Tag: and hopelessness

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Loved the Wedding; Invite Me to the Marriage-God

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The book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World, is available in our bookstore now. This books reaches out to those who may suffer from anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, hopelessness, and the many other usual suspects.

In the retail stores it sells for $19.99, but on this site it is only $15.99. The shipping has been cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00. Just click on the “Bookstore,” tab at the top of this page.

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I am sharing with you an actual excerpt from the book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.” This excerpt talks about what we do after we have our weddings. Do we leave God in our lives, or do we wing it on our own?

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Chapter 36

 

Loved the Wedding; Invite Me to the Marriage

—God

 

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33

 

For the past several decades, weddings have been held in churches. That is a good place to start a life together. The minister talks about loving each other and establishing a Christian home. All things seem to be in place.

It is always a beautiful thing to observe—two people holding hands and making vows of everlasting love. The mothers of the bride and groom have tears in their eyes. Some dads wonder when the ceremony will end. The newly married couple can’t wait to head out on their honeymoon. The reception is a real celebration. Everyone is happy, and the day ends.

Then what? The next day is a new day, and it is the first day of a young couple’s new life together. Decisions have to be made together. They go everywhere together. They are now a team that will last forever.

Eventually the scene changes a little. Both spouses find they need some time alone, but they’re afraid to say so. Resentment can build and they may feel like the walls are closing in on them.

It’s sort of like going to church on Sunday—and then there is Monday. What do you do then? What do you do with what the pastor said in the sermon? How do you make it practical—something you can use all week?

Often the message is soon forgotten, and nothing happens to make Monday any different. We sit and listen to the advice and sermon points on Sunday, sometimes even nodding our agreement, and then we ignore them on Monday.

The advice and promises that are part of the marriage ceremony are vital to the ongoing relationship with a spouse. But during the actual ceremony the bride and groom aren’t listening to the advice. Instead, they’re trying to remember the words they have to say, or they’re worrying about their hair or how they look or if there will be enough food for the guests.

They go into their life together, winging it, flying with no parachute. Marriage does not have to be an on-the-job training situation.

Does this ring a bell? Do you remember your wedding day? Was it all about listening to the advice the minister gave you, or was it about making sure you sliced the wedding cake just right? Maybe it was making sure the photographer took one more picture.

We’ve all been there. It is an exciting, wonderful, important, stressful, nerve-racking day. It is the day we dream of all our lives, and we want to have all the memories forever.

But as you go on with your lives together, what happens next? Is the same spark there five years later? How about ten years later? We are supposed to still love when the wrinkles come and the fire is not as hot.

Have you agreed on how plans should work out, or have you agreed to disagree?

Getting married is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives. If we plan to live a lifetime together with our spouse, shouldn’t we talk to a minister ahead of time? Wouldn’t it be good to seek out what God has in mind? Marriage counseling to learn more about a future spouse would also be in order.

These things may seem obvious, but you would be amazed how many people do not do any of those things. Some feel it is more fun to run off toRenoto get married. Others decide to live together and not even get married.

God loves for us to be happy and have companionship, within the context of His will. He believes in marriage. That is why He wants us to make sure we’re making the right choices.

Running off and getting married on a whim is like putting all our life’s earnings on a blackjack table and hoping to get a 21. The chances of that happening are slim and none.

I agree that a marriage often does work out in spite of the odds. All I have been saying is pretty harsh, but just like putting all our money on a blackjack table, theRenoodds of a successful marriage are pretty dim too. Does a 50% chance seem acceptable for you? Some surveys say that as many as 50% of marriages fail when they do not have a foundation of premarital counseling that includes having plans for the future in place.

God needs a prominent place in our marriages. We need to let Him be our advisor as we plan for the future. He needs to have a special rent-free place in our hearts. No bargaining. No yearly leases. He needs to be a year-round, full-time resident, helping marriage partners live a life full of love and understanding for each other.

There should always be three people in a marriage: you, your spouse and God. The three of you make an unbeatable team.

 

Marriage should be honored by all.

Hebrews 13:4

Further Adventures

“Will you still love me? Will you still need me, when I’m 65?” That song rings in my ears many times when I look at my bride. She has been with me through the storms and the good times. Do we have nothing but beautiful rainbows every day? That would be backwards, wouldn’t it? You need a little rain to bring on the rainbow.

