Spouses Are a Critical part of the Military life

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Military news…

The U.S. military is looking for ways to make night vision goggles even more badass, like by making them as lightweight and compact as a pair of regular eyeglasses.

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There’s an abandoned Air Force base with underground tunnels for sale on Facebook right now.

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Two Marines died and 17 were injured in a vehicle rollover accident on a highway near Camp Lejeune, North Carolina on Wednesday.

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“It is still hard to say goodbye to a unit that has so completely defined the experience of being a Marine.” That’s from Marine Lt. Gen. James Bierman, who wrote a memo about the pending deactivation of the legendary 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marines.

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A soldier was beheaded at Fort Bragg over a year ago. The Army still doesn’t know why.

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Russian troops move into Belarus, DOD officials weigh options should Ukraine be invaded
A State Department official said Tuesday that an invasion of Ukraine could now come from its northern border with Belarus after Russian troops were moved into that country for military drills.

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Military services enlisted fewer but better qualified recruits at outset of coronavirus pandemic in 2020, study finds

The Pentagon took in fewer recruits in 2020 than in prior years as the coronavirus pandemic swept across the globe, but those accepted into the military were generally of higher quality than in recent years.

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British C-17s carrying arms to Ukraine fly around German airspace

British C-17 cargo planes carrying anti-tank missile systems have been dispatched to Ukraine, bypassing German airspace in the process in an apparent effort to expedite the delivery of the hardware.

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Here is a very vital chapter from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

Military Spouses Have a Huge Task

“Military counts on spouses more than any other job.”

Chief of Staff of the Army, General Ray Odierno (Retired)

One of the toughest situations in the military has to be for a spouse who is left behind during a time of deployment.

I was single when I was deployed to Korea. I was married for only a couple of months before I got out of the military, so I don’t have firsthand experience about this. But I have read many different spouses’ thoughts regarding how it was for them to be at home alone to take on all the tasks by themselves. This chapter will discuss their thoughts and hopefully give you some insight into the world of being a spouse at home during a deployment.

I guess the most important place to start is noting that there are both male and female spouses who are left behind to “hold down the fort,” while their loved one is gone. There are many wives/mothers who are deployed as well as husbands/fathers.

I have found that it may be a little harder for the man who is left behind for a couple of reasons. The most glaring one is the friend circle, or the lack of it. Men often don’t have a very big circle of other male spouses of deployed wives to share their struggles and frustrations with.

They also have to face the few (who, in my opinion, are uneducated) who look down on a man who stays behind and isn’t on the front lines himself. They are ignorant of the fact that in the real world many mothers go off to work and the dad is “Mr. Mom.”

There is no shame in this anymore than in a wife staying home and caring for the children and household.

In general what follows is what either male or female parents go through to survive in the home environment.

It seems they are always at their limit. They need to get kids off to school. Need to clean the house. Take time to do the bills. They are off to the grocery store. Pick up the kids at school. Take them to soccer practice. Pick them up afterwards. Prepare all the meals. Take out the trash. Do the laundry, and put the kids to bed.

I could list many other things the at-home spouse must do, but what I have written so far leads to a very stressful day. As a matter of fact it can be downright overwhelming.

As if all of these concerns weren’t enough, they also worry about their spouse who may be in harm’s way. They worry about enough money coming in to support the family. They may have to get jobs to help out, which leads to daycare issues or older children being home alone at times.

Speaking of the children, they seem strong. They seem to be coping better than the spouses in most cases. However, there are the times they realize their other parent isn’t around and they miss them. They begin to cry and need hugs and love.

It is extremely important that there is a circle of friends for support, male or female. Those friends shouldn’t just say, “How’s your day?” and not really mean it. They need to actually want to know how your day is. They need to sit and listen when you need them.

The distance (both emotional and geographic) between them and their spouse can be very hard. There are missed moments. There are lonely nights. There are times they are angry because they have to make so many of the decisions.

Then when the spouse returns after a long deployment, the dynamics and rhythms of home life have often changed as the at-home spouse carries the load. That can make the re-introduction of the military person into the home a bit awkward.

How about when the spouse is home? Sounds like a perfect situation, except everything depends on what the military wants. It’s hard trying to plan leaves and vacations and special occasions. They often have to be postponed at a moment’s notice.

