Violence in Military Marriages is far Too common, and Needs to Stop.

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Military news….

The last living WWII Medal of Honor recipient has died

Hershel “Woody” Williams was 98.

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Air Force selects new helmet to replace the one pilots have loved to hate since the 1980s

The Air Force picked a new helmet that could keep fixed-wing aircrew members more comfortable and injury-free.

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The US military is the only thing stopping China from swallowing Taiwan whole

As China steps up its rhetoric against Taiwan, lessons must be learned from the Russia-Ukraine conflict.

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Social media can be a weapon, and it’s time US troops get trained on it

Leaders need to be taught the risks and rewards of social media in a new era of information warfare.

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Russian boat reportedly sunk while bringing supplies to Black Sea island made famous by Ukrainian guards

A Russian military tugboat carrying a surface-to-air missile launcher to Snake Island in the Black Sea sank after two Ukrainian missiles struck it, Kyiv announced Friday.

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Endless shelling and dead soldiers: A vicious artillery war spreads in Ukraine

It’s a pitiless artillery war, perhaps not seen since WWI, involving less strategy than slugfest, both sides lob barrage and counter-barrage over a see-sawing front line and hope to still be standing when they pulverize the other side into submission or withdrawal.

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US and NATO seen in more favorable light abroad as world sours on Putin, survey finds

A median of 65% of those polled across 11 alliance member countries held favorable views of NATO, compared with 26% having negative views, Pew said.

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Here is another excerpt from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life. This is one aspect of the military people take for granted. However, they can’t forget it because it impacts their whole family.

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Violence in Military Marriages

In the military it is all too common that domestic violence raises its ugly head. The spouse that is left behind usually gets the brunt of it. Some signs that you may be one of those victims are:

  • Are you slowly, helplessly letting the continuous grip of despair come over you?
  • Are you pounded by guilt others have placed on you like the waves hitting the shores on the Oregon coast?
  • Does your marriage feel dead or burnt out?
  • Have you cried so much that the reservoirs for your eyes have dried up?
  • Do you fear the times when your spouse is coming home?
  • Do you feel it is better to remain silent than to say anything at all?
  • When you do speak, are you chastised or even beaten?

If you face any of these situations, you are in a domestic violence trap. Domestic violence sucks the joy out of anyone. You shouldn’t be like a bobble-head doll and let someone slap you around until you nod the way they want you to.

Angry people want to see how powerful they are.

Loving people want you to see how powerful you are.

Chief Red Eagle

His statement is so true. Angry people want to crash the hopes of those around them. They want to crush their dreams. They have to be in control. They seek power and seek submission from others.

Let’s look at what we can do to try to even the playing field in a marriage, military or otherwise.

Things that hurt a marriage can be:

  1. Making your spouse look bad in public. This can happen a lot in the military because there are a lot of functions that require their personnel to come with a spouse, and this seems to be a prime place to show others who is the boss.
  2. Putting coal in those angry snowballs you throw. Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can destroy me. So many times violence starts from a shouting match where one spouse is calling the other horrible names.
  3. Using threatening statements like, “I am leaving for good,” is so hurting that the other spouse will give in and allow the horrible dream to continue.
  4. Using absolute words like “always” and “never” when you describe something your spouse does or doesn’t do can crush their heart. Saying, “You always cook the wrong food,” or “You never keep the house clean enough,” is very degrading and harmful to the marriage.

One thing I’ve noticed when someone says they have a perfect marriage is that it is easy to see that one of them is in complete control. Feelings are not allowed. The outward appearance can be deceiving. If one spouse is always quiet and you seldom hear a word from them, it is often a bad sign. Silence is a deal breaker in most marriages.

If you are a victim, or even the aggressor, you need to change the path that you’re going down. You need to do a U-turn and go back to when you both were madly in love.

Have you ever noticed in the western movies when a cowboy has ridden his horse for a while he then stops, turns around, and then looks back? Why do they do that?

They do it because the trail looks different looking back than when they rode over it. It is a way to know your way back if you need to go that way again.

If you’re in the middle of a domestic violence situation, you need to look back and find your way back to where you both where truly in love.

One thing to remember is that when you first married you thought your spouse was nearly 100 percent awesome, and you knew the other amount was under construction.

Here is a big secret. (Now don’t tell anyone.) If we spent more time acting like we were still courting our spouses long after the marriage takes place, there would be less divorces and domestic violence in this world.

We need to keep forging ahead to find new ways to make things work for us. It’s like a river that reaches places the beginning of the river never knew. There will be new paths that we have never been on, and there will be walls we have never faced. But like that same river that meanders around obstacles, we have to find ways to go through, around, or under those walls to keep the home fires burning.

