I was Considering suicide to Check Out of This Hotel Called Earth

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Had cataract surgery just one hour ago on my right eye. Typing with one eye for now. Lots of fun.

As a veteran, my heart breaks every time I hear about another brother or sister committing suicide. This happens 22 times everyday. Before I finish this post another one will die.

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Let me give you some back ground on my self:

I struggled often while I was deployed. I was a teenager, and missed home. I also had some buddies die, so I was on the edge, like many military personnel that are deployed.

I was in a bad situation for my mental health. When I got out and was married. Everything seem to mount up on me. I had trouble relating to my wife. I barked at family and friends.

I reached to bottom of my life on March 31st, 2001. That was the year when the Twin Towers were hit by planes. My father also died that year, and I was at my ropes end.

On April 1st (fool’s day) I couldn’t take anymore. I was in my Ford Explorer driving. I was sobbing , and it was hard to see the road. I pulled into a high school parking lot, and found the most hidden part. I was considering suicide.

I was sobbing so much that the windows were fogging up. I finally cried out to God, “I can’t take this anymore!” Then suddenly I got quiet. the windows started clearing up. There was a freshness inside my rig.

It was almost like God was saying, “It is about time you came back to me. Now let me carry you the rest of the Way.” I was stunned. I had forgotten about God, but He waited patiently for me.

I drove home and went into my office. in a drawer I saw some journals I had been writing for several years. I picked one up and started reading. I saw immediately that what I was writing was what I was going through right then.

I had wanted to write a book, but didn’t know it would be about. I kept reading more from my journals, and soon realize exactly what I should be writing about. I had been writing my hurts, and failures, but also how I overcame them. People who were hurting needed to read this book.

Each journal seemed to fit perfectly into a chapter. I kept going for almost another year to finish writing. When I did, I was out looking for a publisher. I was surprised when several were interested. It was hard to do that in this day and age.

I picked out my publisher and had the book printed.

The title of my first book is, Signs Of Hope: Ways to Survive in an unfriendly world.

That book went on to win a National Award from, The Reader’s Choice Awards. I was able to put Award winning Author on all of my books.

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Now, of course I am almost finished with my second book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I have told you in earlier posts that I have some powerful endorsements coming in for the book. I have a General. Several Colonels. A CEO for a nonprofit called Victory for Veterans. Several WWII veterans, and more.

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I encourage you to read some earlier posts. They are full of information about the book. Some endorsement are there as well.

I have a publisher interested, and I have already checked them out. I think we will be a great team. If I go with them this week, the book should be out on January.

Come back to see exactly when it will be published.

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My favorite times is now where I check to see how you are doing. You are a brother or sister to me, and I want what is best for you.

However, is there times when you feel like I did in 2001? Is the world spinning too fast? Too many burdens on your shoulders? You certainly are not alone my friend. There are over 9,770 fellow veterans on this site, and everyone of them have your back. But if it getting too overwhelming for you, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that is 24/7. There are Highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255 Option # 1

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never ever, give up!
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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

Troops Are coming Home From Iraq and Afghanistan Just in Time for the Holidays

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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I didn’t post Yesterday. My body ran out of gas. It is very hard for me to miss talking to you and a apologize for being so old and short on energy.

It has been a nerve ranking time in our country The pandemic, rioting, wildfires, etc. It is hard to be peachy keen. I battle with it everyday right now.

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During the Pandemic, I am on lock down. I can’t do anything without risking my life. I have several health issues that the virus would love to attack. I feel fortunate that I have made it over 7 months and have avoided it. I thank God for that.

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I have found ways around the lock down. I go for walks in my neighborhood. I get a lot of steps in. My wife has joined me so it is extra special.

We go on drives to no where. We just get in the car and go. We have found many cool things that we didn’t know was near us.

Luckily I also love to read, so my Kindle is red hot from being run so much.

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Well, the presidential race is nearing the end. Lots of bashing by both sides. I see so much negative information about the Biden side, I am going hard for Trump. He has done a wonderful job his first four years, and there is no reason to replace him.

