Tag: Ways to Survive

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Be a Friend to Someone

We have another excerpt from, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,” today. It is chapter seven. It is called, “Be a Friend to Someone.” It talks about being there for someone who is suffering.

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A reminder……we have this book on sale on this site. In the retail stores it costs $19.99, but on this site it is only $15.99. The shipping has been cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00.

This book reaches out to those who may be suffering with anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, hopelessness, etc. In this day and age there are many who are there because of the current economy.

There are on about 30 days left until Christmas, and to make sure you get the book in time, you need to order by December 16th.

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Chapter 7

 

Be a Friend to Someone

 

Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights.

No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

Job2:13(emphasis mine)

 

Job went through every kind of hardship you can imagine, but his worst hardship was the loss of his own children. Just think how devastated you would be if all of your children perished in one day.

The friends of Job knew that saying things like, “We are so sorry this happened to you,” would not help at all. So they just stayed near him to help him feel comfortable, and waited.

Many of us have friends who are heroes to us. This is because they never look down on you. They are always there for you when you need them. They still like you when you’ve made a mistake. The following talks about how you can be a hero to someone at a critical time of their life.

What do you say when you are with a person who has just lost a loved one? Do you try to explain why God took them? Do you say how sorry you are that it happened?

I lost my father onMay 4, 2001, and it was very hard for me, because we had grown so close in the final two weeks of his life. At the service, people kept coming up to me and saying how sorry they were, and that my father was at peace now. “If there anything I can do,” many of them said. None of this helped me at all. I knew they meant well, but I wanted them to go away and leave me alone.

The one person that really helped me through the whole service was my wife, Charlotte. She never said anything to me about how I was going to be OK. She just held my hand the whole time, and silently gave me reassurance. That was what I really needed! I wanted her to stay close to me, because she—not all the well-wishers who kept coming past me in the receiving line—was the one who was really helping me.

Job lost his children and most of his possessions. Some of his friends came to him and mourned with him. They just sat with him and didn’t say a word. He had a tremendous close encounter with God, and his friends were there to share it with him.

When you are with a friend or loved one who has a loss, just be there and be close to them. You don’t have to saying anything. Your presence will be their comfort. Reminds me of the little boy who walked in the door and announced that he had just visited the newly widowed neighbor.

“What did you say?” his surprised mother asked.

“Nothing. I just sat on her lap and cried with her.”

 

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and

God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort

those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,

so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

2 Corinthians 1:3–5

Further Adventures

Have you been to a funeral where you didn’t know what to say to the mourning family? Try saying nothing. They are glad you came to honor their loved one who has passed away. A hug and a smile will do wonders.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny how friends are like the walls of a house? Sometimes they hold you up. Sometimes you lean on them. But sometimes it’s enough to know they’re just standing by.

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Death, Where is Your Sting?

Today’s excerpt from “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,” is Chapter six, called “Death….Where is Your Sting?”

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I hope you are enjoying reading some excerpts from the book. Remember there is a little over 30  days left until Christmas, and we are having a Christmas sale for the book. In the retail stores the book is $19.99, but on this site it is only $15.99. The Shipping is cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00

If you are going to order, you need to do it by December 16th to make sure we can get the book to you in time for Christmas.

The book reaches out to those who may be suffering from anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, hopelessness, etc. This book would be a wonderful gift to help someone cope in a not so friendly world.

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Chapter 6

  

Death … Where Is Your Sting?

 

Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.

1 Corinthians 15:55–56

 

As believers, we have the comfort of knowing we have eternal life. According to Romans 5:12, death comes to all of us. We have to go through the process that all living things must go through. However, we can be reassured that we will have new bodies, and be in heaven with God.

It is also hard to lose loved ones and friends. God doesn’t explain to us why He takes some people earlier than others. It is not for us to decide who should stay. God chooses and we should thank Him for each day we have with our loved ones.

In May of 2001 my father was on his deathbed, dying from a stroke. On this day, I had another close encounter with God. I wanted to make sure that he was right with the Lord. I decided that I was going to talk to him when I was with him at the hospital. I went out into the hall to gather myself and pray.

I looked to my right. Coming down the hall was the pastor from the church I had been attending. He was coming to visit another member of the church. I stopped him and said I needed him to come in and talk to my father. The pastor did come in and talk to my father, and we were sure then that he had the Lord in his heart. I was overjoyed that the Lord had sent the pastor just at the time I was getting up the courage to talk to my father.

He just happened to be coming to the hospital? He just happened to be on the right floor? He just happened to be in the right wing, and he just happened to be coming down the hall when I went out into the hall? I don’t think so!! God sent my pastor on a mission to talk to my father that morning. My father died two days later.

It is all right to grieve for your loved ones and friends, but if you know they are Christians, you have tremendous comfort. You know you will see them again some day.

If they are not a Christian, take time to share with them the love of God. You could also have the hospital chaplain talk to them, or have your church’s pastor talk to them. You may even go out into the hall and have a pastor coming toward you to talk to them!

I also have had the privilege of having many friends that were very dear to me. They each made an impact in my life. In just the last few years, I’ve had to say good-bye to several of them. Physical death took them from us, but spiritually they live on. I am only sharing this to let you know that I will be able to see each of them when it is my turn to walk the walk.