We need to quit looking for the bad in our spouse. It is like looking for weeds instead of enjoying all the flowers around them.

We must allow our spouse to become. By that I mean like when a caterpillar goes completely into a cocoon and is stripped of all form; yet it is changed into a beautiful butterfly. People are like that.

We also need to God in our lives. We need to have Him heal the open wounds of the heart and exchange the horrible looks on our faces with a smile. He can do that if we allow Him to.

If both spouses let go of their own desires and allow God to guide their lives, love will automatically overflow from each them. Of course, we know that love conquers everything.

If you are a victim, get help from the proper sources in the appendix. If you are the aggressor, do the same. There are anger management sources in the back. 

IWILL

Domestic violence is very much in the minds of all people these days because of the tremendous exposure it is getting in professional athletics. Way too many sports figures have made headlines because of domestic violence. The subject is now out in the open for all to think about in their own lives.

I agree that as military, you are living a regimented and strict life you have to obey every day. But there are no excuses to bring it home and use it on your spouse.

Use any resources you can to end the terror and humiliation of domestic violence.

Think about this

Isn’t it sad how we allow others to dictate our lives to us when we are capable of much more?

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Checking in on you. How are you doing? Is everything going OK, or are you fighting back memories?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 15,219 Veterans on this site who have your back.

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If you are battling mentally, but you are losing, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up.

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Scars Can Show Veterans Where They’ve Been, But They Don’t Show Where They’re Going

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Military news…

Goodbye Bragg and Benning: These are the potential names for Army bases honoring Confederates

Make way for ‘Fort Eisenhower,’ ‘Fort Cavazos,’ and ‘Fort Barfoot.’

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US deal with Taliban panicked Afghan military and hastened collapse, investigation finds

A watchdog report outlines how US actions during the withdrawal from Afghanistan, often done without communication to Afghan allies, fueled mistrust and paranoia, which led to mass surrenders. 

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Addition of Finland and Sweden to NATO would strengthen Arctic security, improve US training, military officials say

Navy and Marine Corps officials said Wednesday that the potential inclusion of Finland and Sweden in the NATO alliance would boost U.S. military activity in the Arctic and the Baltic Sea.

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Pentagon spokesman John Kirby to switch podiums for White House job

Chief Pentagon spokesman John Kirby is stepping down from his position to switch podiums for a senior communications job at the White House, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin said Friday.

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US, South Korea to discuss expanded joint military exercises Citing the threat posed by North Korea, Presidents Joe Biden and Yoon Suk Yeol of South Korea agreed Saturday to reinforce their defensive posture on the Korean Peninsula.

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20 countries in US-led Ukraine Contact Group offer new military aid packages to help Ukrainians beat back invading Russians
Some 20 countries in the U.S.-led Ukraine Contact Group agreed to contribute new military aid packages to help Ukrainian troops fight off the Russian forces that have been attacking their country for the last three months, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin announced Monday.

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On Asia trip, Biden says he would be willing to use force if China invades Taiwan

President Joe Biden signaled an apparent end to the US policy of strategic ambiguity by saying the United States would defend Taiwan against a Chinese invasion.

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Here is one of my best excerpts, according to readers, from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the trenches of Life.

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Scars Can Show Where We’ve Been, But They Don’t Show Where We Are Going

One of the hardest things for us as veterans and current soldiers is dealing with the scars we have had from the past. It may be a physical scar, or it may be mental or emotional. We can’t keep living in the past. Much of it is too painful to relive again. Yes, the present isn’t exactly rosy sometimes either, but it is here, and we need to deal with it. The one-day-at-a-time thought works for me. I just do what I need to do to make it through each day, and I am thankful when I have made it.

The future is something we can’t always control, but we can help shape it by being eager to take it on and conquering it with our determination and guts.

I feel deeply of those of you who have physical scars. I also feel deeply for those of you who have mental and emotional scars. I have been to the mountain with these kinds of scars.

Strive to never give in to the dark side thought of doom and gloom. Look for the bright side, and share it with others around you who need it as well.

This reminds me of Kris Kyle the sniper who was famous for his accuracy, and how many lives he saved by eliminating the enemy who was about to kill our soldiers. He was a tough and no nonsense kind of guy, and yet he lost his live trying to help a fellow soldier who was battling his own demons. Kris was trying to help others even though he had his own dark times.

Never give up! There may be walls in your way, but you will overcome them with perseverance.

