Marriage can be Shear Joy, but Also Mixed with Little Spats

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There are new things to look at on the site.

  1. The is a new trailer of the book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.” It is on the right side under the Amazon icon. Click on it to see what the book is all about.
  2. There is a new page forming called, “All About Writing.” That page will talk about publishing; have guest authors share, and discuss writing trends.
  3. I have posted two 5 star reviews of my book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,” on the “All About Writing” page. Click on the All About Writing tab to also see all my other places you can connect with me.
  4. There is a new page called, “Publishing News.” This page will bring you news from around the world on trends, latest news on publishing, and any other things that may be interesting.

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Another shocking announcement! ( That got your attention!) “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World, ” is now out in eBook form. I You can acquire it at all the eBook outlets. It is only $4.99. Help it climb the www.amazon.com best selling list. You can even order it right from this site by clicking on the Amazon icon on the right.

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I have a podcast here that I did with John Kremer, the marketing guru. He invited me to share unusual places to sell books. Take a listen and hit those streets running: goo.gl/WGTF7

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Thoughts just for you…

I had a very interesting last few days. It is called a wedding! My nephew and his future wife had the rehearsal dinner on Thursday night. The rehearsal went well, and we headed to the rehearsal dinner.

It was at a Greek restaurant. I have only been to a Greek restaurant a couple of time, and this was a great experience.

The food came in different courses. First we had several different kinds on appetizers.  The calamari was different in that it either had huge pieces of tenecles  from a larger octopus, or the whole octopus, but a tiny little ones. I had nothing to to with the little guys. I didn’t want them sliding down my throat.

The main course was wonderful. Lamb chops, and a Greek salad that was out of this world.

All this time wine bottles were being brought to the tables. Every Time there was an empty bottle they replaced it with a full one. Can you begin to know what the atmosphere was getting to be like?

Then after about an hour, a belly dancer came out and all the groomsmen went nutzo!!She did very well with the dollars being place on her (don’t know what it is called) Skirt?

Then it was Saturday, and the wedding. It was a beautiful wedding. It was set in the woods near a river.

The pastor talked to the couple, and pronounced them man and wife.  Afterwards at the reception, was another “party,” with free wine and beer. It got pretty wild in there after a while. No one was overly drunk, but there were certainly a lot of very happy people.

This brings up the question about weddings:

If you are married can you tell me what was actually said by the person doing the ceremony? Most of us can remember the words, “to cherish, and to hold,” and “Til death do us part.” But what about what the Pastor said directly to you?

At this wedding this Pastor said, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husband. Support him through the trials, and and the happiness of life.  Husbands respect your wives, and treat them with love and compassion.

I can remember some of the words my Pastor used, and still try to be the best husband I can be to my lovely wife.

So, the wedding is over…now what? There will be days of shear joy, and days of hurt feelings, and little spats. It is called life.

Remember that you should love your spouse as much as the day you first married them. Many times the love grows into something much more wonderful. That is what has happened in my life.

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

Above all….never, ever, give up!

 

 

 

 

A Small Stumble May Lead to a Big Fall

I have a busy week coming up by Monday. I will going “Door to door,” visiting all the bookstores in Salem, Oregon. I am diving head first into my marketing for the book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.”

I did the research, and there are twelve bookstores in Salem. Lots of “Mom and Pop” level bookstores, and one Borders bookstore. My goals to to have a least one of my book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,” on the shelf of each of these stores.

You have a chance to own the book before it hits the shelves in about 2o days. You can go to www.winepresspub.com right now and save 27% of what the retail price will be when it comes out.

When you get to the site, click on the bookstore at the top, and then when you are there, put in “Signs of Hope,” in the search area. That should get you right to my page. You will see that you will only be paying $14.59 instead of the retail price of $19.99.

When the book comes out you will get the book sent to you that day.

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What follows is an actual excerpt from the book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.”