Arlene Corn was probably the best Detroit Tiger fan in the whole world. She lived in our cul-de-sac. She also was also a wonderful Christian. When she went to be with the Lord we all sang “Take Me out to the Ball Game” at her packed memorial service. There was not a dry eye at the service. She was an instant friend in the neighborhood. You felt you knew her from day one. Cancer took her from us.

My neighbor, who lived across the street, was one of the toughest women I have ever met. She called a spade a spade, and wouldn’t hesitate to let you know if you needed to be corrected. When someone mentioned that a friend had “passed away,” she scolded, “They didn’t pass away; they died!” She did pass away, and she will be greatly missed by all of her neighbors. She loved dogs, and the neighborhood dogs seemed to have known it. They lined up at her home for treats. Cancer took her from us.

A teacher friend of mine was a single parent of two sons that she loved very much. She also loved teaching kindergarten children, and they loved her. My wife and I took her for many of her chemotherapy sessions because her sons needed to be in school. She wanted to look special for everyone, so she wore a wig and made sure she was dressed well for her doctor visits. She remained positive to the very end. She passed away in her sleep. Cancer took her from us.

Another friend of ours was very tough woman. She could bite the head off a pit bull, but she was a person who spread her love as far as she could reach. She loved the “boys” who came to visit her. They were high school kids who needed someone to talk to. She had them over almost every night. They would sit around and talk to her and her husband. It was a place for them to unload.

She unloaded on my wife and her husband one time at a doctor’s appointment they had gone to with her. They started to break down at something the doctor said. “Quit being wimps!” she scolded. She didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for her. At her memorial service no one was allowed to say anything sad about her. Cancer took her from us.

Another teacher friend was a very proud woman. She refused to dwell on her illness. She always felt she was going to beat cancer. She was a woman that fought for the right to have an assisted suicide inOregon, the first state to allow it. She felt that we all should be able to die with dignity. She even spoke before Congress on the issue. She passed away before she was able to have assistance. Cancer took her from us.

Howard Girod and I met several years ago when we moved next door to him and his wife. He was the kind of person you were not sure you would be friends with. He once jokingly called me the village idiot. But as I got to know him, I found out that he was the most loving man I had met in a long time.

I almost fell off a ladder he was holding for me, and he scolded me like I was his son. “Be careful!” he shouted. Another time just before his death, when he was very weak, he whispered to me from his hospital bed, “If I could start over again … I wouldn’t!”

His favorite line at the end was, “God bless you.” That meant so much to me, especially since he had once called me the village idiot. Howard was a strong Christian who said a strong word once in awhile, but his love for you made you know that he was going to have a seat close to God when he passed. Leukemia took him from us.

God took all these people the same way. They all died from some from cancer, except my father who died from a stroke. There is not an answer why they had to leave us so soon, but God has His reasons. I thank Him for sharing these people with me for the time we had together. A father or a friend is a precious person that you should cherish each day you have them. You never know when they will not be with you anymore.

 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

Psalm 23:4

 

I tell you the truth, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death.

John 8:51

 

Further Adventures

You never know when your close encounters will be. I have had many that I know of, but I probably had many more I didn’t know about. Try to keep track of when you have a close encounter and let me know about them by sending your story to me. (See Appendix on how to do that.)

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny that our children can’t read the Bible in school, but they can in prison?

 

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He Who Angers You Controls You

I have been sharing excerpts from my book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.” I will be sharing Chapter three today.
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Chapter 3

He Who Angers You Controls You

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brotherwill be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother,“Raca” [a term of contempt], is answerable to the Sanhedrin[body of authorities]. But anyone who says,
“You fool!” will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Matthew 5:22

I have “a short fuse.” I can be easily offended and strike back with anger. As the years have gone by I realize that anger doesn’t solve anything. It only raises my blood pressure, and allows the other person to win. They get what they want. They got me frustrated and not thinking clearly.

I have finally gotten smarter and have learned to control my feelings to the point where I still may be upset about what has happened, but I don’t let it cause me to verbally strike out toward the other person. I don’t “count to ten.” I turn to God to give me strength to overcome my own feelings and think about the consequences for me if I fail in my quest to help others with their anger. I also ask God to help me have a calm spirit, and an understanding heart. I’m not being a good example to my children—or anyone else—if I don’t.

The following story makes the point about anger very clearly. Got a hammer?
There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him to hammer a nail into the back fence every time he lost control. The first day the boy drove 37 nails into the fence. Then he gradually discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. His father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father led his son to the fence. “You have done well, but look at the holes in the fence,” he said. “When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like the nail holes. You can put a knife in a person and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry,’ the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.”

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.
Psalm 37:7

A fool shows his annoyance [temper] at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.
Proverbs 12:16

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Ephesians 4:26

Further Adventures
How do you deal with anger? Do you have loved ones who can’t control their feelings some times? I have been a victim of losing my temper sometimes. I can’t put a bunch of nails in my fence out of anger because Charlotte would want me be put in a safe place so I wouldn’t be harmful to anyone—or the fence—again.

But think about this story each time you get angry. Tell it to your loved ones when they get upset. This is an easy story to remember. It is very short, but its impact could be tremendous.

Something to Ponder
Isn’t it funny that when we say kind words to someone they say kind words back?

Remember: Never, ever, give up!