That is what a marriage is like. You have days when you laugh and have fun with your spouse, but there are other days when you have been hurt by that same spouse. You feel unwanted and dejected. That is when you should buckle down and really work hard at your marriage.

Your spouse is not your enemy. She may be angry at the moment, but she still loves you, and by sitting down and discussing the hurts and dejections you feel, the rainbow will come out again. The key is to still love your spouse with all your heart—even when she is 65 and her age is starting to show.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny how much easier it is to forgive than to hold a grudge?

 

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A Day Hemmed in Prayer Keeps Your Day From Coming Unraveled

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Just a reminder about ordering my book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.” You will need to order it by December 17th to make sure it gets to you in time for Christmas. This book reaches out to those who may suffer from anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, or hopelessness.

There is s special sale going on for now until Christmas. Just click on the “Bookstore,” tab above to take a look at it.

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Below is anothe exceprt from the book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive an an Unfriendly World.” We spend to many hours in a day fight through the muck and mire of life. We need to know we have someone to go to through prayer, who will take us by the hand and lead us out of the pits of dispair.

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A Day Hemmed in Prayer Keeps Your Day from Coming Unraveled

 

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

 

Ephesians 6:18

 

A survey in which 47,000 people participated on the comcast.com website revealed the following reasons for divorce:

Money 26%

Growing apart 22%

Easy way out after the “honeymoon is over” 22%

Personality conflicts 16%

Infidelity 15%

Cultural differences 1%

Religion 0%

 

These results are very interesting. The root of all evil, which some say is money, is the number one reason for divorce. This is alarming because so many people feel that money can buy happiness. If the poll is correct, then money does nothing to buy happiness. In this instance, it “buys” discontent with a marriage partner.

We look in the wrong places for happiness. Instead, all we have to do is look around us—in our own homes. Happiness comes in many forms. You see your children growing. You have a home for them to live in. You have friends to help you be happy. Why would you let money destroy everything you already have? You even have God who lives within you.

Think of the little things you have that are more important than money. Think small. It’s often the little pleasures in life—not the big things like lavish parties or cruises or exotic vacations—that bring happiness. Having all your family getting together for a holiday can be a source of happiness. Think about each member of your family and what each means to you. Money can’t buy that feeling.

If everything above makes sense to you then you shouldn’t use money as an excuse in your marriage. Time could be tough for your family because of the lack of money, but don’t make the family be torn further apart by having a fragmented home.

Study the rest of the poll to see where you may fit in as far as where you are hurting. Then concentrate on ways to erase that problem from your memory banks. Any of the excuses have a way to be turned around and made into a positive.

Living for God eliminates all of the excuses.

Each of us has to realize that we are not perfect, and that our spouses aren’t either. Don’t expect a spouse to be the dream person you pictured when you were in high school. Accept them for what they are, and realize they are not the enemy. They love you, and they want you to love them.

The word hurting describes what happens when we say awful things to our spouses. We often say things that cut deeply into their hearts. Remember to use words that heal, not hurt. I have a prayer in my daily devotions that simply says, “Help me to say nice things that do not hurt.”

Write your own hurts in the sand and your blessings in stone. (Another great bumper sticker!)You will be going in the right direction if you can do this.

To me, the most striking result of the survey is that no one out of 47,000 people listed religion as the reason for divorce. That is amazing. Perhaps it is because people who have religion/Christ in their lives seem to handle differences in people much better. I think a lot of it is how they stay close to God and turn their troubles over to Him.

As the bumper sticker says, using prayer to keep your life intact is the most important thing to do. Pray without ceasing, and God will be there for you.

 

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all

without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

James 1:5

 

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name.

Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

John 16:24

 

Further Adventures

“Survey says …” Have you ever watched Family Feud? The family gets together and tries to come up with a good answer to the survey question. What a great idea for a marriage! Whenever you feel hurt or left out by your spouse, get together and try to come up with a good answer.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny how we always seek perfection when we should concentrate on progress instead?


 

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Mighty Mouse is on the Way. Mighty Mouse will Save the Day

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Over at my blog: www.dailysignsofhope.com, the sign-up is incredible. I had 17 people sign-up for the RSS feed in one day and it has averaged 10 people a day. because of that the site is ranked # 2 out of over five million similar sites. (Yes, that is  millions.) Check it out and see why so many people are signing up there, and come back and do it here to see the rankings sky rocket here as well.