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As for the military. There are sending more troops home from Iraq, and Afghanistan. It is perfect timing in my opinion. They will be home for the holidays, and will be able to be with family.

I see National Guard troops at some of the big cities Guess what…No rioting. It is those big cities run by democrats that won’t allow the National Guard in that has the rioting, looting, arsons, and even death.

What is wrong with this picture!

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Time for bed check. How are you doing? Have you survived the onslaught of garbage that is happening right now? Do you still have lagging memories that haunt you?

You are not alone! There are over 9,750 fellow veterans on this site and have your back.

However, it is just too much for you right now., GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number to call 24/7/ There are highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255 Option # 1

_______________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never fosaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

_______________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

Stories From the Trenches of Life that will Shock you

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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I am in the mold of seeing doctors a lot. Saw one today, and later today I have a CT scan done. Then it off to another doctor’s appointment on Monday and yet another one next Friday.

They all know me by my first name down at the clinic. LOL

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Today I am going to go back to telling you more about my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I will remind you that the book is in five sections:

  1. Basic Training.
  2. Deployment to Korea.
  3. Ft Bragg.
  4. Interviews.
  5. Complete index

Each section will have some humor; some sadness, and deep some thoughts. Some of what I wrote was extremely difficult. Brought tears to my eyes as I typed sometimes.

________________________________________

Here is one of many endorsements. This one is from a CEO from a Nonprofit that I love called, Victory for Veterans:

Although ‘Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life’ wasn’t written for men only, it brings honesty and openness to veterans, military personnel and men in general about feeling ok to express fears and emotional challenges in a difficult world.  US Army Retired Veteran, Mr. Douglas Bolton brings his personal stories to life in a way we all can relate to and gives a big “you’re ok” for revealing our shortcoming and encourages us to open up and talk.  A must read for those seeking healing and forgiveness from ourselves and those wanting a fresh look on life. 

Steve Durgin, Founder & CEO with Victory For Veterans Foundation. 


Here is another one from a retired woman Colonel. She was a head flight nurse while enlisted. She is now the director of the NYC nurses.

Signs of Hope for the Military: in and Out of the Trenches of Life, is a must read book for any military, which are hurting from PTD, TBI, anxiety, depression, etc. It has extensive valuable and doable suggestions for successful cope mechanisms. I have also enjoyed Doug Bolton sharing his own stories about his time in the military. He shows that he has been there and done that. This makes him very qualified to offer his advice, guidance and support.  

I applaud Doug for his insight and wiliness to share. I know you will too.

Colonel Dona Marie Iversen

United States Air Force

NYC, New York

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Now I will share a story from the actual book.:

I lost two great friends while deployed to South Korea. When I enlisted, I did it on the buddy plan. Two close friends and myself signed up the same day. We went to the same high school.

We went through basic training together. Many funny stories there. Then we went to Signal school at Ft. Gordon, Georgia. There we learned how to do Morse Code. We were placed in the Army Security Agency because of our good scores. All three of us. The ASA looks for security branches, like the CIA in public areas. Not as secret as the CIA, but we monitored the air waves for breaches in security. (I have another story where I had a Colonel busted for doing a breach.)

We we shipped out to Korea on the USS Mitchel. It was some rough times because of storms. One of my buddies lost 20 pounds just while we crossed the ocean.

Now for the sadness. Three of us we stationed at different places in Korea. Only two of came back home. One of my buddies caught some serious virus and died quickly. I was stunned for months after that happened.

Then I was stationed at Camp Red Cloud, near Uijeongbu. When we were stationed there in 1960 it was just a tiny village. Now is is a large city.

One night a close friend of mine got severely drunk coming home from the village. He was walking very erratically. He came by a rice field, and right by the road was a “Honey Bucket.” A honey bucket is a big hole in the ground that the farmers put human waste in of fertilizer for their rice. My friend fell into it and suffocated. Devastating news when he wasn’t there for our morning formation. The Captain had to tell us why.

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I have lost friends like many of you have. I know your pain.

