to kill someone?

What did you think of when you have an enemy in the cross hairs?

Did you ever regret shooting someone?

There will be many other questions. Stay tuned as I get more information.

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If you are struggling get help. It is not something to be ashamed of if you need help. Got to get the tough military guy/girl out of your head and find help.

*If you like what you are reading just go to the top of this page and click on subscribe. Wen you do you will get each future post directly to your inbox. Please let other veterans know about this site. It may help them as well.

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And…never, ever, give up!

A Sniper Shares His Hurts and Regrets

Today is Red Friday. We should all be wearing red to show support our active duty military.

I’ve had some amazing interviews with veterans while putting my new book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I interviewed WW ll, Korean, Vietnam Iraq, and Afghanistan soldiers.

Some of the interviews were funny; some were sad; and some were hard to listen to.

Today I will share one interview to show you some of the fear, disappointments and anger our veterans have gone through.

Interview with a Sniper

I talked to a veteran from El Paso, Texas. He was a Sargent First Class. His duties were being a sniper.

He was asked if it was hard to shot another person. His answer was, “Not since I was helping my buddies stay alive.”

Death of His Buddies

The next question I asked him was how many of his buddies were killed. He said,”Fifteen or sixteen.” I said, “That must have been hard on you.” He said, They were my friends, what can I say.”

It is Hard on Families

He was getting irritated, so I switched to his family. I asked him if he was married. He said, “I was, but I am divorced now.” I then asked, “Can you tell me why that happened? ” He said, “The separation was to hard on both of us. She went her own way because she was so lonely.” He also said he had three children that he only sees once and a while.

There is much more to this interview, but you can see that he had a very rough time while in the military.

Many other stories like this

I have many more interviews to share. Be sure to subscribe to make sure you do not miss one. Just go to the top and click on the subscribe icon. Then all further posts will go directly to your inbox.

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!