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Chapter 52

A Small Stumble May Lead to a Big Fall

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

1 Peter 5:8–9

Lydia Moeller was at her recital and ready to play for the audience. The girl before her finished and Lydia walked onto the platform. She sat down and began to play “The Enchanted Stream” by Christopher Goldston. She started out playing a beautiful tune, but about halfway through she stumbled when she forgot her notes. She stopped, tried to start, and stopped again. You could she the emotions building, and tears were coming down her face. Then a wonderful thing happened. She regrouped and played the song without error. So, yes, she stumbled, but she didn’t fall. She kept her balance and finished the race. I said to her afterwards that I was very impressed with her. Not that she stumbled, but that she finished the race.

Do you stumble and fall because you have worries and problems that overtake you? Well, you are not alone my friend. This is an all too common occurrence in our lives.

We let enemies like divorce, abuse, overweight, low self-esteem, depression, fear of failure and bills that are not paid to cause us to stumble, and wonder, Where is God?

Satan loves this kind of doubt. He can plant many thoughts in our heads to cause us to fall even further. Some of these worries may be small by themselves, but put enough of them together and they become as large as Mt. Everest.

That broken-down car isn’t such a horrible thing, but you have already missed some work because of it, and your boss said you are not to miss any more work. The illness that attacked your daughter isn’t life-threatening, but you have no insurance to pay for the doctor’s visit. You want to put that glass of whiskey down, but you can’t.

Each of these issues may be small to some people, but for you it is like taking on Sir Lancelot and his sword with a wet noodle, or trying to swim ten miles and not knowing how to swim.

Some of the most successful people in the Bible have stumbled many times, and still are loved by God.

Abraham lied—not once but twice—to save his skin, but God gave him all the land he could see and promised that he would be the father of a nation.

Moses killed a man, and doubted God many times, but he led the nation of Israel out of Egypt.

Rahab was a prostitute, but her heart was open to God, and she protected three spies for Joshua. God in turn spared her life.

David committed adultery and had a man killed to cover up the first sin. (And both of these sins are biggies in our book.) Yet, God called him “a man after his own heart.”

Jonah tried to run away from what God commanded him to do and was swallowed by a whale. He later followed God’s command to preach to all the people in Nineveh.

Peter denied knowing Jesus three times, but became one of the prominent leaders in the early church.

Each one of us has stumbled many times. We have the choice to lie there flat on our face when we stumble, or we can get back up and continue our walk with God. The longer we lie there, though, the harder it can be to get back up and into the race again.

We wonder sometimes why God would love us. The good news is that He loves us just the way we are. But He doesn’t want us to stay that way. He didn’t want all those people in the Bible to remain they way they were. However, He accepted them the way they were, and transformed them into spiritual leaders.

How can we change? By taking our focus off our failures, fear and worries and turning them over to God.

The mind is like a stream running through our brain and the stream has been polluted. It will tear us down and eventually affect everything if we let it. When we stop the flow of “sewage” (unwholesome input, negative thinking) to the brain, it will take awhile for the creek to clear. We can’t clean up all the sewage at once, but we need to take the first steps.

Before he became the king of Israel, David was so down and desperate that he had to live in a cave to get away from his pursuer—the king himself. It was there that he realized that all he had to do was to cry out to God, asking Him to protect him and bring him back to where God really wanted him to be.

I myself was so down from my stumbling that I seriously considered suicide. I cried out to God to rescue me, and He did.

We need to not focus on our times of stumbling and need to focus on God instead. Our weeks need to include reading the Bible, praying to God for guidance, going to church to be with other Christians, being part of a Bible study, and reading Christian books (like mine, of course!) We need to take time to be with other Christians.

We can’t afford to dwell on the negative. Instead, we need to seek out the positive. If we have failed in the past (and we all have in one degree or another), we are not doomed to live in the past. God desires that we live for today—and the future.

Others may have turned their backs on us because of our stumbling and seeming inability to “get it together.” But they’re only seeing the outside. Remember that God looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:7).

Maybe you haven’t stumbled, but you think people look down on you because you don’t have as many of this world’s possessions as they have—or maybe you have more than they do. Or maybe you feel you don’t measure up in other ways—too overweight, too this, too that, or not enough this or enough that.

Remember, please, that God doesn’t care about any of those issues. He is looking at your heart. He is looking for you to follow Him and do great things for Him.