The on-duty military spouse also may have long hours, even up to 12- to 14-hour days. The family may feel as if the parent is still deployed even though he or she is home.

One of the hardest parts for a military family is the constant moving from one location to another. Every two to three years, they have to pack up everything and move. Each family member loses a circle of friends at the old duty post and then has to make new ones at the next location. This occurs many times during an active military person’s time of service.

There is also the problem of the spouse finding a job at the new duty post. With each move, the spouse has to start at the bottom at their place of employment—if they can find a job and/or are actually over-qualified for an entry-level position. Often employers don’t want to hire someone who will probably be leaving in a couple of years. Sometimes the spouse has to settle for a less-than-ideal job in order to contribute to the family’s finances. 

And when the military says it’s time to go to a new duty post, the non-military spouse is often the one to shoulder the details of the move. I can speak from personal knowledge on this since my daughter-in-law is married to my son who was an Army officer. They moved more than 15 times during his time in the military. They often had to pack up their belongings in a U-Haul and travel sometimes thousands of miles and unload at the other end. My daughter-in-law often had to find the new home before they moved and make all the arrangements. She spent endless hours cleaning, packing, and planning the trip.

One of the toughest times for the military family is the holidays. It’s hard if the family is unable to see the extended family at this time of year. And it’s doubly hard on the family if a parent is deployed. At Christmas, the kids really feel sad because Mom or Dad isn’t there to open presents with them. This is when the at-home spouse really has to be brave and do whatever they can to smooth this time over.

Trying to find happiness in a military family during deployment is tough at best, but I received a note from a woman who told me, “Other people are not responsible for your happiness.” That tough-love statement is very true. We can’t expect other people to make us happy. We need to find our own happiness, and hope that our spouses will also help us in finding that happiness.

In concluding this chapter, I want you to know that many spouses don’t cry because they are weak. They cry because they miss their spouse. Part of that is because they wake up every day wondering if their spouse is still alive.

So to all of you, who are friends and family of those in the military, be sure to tell the military person thank you, but also tell the spouse thank you. They are heroes too.

As in every walk of life, God is the constant force to turn to during stressful times. He is close and hears your cries for help. He will give you comfort, and help you through the daily trials you face.

IWILL

This chapter was one of the hardest for me to write. My heart goes out to those who are left behind. I mentioned my daughter-in-law earlier, and I must say she was an angel in disguise for my son during his military career. She never faltered. She was always by his side. She supported him 100 percent 24/7. I can speak for my son in saying that it would have been a tough road to travel if he hadn’t had her by his side, encouraging him and loving him.

Think about this Isn’t it interesting how some people go unnoticed who are really the wind beneath your wings?

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Come back often to see other excerpts. Better yet…go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do lal future posts will go directly to your inbox.

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Checking in on you…How are you doing? Are you struggling?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 13,650 fellow veterans here who have your back.

If you are battling mentally, because of your love for others, but it isn’t working, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will no hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

PTSD Can Pull you Down Into the Muck and Mire Like a Huge Magnate

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The White House is trying to get our minds off of Afghanistan, and on spending trillions of dollors on bills that are full of pork.

Presidnet Biden seems to be doing what ever he can to trash the military. I am hearing rumors he doesn’t like the military.

Presdient Trump loves the military. He did what ever he could to get higher funding, and praised the soldiers for their dedication.

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I am going to start sharing excerpts from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life. This is against my publishers wishes.

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This chapter will be rather Long, but I want to show you the great information it has:

People Don’t Understand Me

We all know that great, and satisfying marriages are possible, But what about those who face PTSD (Post Tramimatic Stress Dosorder, ) in their marraige?

People with PTSD may affect many more than just their spouses. It could be the parents, children, siblngs, friends, or co-workers.

PTSD is an exposure to a severe trauma.

The Mayo clinic says:

“PTSD is a mental condition that is triggered by a terrifying event.”

People who struggle with it are not crazy, weak, a failure, or even a bad person. They are looking for help just like the rest of us.

Some of the symptoms of PTSD are:

  1. Reliving the event.

A. Memories of the tramatic event can come back often and at any time. You may feel the some fear and horror like you did when the event took place. For example:

+ You may have nightmares.

+ You may feel like you are going through the event again. This is called flashback.

+ You may see, hear, and smell something that causes you to relive the event. This is called a trigger. News reports, seeing an accident, or hearing a car backfire are examples of triggers.