After those two very sad stories, I need to see how you are doing. Have you lost a friend while in the Military? Has it stuck with you like it has for me? You are not alone! There are over 6.700 fellow veterans on this site that have you back.

It was pretty unbearable for me for a while. I battled big time depression, and had thoughts of ending my life. I was strong enough to overcome that, I am here writing to you to let you know I am here for you.

________________________________________

If it is just too overwhelming, GET HELP! Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will never hang up until they know you are OK.

________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

_________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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They all know me by my first name down at the clinic. LOL

________________________________________

Today I am going to go back to telling you more about my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I will remind you that the book is in five sections:

  1. Basic Training.
  2. Deployment to Korea.
  3. Ft Bragg.
  4. Interviews.
  5. Complete index

Each section will have some humor; some sadness, and deep some thoughts. Some of what I wrote was extremely difficult. Brought tears to my eyes as I typed sometimes.

________________________________________

Here is one of many endorsements. This one is from a CEO from a Nonprofit that I love called, Victory for Veterans:

Although ‘Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life’ wasn’t written for men only, it brings honesty and openness to veterans, military personnel and men in general about feeling ok to express fears and emotional challenges in a difficult world.  US Army Retired Veteran, Mr. Douglas Bolton brings his personal stories to life in a way we all can relate to and gives a big “you’re ok” for revealing our shortcoming and encourages us to open up and talk.  A must read for those seeking healing and forgiveness from ourselves and those wanting a fresh look on life. 

Steve Durgin, Founder & CEO with Victory For Veterans Foundation. 


Here is another one from a retired woman Colonel. She was a head flight nurse while enlisted. She is now the director of the NYC nurses.

Signs of Hope for the Military: in and Out of the Trenches of Life, is a must read book for any military, which are hurting from PTD, TBI, anxiety, depression, etc. It has extensive valuable and doable suggestions for successful cope mechanisms. I have also enjoyed Doug Bolton sharing his own stories about his time in the military. He shows that he has been there and done that. This makes him very qualified to offer his advice, guidance and support.  

I applaud Doug for his insight and wiliness to share. I know you will too.

Colonel Dona Marie Iversen

United States Air Force

NYC, New York

________________________________________

Now I will share a story from the actual book.:

I lost two great friends while deployed to South Korea. When I enlisted, I did it on the buddy plan. Two close friends and myself signed up the same day. We went to the same high school.

We went through basic training together. Many funny stories there. Then we went to Signal school at Ft. Gordon, Georgia. There we learned how to do Morse Code. We were playced in the Army Security Agency because of our good scores. All three of us. The ASA us a security branch, like the CIA in public areas. Not as secret as the Cia, but we monitored the air waves for breaches in security. (I have another story where I had a Colonel busted for doing a breach.)

We we shipped out to Korea on the USS Mitchel. It was some rough times because of storms. One of my buddies lost 20 pounds just while we crossed the ocean.

Now for the sadness. Three of us we stationed at different places in Korea. Only two of came back home. One of my buddies caught some serious virus and died quickly. I was stunned for months after that happened.

Then I was stationed at Camp Red Cloud, near Uijeongbu. When we were stationed there in 1960 it was just a tiny village. Now is is a large city.

One night a close friend of mine got severely drunk coming home from the village. He was walking very erratically. He came by a rice field, and right by the road was a “Honey Bucket.” A honey bucket is a big hole in the ground that the farmers put human waste in of fertilizer for their rice. My friend fell into it and suffocated. Devastating news when he wasn’t there for our morning formation. The Captain had to tell us why.

__________________________________________

I have lost friends like many of you have. I know your pain.

After those two very sad stories, I need to see how you are doing. Have you lost a friend while in the Military? Has it stuck with you like it has for me? You are not alone! There are over 6.700 fellow veterans on this site that have you back.

It was pretty unbearable for me for a while. I battled big time depression, and had thoughts of ending my life. I was strong enough to overcome that, I am here writing to you to let you know I am here for you.

________________________________________

If it is just too overwhelming, GET HELP! Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will never hang up until they know you are OK.

________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

_________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.