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I Was Considering Suicide to Check Out of This Hotel Called Earth.

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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Had cataract surgery just one hour ago on my right eye. Typing with one eye for now. Lots of fun.

As a veteran, my heart breaks every time I hear about another brother or sister committing suicide. This happens 22 times everyday. Before I finish this post another one will die.

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Let me give you some back ground on my self:

I struggled often while I was deployed. I was a teenager, and missed home. I also had some buddies die, so I was on the edge, like many military personnel that are deployed.

I was in a bad situation for my mental health. When I got out and was married. Everything seem to mount up on me. I had trouble relating to my wife. I barked at family and friends.

I reached to bottom of my life on March 31st, 2001. That was the year when the Twin Towers were hit by planes. My father also died that year, and I was at my ropes end.

On April 1st (fool’s day) I couldn’t take anymore. I was in my Ford Explorer driving. I was sobbing , and it was hard to see the road. I pulled into a high school parking lot, and found the most hidden part. I was considering suicide.

I was sobbing so much that the windows were fogging up. I finally cried out to God, “I can’t take this anymore!” Then suddenly I got quiet. the windows started clearing up. There was a freshness inside my rig.

It was almost like God was saying, “It is about time you came back to me. Now let me carry you the rest of the Way.” I was stunned. I had forgotten about God, but He waited patiently for me.

I drove home and went into my office. in a drawer I saw some journals I had been writing for several years. I picked one up and started reading. I saw immediately that what I was writing was what I was going through right then.

I had wanted to write a book, but didn’t know it would be about. I kept reading more from my journals, and soon realize exactly what I should be writing about. I had been writing my hurts, and failures, but also how I overcame them. People who were hurting needed to read this book.

Each journal seemed to fit perfectly into a chapter. I kept going for almost another year to finish writing. When I did, I was out looking for a publisher. I was surprised when several were interested. It was hard to do that in this day and age.

I picked out my publisher and had the book printed.

The title of my first book is, Signs Of Hope: Ways to Survive in an unfriendly world.

That book went on to win a National Award from, The Reader’s Choice Awards. I was able to put Award winning Author on all of my books.

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Now, of course I am almost finished with my second book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I have told you in earlier posts that I have some powerful endorsements coming in for the book. I have a General. Several Colonels. A CEO for a nonprofit called Victory for Veterans. Several WWII veterans, and more.

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I encourage you to read some earlier posts. They are full of information about the book. Some endorsement are there as well.

I have a publisher interested, and I have already checked them out. I think we will be a great team. If I go with them this week, the book should be out on January.

Come back to see exactly when it will be published.

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My favorite times is now where I check to see how you are doing. You are a brother or sister to me, and I want what is best for you.

However, is there times when you feel like I did in 2001? Is the world spinning too fast? Too many burdens on your shoulders? You certainly are not alone my friend. There are over 9,770 fellow veterans on this site, and everyone of them have your back. But if it getting too overwhelming for you, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that is 24/7. There are Highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255 Option # 1

________________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never ever, give up!
_________________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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Stories From the Trenches of Life that will Shock you

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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I am in the mold of seeing doctors a lot. Saw one today, and later today I have a CT scan done. Then it off to another doctor’s appointment on Monday and yet another one next Friday.

They all know me by my first name down at the clinic. LOL

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Today I am going to go back to telling you more about my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I will remind you that the book is in five sections:

  1. Basic Training.
  2. Deployment to Korea.
  3. Ft Bragg.
  4. Interviews.
  5. Complete index

Each section will have some humor; some sadness, and deep some thoughts. Some of what I wrote was extremely difficult. Brought tears to my eyes as I typed sometimes.

________________________________________

Here is one of many endorsements. This one is from a CEO from a Nonprofit that I love called, Victory for Veterans:

Although ‘Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life’ wasn’t written for men only, it brings honesty and openness to veterans, military personnel and men in general about feeling ok to express fears and emotional challenges in a difficult world.  US Army Retired Veteran, Mr. Douglas Bolton brings his personal stories to life in a way we all can relate to and gives a big “you’re ok” for revealing our shortcoming and encourages us to open up and talk.  A must read for those seeking healing and forgiveness from ourselves and those wanting a fresh look on life. 

Steve Durgin, Founder & CEO with Victory For Veterans Foundation. 

Here is another one from a retired woman Colonel. She was a head flight nurse while enlisted. She is now the director of the NYC nurses.

Signs of Hope for the Military: in and Out of the Trenches of Life, is a must read book for any military, which are hurting from PTD, TBI, anxiety, depression, etc. It has extensive valuable and doable suggestions for successful cope mechanisms. I have also enjoyed Doug Bolton sharing his own stories about his time in the military. He shows that he has been there and done that. This makes him very qualified to offer his advice, guidance and support.  

I applaud Doug for his insight and wiliness to share. I know you will too.