2. You may try to avoid situations that remind you of the event.

+ You may also try to avoid situations or people that trigger the memories, You may even avoid talking about the event. For example:

+ You may avoid crowds, because they may make you feel uncomfortable.

+You may avoid driving if your miitary convoy was bombed.

+ You may keep busy or even avoid seeking help because it keeps you from thinking ot talking about the event. (You should never let this happen. You need to verbalize your feelings to let your helpers know how they can really help you. )

3. Negative changes in beliefs and feelings.

+ The way you think about yourself and others may change. There are many symptoms including the following:

+ You may not have positive or loving feelings towards other people, and may stay away from relationships.

+ You may forget about parts of the tramatic event, or not be able to talk about them. (Again, please share your thoughts. It will not only relieve your mind, but you can get the proper help that you dearly need.)

4. Feeling keyed up

+ You may always be alert and on the lookout for danger. You might suddnely become angry or irritable. For example:

+ You may have a hard time sleeping.

+ You may have trouble concentrating.

+ You may be startled by a loud noise or surprise.

+ You may want to have your back to a wall in a restaurant, or waiting room.

The spouses of a veteran with PTSD have many of their own emotions such as:

+Sleeping probems.

+ Depression.

+Wanting to run away.

+ Feeling trapped.

+Feeling hopeless.

+ Feeling exhausted.

+They may even question their faith.

There could be a possiblity of getting PTSD themselves. like getting cancer from second hand smoke.

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I read an article in Guide Posts Magazine about a wife who started having the same symptoms as her husband who was battling PTSD. A family with PTSD in it can be pulled into the muck and mire like a family who have one of their own battling durgs or alcochol.

Wouldn’t it be great to be abe to say, “Take two aspirin and see me in the morning,” and the PTSD would be all gone? The truth is that the veteran with PTSD may never totally get over it. But the people involved can learn agreat deal from it; to handle it better. They can do this and still have a good marriage

The trauma they face may never go away, but the trauma can be reduced to the point it doesn’t control the person.

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There is much more to this chapter, but I didn’t want you to give up, because you thought it was too long.

I highly suggest you aquire this book if you are struggling with PTSD. There is another chapter dealing with the same subject.

You can read that chapter in the near future right here. Better yet… Go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your in box.

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Checking in with you brothers and sisters….How are you doing?

Do you suffer with PTSD? Do you dread the nights for fear of nightmares?

FEAR NOT!!!

There are over 13,135 fellow veterans here on this site who have your back.

If the world is just too crazy for you, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number to cal 24/7. There are highy qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

!-800-273-8255…texting838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

Homeless Veterans Need our help to survive

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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They are bringing more troops home from Iraq.

It is a good move to get our troops home for the holidays. I am hoping they will also start sending more troops home from Afghanistan.

They deserve to come home and be with family.

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There was a shooting death

at the riots in Denver, Colorado yesterday. A man was shot in the face and killed instantly. The shooter was a hired security guard with Pinkertons security. Apparently the man shot had slapped the shooter in the face. Is that worth killing someone?

There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason for the violence, other than to cause chaos and destruction. It is not about black people being killed anymore. It is called Anarchies to the fullest.

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I am worried

about our fellow veterans who are left out in the cold. I mean for real. There are far too many veterans who are homeless. Hard to explain why, but they are out on the streets having to beg for support. They served their country only to have to live out in the cold. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!

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I cover the homeless veterans in my new book

Signs of Hope for the military: In and Out of the trenches of Life. There is a whole chapter reaching out to them.

I also cover spouses who are left behind when there is deployment. I also speak about the male spouses who are left behind, and how it is harder for them.

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An update on how the book is going.

I have a publisher that I am in contact with and they seem very interested. They sound solid, and if we can can agree on a few things we will work together.

I only have a few more interviews, and then to format the book. It has already been professionally edited.

I will keep you posted as to the actual publication date.

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Checking in.

How are you doing my friend? Does it seem you have the whole earth on your shoulders? Are the burdens getting pretty heavy? You are not alone. There are over 9,700 fellow veterans her who have your back..

If you are overwhelmed right now, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. It has highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will not hang up until they know you are alright.

1-800-273-8255 Option # 1

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Remember:

You ar enever alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.