Satan uses our stumbling to tell us we might as well give up. “You won’t succeed no matter how much you try,” he whispers. You want to stop smoking, but you can’t. You want to finish that project your wife has been screaming for you to finish, but you don’t have the desire. You can fill in the blanks because you know what your issues are.

Please don’t give up. Never give up! Find friends you can turn to at times like this. Share your fears and let them be your protectors, coaches and encouragers. A true friend wants only the best for you, will listen and not criticize, and is a person you can feel safe with. A true friend may have to say some hard things to you, but his intention is that you become the best person you can be.

I have friends like that here on earth, but I also have one more—Jesus Himself. He meets all the criteria listed above for a true friend. I am never alone—He is always just a prayer away.

We don’t have to try to make more money—or lose 50 pounds, or climb the ladder at work—to feel worthy in His sight. Our willingness to simply turn all our troubles over to God and let Him love us is the “proof” of our worth. Success in this life can be measured by how much we love God and desire to serve Him.

So you’re not in line to be named as the next Pope. You’ve done some things you’re not proud of? You gave up too early on a dream? Do you feel like Custer and you’re on your last stand? Do bad things keep resurfacing like a cork in a lake?

Well,  join the “Been there and done that” club. Here’s a news flash: Churches are filled with the down-and-out. They may look like the “up-and-in” crowd, but they need someone who’s “been there and done that” to come alongside them for encouragement and fellowship. You may be the one person in your entire church who can honestly say to that person, “I know how you feel.”

I have a hearing problem. I have to wear hearing aids in both ears. I have learned to use selective hearing. (Don’t tell my wife!) I take off my hearing aids when I want a quiet time. I go somewhere that noise cannot find me, where I can really concentrate on reading the Bible or praying.

However, I’ve found there are two types of thoughts I can always hear, and I get to choose which side of the “argument” I’ll listen to:

  1. 1. Yes you can … No you can’t.
  2. 2. God will help you … There is no God.
  3. 3. You have self-worth … You are worthless.

All of us can choose to use selective hearing too. We can turn a deaf ear to those stumbling days and the years of doubts. We can walk the straight path toward the future and listen only to God.

I don’t seem to hear Satan as much anymore—because of the ear-plug effect. I can choose to plug the ears to my thoughts and not allow negative thoughts to penetrate, but open my mind’s ears wide to uplifting, soothing thoughts.

All of us have ears; we just haven’t learned to use them properly. We can turn the volume down on people who want to degrade us and turn up the volume on those who come alongside to help us.

When we’re standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst from feeling depressed, dejected and beaten down, we can wade ashore and quench our thirst on the love of God. God responds to our sighs, our tears, our fears—even our stumbling and falling—as a prayer to Him.

Each of us is a child of God—made in His image. Don’t you think that since He went as far as to make us in His own image that He will do everything He can to love and do what is best for each one of us? Of course He will.

Stop stumbling and start walking with God.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:12

Further Adventures

We all fail sometimes. It may be small thing like forgetting where the car keys are. It may be you lost the important papers you boss told you to take are off. It may be a broken marriage. It may even be your own job that you have lost. It is what you do after each of these happens that shows what we are made of. I can’t tell you how many times I have lost my keys. I have had to have Charlotte bail me out often by getting the keys for me, but I am still driving. I didn’t give driving up because I feared I would lose the keys again. I have lost important papers. I had this book all one and was getting ready to go back through and ad some Further Adventures to it like the one you are reading now. I completely finished it one time. But somehow I lost the whole file. I think I must of sent it to a friend and asked them to proof read it and forgot who I sent it to. I haven’t found it to this very day. So this is my second attempt at writing this Further Adventure. I vaguely remember the other one I wrote for this chapter, and I like this one much more. Could it be that it was God that “lost” that file for me?

The point to all of this is that you stumble and you fall. I did. You need to get back up; dust yourself off and start up again. I will get all the Future Adventures done the second time, and now I am convinced that they will be better than the first time I wrote them.

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny that we seek happiness from the outside, but true happiness is found on the inside?


Will you Still Need me; will you Still Love me, When I’m 65?

Loved the Wedding; Invite Me to the Marriage

—God

 

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33

 

For the past several decades, weddings have been held in churches. That is a good place to start a life together. The minister talks about loving each other and establishing a Christian home. All things seem to be in place.