Let someone pile expectations on and then exceed them. Your biggest goals in life become your biggest achievements. If you have discipline and drive, you don’t lose. You cannot lose. New ideas are sometimes scary, but can end up something special. Walls: They separate, divide, and isolate. But walls can always fall.

What we have to remember is that we have to go through the pains of life to achieve the joys. Pains actually inspire growth. 

I saw those words recently and at first I thought, Easy for you to say! Most people don’t know what real pain is. My neighbor recently complained she had double abscessed teeth. Knowing how painful that is, since I have had abscessed teeth myself, I thought about those military servicemen and women have lost their legs, arms, or are going to be in a wheelchair the rest of their lives. The level of pain is relevant to only what you are really going through.

We must always remember: With God on Our Side, who can be against us? No one!

IWILL

It is hard enough to exist in this cruel world without adding pain and mental strain to our lives. We need to battle the elements that attack us with vigor and valor, just like we would on the front lines, in the trenches, as we face the enemy. Stand strong and be brave.

Think about this

Isn’t it interesting how it takes bravery to face this world, but it takes even more bravery to give it all up to God?

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Checking in on you. How are you doing? Is everything going OK, or are you struggling?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 14,910 veterans on this site who have your back.

Here is what I am asking you to do…please share this site with as many other veterans as you can. It has helped so many.

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If you are battling mentally, but you are losing, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

______________________________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

_______________________________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

WWII Veteran Falls Out of His Bunk, and Ends Up in 20 Different Hospitals

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

________________________________________________________________

Military news…

Combat death puts spotlight on Americans fighting in Ukraine

An undetermined number of Americans — many with military backgrounds — are thought to be in the country battling Russian forces beside both Ukrainians and volunteers from other countries even though U.S. forces aren’t directly involved in fighting aside from sending military materiel, humanitarian aid and money.

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Germany: Quitting Russian oil imports by late summer is ‘realistic’

Germany says it is making progress on weaning itself off Russian fossil fuels and expects to be fully independent of Russian crude oil imports by late summer.

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Some civilians evacuated from Mariupol steel plant

Some women and children were evacuated from a steel plant that is the last defensive stronghold in the bombed-out ruins of the port city of Mariupol, a Ukrainian official and Russian state news organizations said, but hundreds are believed to remain trapped with little food, water or medicine.

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Rep. Kinzinger introduces measure to allow US military intervention if Russia uses chemical weapons

Speaking on CBS’ “Face the Nation,” the Illinois Republican said the joint resolution would not be a mandate for the Democratic president but rather a measure that would provide an option for Biden’s administration while also sending a warning to Russian President Vladimir Putin as he pursues war with Ukraine.

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Hacking Russia was off-limits, but the Ukraine war made it a free-for-all

Experts anticipated a Moscow-led cyber assault; instead unprecedented attacks by hacktivists and criminals have wreaked havoc in Russia.

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US weapons stockpiles will not be depleted to dangerous levels for Ukraine war, military officials tell senators
Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin told a subpanel of the Senate Appropriations Committee that the Pentagon is closely watching its inventories and working with the defense industry to replenish weapons such as Javelin and Stinger missiles as soon as possible.

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Army’s Gen. Cavoli nominated to lead US and NATO forces in Europe

Gen. Christopher G. Cavoli, who has led U.S. Army Europe and Africa for the past four years, will replace U.S. Air Force Gen. Tod Wolters, if confirmed.

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Here is an interview with a WWII veteran who was in 20 different hospitals.

My interview is with George Woodruff. We had become good friends. He is a WWII and Korean veteran. He is an American hero. Not because of what he did while in the military, but what he has done for his fellow veterans.

He is allowing me to share his name.

George Woodruff is a full time resident at Trinka Davis. Way back in his early military career he fell out of a top three tiered bunk and landed on his head. That would be the beginning of years of hospital times and many trips to the ER.

SOH

George, I want to thank you for taking the time to visit with me today. I am honored to be talking to you. Tell me about your early time in the military. When did you enlist?

George

August 8th, 1944.

SOH

Where did you do your Boot camp?

George

I did my boot camp at camp Downes, Great Lake Lakes Naval Training Center.

SOH

How was boot camp?

George

It was not Picnic! March… march… march, until you thought your legs would fall off. Then we had to wear a gas mask; enter a large chamber where you had to remove your gas mask. Tears ran down my face!

Boot camp was tough, but you learned to follow orders that might keep you alive when the actual shooting started. We became men during boot camp.

SOH

Where did you go after boot camp?