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Here is another excerpt from my book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.”  This book reaches out to those who suffer from anxiety, fear, depression self-doubt, addictions and hopelessness.

This excerpt is my top 20 countdown to find ways to cope in this not so friendly world.

(My apologizes for the font size changes on the countdown list. I can’t seem to correct that. They were fine in the book I copied them from.)

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                    DON’T DESPAIR—MIGHTY MOUSE

 

                                     WILL SAVE THE DAY

 

I use to love the cartoon “Mighty Mouse.” The song always got me pumped: “Mighty Mouse is on the way. Mighty Mouse will save the day!”

 Here is the Doug Bolton “Top 20 Countdown” that will help you save the day and love God. With apologies to David Letterman.

20.Do you have trouble getting to know someone? Is it hard for you to make friends? Remember: Strangers are family once you get to know them.

19. The world is divided into two categories: the ones who will accomplish a great deal, and those who won’t accomplish anything. You will be the one who will accomplish much, if you allow God to help you.

18. No one is going to love you more if you are fat or skinny. They will love you because of the person you are.

17.  When you hate someone and want them to hurt, you hurtyourself. Spend more time trying to help others feel good about themselves, and you will feel good about yourself too.

16. You do not need to let stress control you. You do not need to be a workaholic. It is OK to rest. Jesus takes over when you can’t cope.

15. When you feel depressed because of losing a loved one, remember God knows your pain. He saw His only Son buried.

14. When someone is trying to degrade you, it is time for selective hearing.

13. You just took another breath while you read this. Thank God for it.

12. When you marry, you need to stay together even when the skin starts to wrinkle and the excitement fades.

11. God’s goal is not to make us happy; it is to make us His. It is not to give us what we want; it is to give us what we need.

10. If God doesn’t come to your rescue right away, maybe Heis waiting until you give away your pride.

9. Don’t apply labels to people until you have examined the contents.

8. Everyone is unique even down to the fingerprints and DNA. God has a plan just for you and wants you to use the talent He gave you. Yes, you!

7. The greater the future you have, the greater the attack willbe from the prince of darkness. Pray for God’s protection, and Satan will be fish bait!

6.While you can’t control someone else’s heart, you can control yours.

5. Don’t say, “Thanks, God, I can take it from here,” and then not check in with God until the next crisis. Pray without ceasing.

4. All the great hitters in baseball fail two out of three times.

3. The most common command in the Bible? “Fear not.”

2. Practice makes perfect. Study God’s Word each day and learn more of His love for you.

AND the number one reason you will conquer depression is … (Drum roll please)

1. God made you in His own image. Shouldn’t that make you think He wants everything to go well for you? Trust Him to provide all your needs—emotionally, physically and spiritually.

The teacher blood left in me now has an assignment. Start your own positive list of thoughts to help you fight off depression. Read it every day and add to it. 

1.

 

2.

 

3.

 

4.

 

5.

You can make it through a life that was a swamp full of alligators and horrible storms! Now you can  move on to more sunny days. You can  move on to where there is hope. You can move on to the light at the end of the tunnel. You can move away from those alligators that will be made into shoes if they don’t leave you alone.

Depression and the many other mental afflictions do not go away in a flash. I still have bouts with them from time to time, but I quickly concentrate on the positive. I concentrate on God and all His love He has to share with me. I concentrate on my family, my children, my grandchildren. I concentrate on the good things that have happened in my life.

Because I do all that, I see that the pluses far outweigh the negatives every time. It is like the song says: “Count your blessings; name them one by one. Count your many blessings; see what God has done.”

If you can’t think of enough blessings, know that I love you with all my heart, and so do millions of other people who suffer with the many afflictions in their lives. We know your pain, and we are praying for you daily.

We are many, and Satan is only one stupid misguided angel. We can defeat him if we all work together. We are an unbeatable team when we have one goal. That goal is to live productive Christian lives in which we stand on solid ground, not on the shifting sands of our emotions.

Prayer has saved my hide more than I want to admit. My hide would be hanging on Satan’s prized trophy wall if God hadn’t saved me. Now Satan is grass and I am the lawn mower with God’s help.

This can be the way it is in your life as well.

Never, ever, give up!