It is always a beautiful thing to observe—two people holding hands and making vows of everlasting love. The mothers of the bride and groom have tears in their eyes. Some dads wonder when the ceremony will end. The newly married couple can’t wait to head out on their honeymoon. The reception is a real celebration. Everyone is happy, and the day ends.

Then what? The next day is a new day, and it is the first day of a young couple’s new life together. Decisions have to be made together. They go everywhere together. They are now a team that will last forever.

Eventually the scene changes a little. Both spouses find they need some time alone, but they’re afraid to say so. Resentment can build and they may feel like the walls are closing in on them.

It’s sort of like going to church on Sunday—and then there is Monday. What do you do then? What do you do with what the pastor said in the sermon? How do you make it practical—something you can use all week?

Often the message is soon forgotten, and nothing happens to make Monday any different. We sit and listen to the advice and sermon points on Sunday, sometimes even nodding our agreement, and then we ignore them on Monday.

The advice and promises that are part of the marriage ceremony are vital to the ongoing relationship with a spouse. But during the actual ceremony the bride and groom aren’t listening to the advice. Instead, they’re trying to remember the words they have to say, or they’re worrying about their hair or how they look or if there will be enough food for the guests.

They go into their life together, winging it, flying with no parachute. Marriage does not have to be an on-the-job training situation.

Does this ring a bell? Do you remember your wedding day? Was it all about listening to the advice the minister gave you, or was it about making sure you sliced the wedding cake just right? Maybe it was making sure the photographer took one more picture.

We’ve all been there. It is an exciting, wonderful, important, stressful, nerve-racking day. It is the day we dream of all our lives, and we want to have all the memories forever.

But as you go on with your lives together, what happens next? Is the same spark there five years later? How about ten years later? We are supposed to still love when the wrinkles come and the fire is not as hot.

Have you agreed on how plans should work out, or have you agreed to disagree?

Getting married is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives. If we plan to live a lifetime together with our spouse, shouldn’t we talk to a minister ahead of time? Wouldn’t it be good to seek out what God has in mind? Marriage counseling to learn more about a future spouse would also be in order.

These things may seem obvious, but you would be amazed how many people do not do any of those things. Some feel it is more fun to run off to Reno to get married. Others decide to live together and not even get married.

God loves for us to be happy and have companionship, within the context of His will. He believes in marriage. That is why He wants us to make sure we’re making the right choices.

Running off and getting married on a whim is like putting all our life’s earnings on a blackjack table and hoping to get a 21. The chances of that happening are slim and none.

I agree that a marriage often does work out in spite of the odds. All I have been saying is pretty harsh, but just like putting all our money on a blackjack table, the Reno odds of a successful marriage are pretty dim too. Does a 50% chance seem acceptable for you? Some surveys say that as many as 50% of marriages fail when they do not have a foundation of premarital counseling that includes having plans for the future in place.

God needs a prominent place in our marriages. We need to let Him be our advisor as we plan for the future. He needs to have a special rent-free place in our hearts. No bargaining. No yearly leases. He needs to be a year-round, full-time resident, helping marriage partners live a life full of love and understanding for each other.

There should always be three people in a marriage: you, your spouse and God. The three of you make an unbeatable team.

 

Marriage should be honored by all.

Hebrews 13:4

Further Adventures

“Will you still love me? Will you still need me, when I’m 65? That song rings in my ears many times when I look at my bride. She has been with me through the storms, and the good times. Do we have nothing but beautiful rainbows everyday? That would be backwards wouldn’t it? You need a little rain to bring on the rainbow.

That is what a marriage is like. You have days when you laugh and have fun with your spouse, but there are other days when you have been hurt by that same spouse. You feel unwanted, and dejected. That is when you should buckle down and really work hard at your marriage. Your spouse is not your enemy. They may be angry at the moment, but they still love you, and by sitting down and discussing the hurts and dejections you feel, the rainbow will come out again. The key is to still love your spouse with all your heart, when they are starting to show age with wrinkles.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny how much easier it is to forgive than to hold a grudge?

(Excerpt from: Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.)