George

I was assigned to Basic Engineering School. I was temporarily transferred to the Replacement Depot. It had triple decker bunks there. I figured this was an accident waiting to happen since I was assigned the top bunk. They had no railings back then. And of course it did happen. I woke up one morning finding myself lying face down on the concrete floor. My nose was broken. I went to the aid station and the medical corpsman straightened up my nose.

I had no idea how serious my injuries from the fall actually were. I was to find this out the hard way over the many years as problems caused by the fall worsened.

I was in Army Hospitals 7 times during my service. Three of these were in Germany during the Berlin Airlift. I was in Navy Hospitals twice, once at Great Lakes for Scarlet Fever and once at Oakland Naval Hospital.
Since getting out of service I have been in VA Hospitals more than 20 times over the years.

SOH

Were there any incidents that stood out during your training?

George

We had a slightly overweight sailor who as not too clean. He bathed rarely. We finally grabbed him and took him to the shower. We used a stiff brush and soap and scrubbed him until his skin was red. From that day on that sailor was the cleanest guy in the barracks.

SOH

Tell me more on how your fall affected you as you went along in the service.

George

It was during the training period that problems from my fall began to manifest themselves. I would have periods of extreme irritability and occasional memory loss.

SOH

Did the fall cause you problems in your daily duties?

George

Yes, one day I was driving a forklift and blacked out. I went over the edge of a wall and crashed down onto a large diesel engine a few feet below. I was sent to Oakland Naval Hospital for evaluation and treatment. While I was in the hospital, Japan agreed to surrender on August 14th, 1945. Atom bombs had been dropped on Hiroshima, and Nagasaki.

SOH

What happened to you after your hospital visit?

George

I was honorably discharged on September 29th, 1945. I was awarded a 100% disability.

SOH

I see you were also in the Army, how did that happen?

George

I met a Sergeant in Houston who happened to be a recruiter. He invited me to his office, and he had a small bar. We had a few beers. I took some tests he asked me to take. We have several more beers. When I woke up the next morning, I was on a train to Ft. Ord, California! I had somehow joined the Army in 1947! (I did my basic at Ft. Ord, Just like George did. We have a lot in common.)

SOH

George went on to be trained at the Vent Hill Farms Station near Warrenton, Virginia. He was training for the Army Security Agency. (I too was trained to be an ASA trooper.) They trained people to do be radio intercept operators, cryptologist, and radio repair technicians.

SOH

I notice you spent much of your time at many different hospitals. That must have been tough.

George

I was in VA hospitals over seven times during my military days and over twenty times so far after I was discharged.

SOH

Let’s talk about now. One of the things you really had a hard time with was being separated from your wife Jeannie. Share your thoughts on that.

(Jeannie began to have memory loss and needed to be sent to a special facility that cares for those problems, and George had to be in a VA facility because of his problems. They had to live in separate places.)

“When Jeanne and I could no longer live together I felt like my world had ended. After so many years of a wonderful marriage we were torn apart by our failing health. It broke my heart and took away my reason for living.”
 
(This is an actual quote from George in an email to me.)
 
SOH
George now lives at the Trinka Davis Assisted Living Facility, in Corrollton, Georgia. This is a VA facility for military only. It was started by the good graces by Trinka Davis, who donated millions to get it started. 
 
SOH
 
George is now on hospice care, and has many ailments including congestive heart failure, diabetes, hearing loss, stenosis of the spine, problems still from his head injury, and many other ailments. He still has a very positive attitude. He has been an inspiration to me, and I will never forget him. He is a true American hero.
 
 
·        
 
In honor of my good friend George Woodruff, I am going share a poem he wrote in February of 2014. He told me he was extremely depressed when he wrote this poem, because he knew he would be separated from his wife Jeannie soon. 
 
Saga of a Disabled World War II Veteran
 
Time has passed me by and now I’m sick and old, nearly blind, kidneys failing, stenosis crippling my spine.
 
A pair of painful legs that no longer function or hold me up, a power wheelchair for this worn out old carcass of mine. 
 
So I guess I’ll bear this continual depression and pain. 
 
Until the Supreme Architect above finally takes me away. So God if you are up there somewhere listening to my prayer,
 
I would really appreciate it if you decide to do it today!
 
George Woodruff

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There will be more interviews in future posts. My next one will be with a Vietnam veteran. He has some very scary situations he had to go through. Keep coming back to see more. Better yet…God tot he top of this page and click on Subscribe. When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox.

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Checking in on you. How are you doing? Is everything going OK, or are you struggling?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 14,572 veterans on this site who have your back.

Here is what I am asking you to do…please share this site with as many other veterans as you can. It has helped so many.

______________________________________________________________

If you are battling mentally, but you are losing, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

_______________________________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

_______________________________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.