Colonel Dona Marie Iversen

United States Air Force

NYC, New York

________________________________________

Now I will share a story from the actual book.:

I lost two great friends while deployed to South Korea. When I enlisted, I did it on the buddy plan. Two close friends and myself signed up the same day. We went to the same high school.

We went through basic training together. Many funny stories there. Then we went to Signal school at Ft. Gordon, Georgia. There we learned how to do Morse Code. We were placed in the Army Security Agency because of our good scores. All three of us. The ASA looks for security branches, like the CIA in public areas. Not as secret as the CIA, but we monitored the air waves for breaches in security. (I have another story where I had a Colonel busted for doing a breach.)

We we shipped out to Korea on the USS Mitchel. It was some rough times because of storms. One of my buddies lost 20 pounds just while we crossed the ocean.

Now for the sadness. Three of us we stationed at different places in Korea. Only two of came back home. One of my buddies caught some serious virus and died quickly. I was stunned for months after that happened.

Then I was stationed at Camp Red Cloud, near Uijeongbu. When we were stationed there in 1960 it was just a tiny village. Now is is a large city.

One night a close friend of mine got severely drunk coming home from the village. He was walking very erratically. He came by a rice field, and right by the road was a “Honey Bucket.” A honey bucket is a big hole in the ground that the farmers put human waste in of fertilizer for their rice. My friend fell into it and suffocated. Devastating news when he wasn’t there for our morning formation. The Captain had to tell us why.

__________________________________________

I have lost friends like many of you have. I know your pain.

After those two very sad stories, I need to see how you are doing. Have you lost a friend while in the Military? Has it stuck with you like it has for me? You are not alone! There are over 6.700 fellow veterans on this site that have you back.

It was pretty unbearable for me for a while. I battled big time depression, and had thoughts of ending my life. I was strong enough to overcome that, I am here writing to you to let you know I am here for you.

________________________________________

If it is just too overwhelming, GET HELP! Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will never hang up until they know you are OK.

________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

_________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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They all know me by my first name down at the clinic. LOL

________________________________________

Today I am going to go back to telling you more about my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I will remind you that the book is in five sections:

  1. Basic Training.
  2. Deployment to Korea.
  3. Ft Bragg.
  4. Interviews.
  5. Complete index

Each section will have some humor; some sadness, and deep some thoughts. Some of what I wrote was extremely difficult. Brought tears to my eyes as I typed sometimes.

________________________________________

Here is one of many endorsements. This one is from a CEO from a Nonprofit that I love called, Victory for Veterans:

Although ‘Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life’ wasn’t written for men only, it brings honesty and openness to veterans, military personnel and men in general about feeling ok to express fears and emotional challenges in a difficult world.  US Army Retired Veteran, Mr. Douglas Bolton brings his personal stories to life in a way we all can relate to and gives a big “you’re ok” for revealing our shortcoming and encourages us to open up and talk.  A must read for those seeking healing and forgiveness from ourselves and those wanting a fresh look on life. 

Steve Durgin, Founder & CEO with Victory For Veterans Foundation. 

Here is another one from a retired woman Colonel. She was a head flight nurse while enlisted. She is now the director of the NYC nurses.

Signs of Hope for the Military: in and Out of the Trenches of Life, is a must read book for any military, which are hurting from PTD, TBI, anxiety, depression, etc. It has extensive valuable and doable suggestions for successful cope mechanisms. I have also enjoyed Doug Bolton sharing his own stories about his time in the military. He shows that he has been there and done that. This makes him very qualified to offer his advice, guidance and support.  

I applaud Doug for his insight and wiliness to share. I know you will too.

Colonel Dona Marie Iversen

United States Air Force

NYC, New York

________________________________________

Now I will share a story from the actual book.:

I lost two great friends while deployed to South Korea. When I enlisted, I did it on the buddy plan. Two close friends and myself signed up the same day. We went to the same high school.

We went through basic training together. Many funny stories there. Then we went to Signal school at Ft. Gordon, Georgia. There we learned how to do Morse Code. We were playced in the Army Security Agency because of our good scores. All three of us. The ASA us a security branch, like the CIA in public areas. Not as secret as the Cia, but we monitored the air waves for breaches in security. (I have another story where I had a Colonel busted for doing a breach.)

We we shipped out to Korea on the USS Mitchel. It was some rough times because of storms. One of my buddies lost 20 pounds just while we crossed the ocean.

Now for the sadness. Three of us we stationed at different places in Korea. Only two of came back home. One of my buddies caught some serious virus and died quickly. I was stunned for months after that happened.

Then I was stationed at Camp Red Cloud, near Uijeongbu. When we were stationed there in 1960 it was just a tiny village. Now is is a large city.

One night a close friend of mine got severely drunk coming home from the village. He was walking very erratically. He came by a rice field, and right by the road was a “Honey Bucket.” A honey bucket is a big hole in the ground that the farmers put human waste in of fertilizer for their rice. My friend fell into it and suffocated. Devastating news when he wasn’t there for our morning formation. The Captain had to tell us why.

__________________________________________

I have lost friends like many of you have. I know your pain.

After those two very sad stories, I need to see how you are doing. Have you lost a friend while in the Military? Has it stuck with you like it has for me? You are not alone! There are over 6.700 fellow veterans on this site that have you back.

It was pretty unbearable for me for a while. I battled big time depression, and had thoughts of ending my life. I was strong enough to overcome that, I am here writing to you to let you know I am here for you.

________________________________________

If it is just too overwhelming, GET HELP! Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will never hang up until they know you are OK.

________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

_________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

Posted on

This WWII Soldier Should Have Died

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. You may be saving a life. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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It is hump day. The rest is down hill for the week.

I have decided to share with you the story of Don Malarkey. He was a WWII veterans who servid in Easy Company for the 101st Airborne division. (The Screamin Eagles)

Why am I sharing his story? He is from my home town of Salem, Oregon.

His company was written in a book called, “The Band of brothers.” He was one of the main caharcters. The book was later made into a mini series with the same name. He was a main charcter in that as well, and played by Scott Grimes.

He was 96 when he passed.

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Don was dreafted out of University of Oregon.

Something that wouldn’t happen today. He decided to become a paratrooper. Within months he was assigned to the 101st Airborne division.

During the early hours on D-Day June 6th, 1944, Malarkey parachuted behind enemy lines in support of the allied invasion. Later that day, in a pitched battle, he helped knock out four German 105 mm artillery battery, in action now called the Bre’court Manor Assault. This is still studied at West Point as a classic example of small-unit attack tactics and leadership in overcoming a large enemy force.

Marlarkey was award, among other awards, the Bronze star, the Purple Heart, and in 2009 the Legion of Honor Medal, the highest honor awarded by the French Government.

Back to the “Band of Brothers,” book and mini series. Mararkey appeared on several of the introductory segments that were incorporated into the show.

After the mini series, Malarkey and his Band of Brothers counterparts practically became household names. Malarkey spoke often to college students, and other groups of his experiences. He also traveled with the USO to Army Posts and hospitals in the United States and Europe.

He wa asked how he felt about telling all the experiences he had. he said he was humbled and even a lttle bit embarrassed by the attention he and his fellow Easy Company members had received.

Then he said, “But, then I remember that I owed it to the guys who did not return, as I tell of their courage, trauma and accomplishments.”

It was still a little overwhelming for him , but he was grateful for the letters from people who wanted to say thank you, ask questions, and wanted pictures autographed.

I have another story coming up about another Band of Brothers, who also lived in Oregon. He just passed away last week.

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I have been able to interview several WWII veterans.I will tell you about one veteran, and you have to read the book, “Sign of Hope for the Military: In and out of the Trenches of life.,” to see the interview.

Ira Feldman was at the end of WWIl, and was actaully honorabley discharged. Then the Korean war was started, and they drafted him again, because of his knowledge. The following story is about this part of his military carreer:

When he got to the airport to be sent to Korea he happened to see a buudy of his from WWII. They met and told many strores. Then they were separted. In the hanger they were waiting in to fly, a Sargent was calling out names of who was flying on one of the two planes leaving. Ira figured out that his buddy wasn’t going to be on the same plane with him. He went up to the sargent and asked if he could change planes to be with his buddy. The sargent barked and told him no!

Ira was trying to figure out what to do, when he saw an officer along the edge of the hanger looking like he was in cahrge of the whole operation. Ira got brave and walked up to him and asked him the same question. The office got irritated and told him to get back with his men. Ira didn’t budge. He knew this was his last change to fly with his buddy. He explained again to the officer how important it was to be with his friend. The officer finally yelled, “Get out of my face and get on the other plane with your buddy!”

So he was with his buddy and they even sat together. The two planes took off at the same time. Things were going great until he heard from the cockpit that the other plane had crashed. Everyone was killed, and he was suppose to be on that plane!!

There is a trmemneous interview with him on his feelings about the crash and what happened while he was fighting in Korea.

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BTW… I just got exciting news about my up coming book, “Signs of Hope for the military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.” I have a publisher who is very interested. We are in the negotiation stage, and I think we will be working together. More news on this later.

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This is a pretty long post, but I really enjoyed sharing it with you.

How are you doing?

Do the days seem hard and long. Are there days you wish you could forget? You certainly are not alone my friend. There are over 9,600 fellow veterans here who have your back. Reach out to them if you need help.

If it is just too overwhelming right now, GET HELP!

Here is a 24/7mtoll free number for you to call. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8225 Option #1

_________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never ever, give up!

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. You may be saving a life. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.