Category: ways to cope

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Will you Still Need me; will you Still Love me, When I’m 65?

Loved the Wedding; Invite Me to the Marriage

—God

 

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33

 

For the past several decades, weddings have been held in churches. That is a good place to start a life together. The minister talks about loving each other and establishing a Christian home. All things seem to be in place.

It is always a beautiful thing to observe—two people holding hands and making vows of everlasting love. The mothers of the bride and groom have tears in their eyes. Some dads wonder when the ceremony will end. The newly married couple can’t wait to head out on their honeymoon. The reception is a real celebration. Everyone is happy, and the day ends.

Then what? The next day is a new day, and it is the first day of a young couple’s new life together. Decisions have to be made together. They go everywhere together. They are now a team that will last forever.

Eventually the scene changes a little. Both spouses find they need some time alone, but they’re afraid to say so. Resentment can build and they may feel like the walls are closing in on them.

It’s sort of like going to church on Sunday—and then there is Monday. What do you do then? What do you do with what the pastor said in the sermon? How do you make it practical—something you can use all week?

Often the message is soon forgotten, and nothing happens to make Monday any different. We sit and listen to the advice and sermon points on Sunday, sometimes even nodding our agreement, and then we ignore them on Monday.

The advice and promises that are part of the marriage ceremony are vital to the ongoing relationship with a spouse. But during the actual ceremony the bride and groom aren’t listening to the advice. Instead, they’re trying to remember the words they have to say, or they’re worrying about their hair or how they look or if there will be enough food for the guests.

They go into their life together, winging it, flying with no parachute. Marriage does not have to be an on-the-job training situation.

Does this ring a bell? Do you remember your wedding day? Was it all about listening to the advice the minister gave you, or was it about making sure you sliced the wedding cake just right? Maybe it was making sure the photographer took one more picture.

We’ve all been there. It is an exciting, wonderful, important, stressful, nerve-racking day. It is the day we dream of all our lives, and we want to have all the memories forever.

But as you go on with your lives together, what happens next? Is the same spark there five years later? How about ten years later? We are supposed to still love when the wrinkles come and the fire is not as hot.

Have you agreed on how plans should work out, or have you agreed to disagree?

Getting married is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives. If we plan to live a lifetime together with our spouse, shouldn’t we talk to a minister ahead of time? Wouldn’t it be good to seek out what God has in mind? Marriage counseling to learn more about a future spouse would also be in order.

These things may seem obvious, but you would be amazed how many people do not do any of those things. Some feel it is more fun to run off to Reno to get married. Others decide to live together and not even get married.

God loves for us to be happy and have companionship, within the context of His will. He believes in marriage. That is why He wants us to make sure we’re making the right choices.

Running off and getting married on a whim is like putting all our life’s earnings on a blackjack table and hoping to get a 21. The chances of that happening are slim and none.

I agree that a marriage often does work out in spite of the odds. All I have been saying is pretty harsh, but just like putting all our money on a blackjack table, the Reno odds of a successful marriage are pretty dim too. Does a 50% chance seem acceptable for you? Some surveys say that as many as 50% of marriages fail when they do not have a foundation of premarital counseling that includes having plans for the future in place.

God needs a prominent place in our marriages. We need to let Him be our advisor as we plan for the future. He needs to have a special rent-free place in our hearts. No bargaining. No yearly leases. He needs to be a year-round, full-time resident, helping marriage partners live a life full of love and understanding for each other.

There should always be three people in a marriage: you, your spouse and God. The three of you make an unbeatable team.

 

Marriage should be honored by all.

Hebrews 13:4

Further Adventures

“Will you still love me? Will you still need me, when I’m 65? That song rings in my ears many times when I look at my bride. She has been with me through the storms, and the good times. Do we have nothing but beautiful rainbows everyday? That would be backwards wouldn’t it? You need a little rain to bring on the rainbow.

That is what a marriage is like. You have days when you laugh and have fun with your spouse, but there are other days when you have been hurt by that same spouse. You feel unwanted, and dejected. That is when you should buckle down and really work hard at your marriage. Your spouse is not your enemy. They may be angry at the moment, but they still love you, and by sitting down and discussing the hurts and dejections you feel, the rainbow will come out again. The key is to still love your spouse with all your heart, when they are starting to show age with wrinkles.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny how much easier it is to forgive than to hold a grudge?

(Excerpt from: Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.)

 

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The Cross is Just a Piece of Wood From a Tree

One Cross + 3 Nails = 4 Given

 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever

believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

 

Have you ever thought about the cross? It was just a piece of wood. It came from an everyday tree. It was shaped for one purpose: death! Think about the cross you may be wearing, or the one you see during your church service. Have you ever really thought about the pain this one piece of wood caused?

History knows about the cross, and some people have despised it. The cross is worn by millions of people. It is often gold-plated and worn as jewelry—usually not to symbolize what it really means, or to show our faith. But the cross really means dying. A cross was used to punish the guilty. It displayed the offender in front of others so they would “learn a lesson” and not do the same thing. Bottom line: It was a torture device to show the power of the leaders during their time.

People try to ignore the significance of the cross, but they can’t. It is the piece of lumber that makes the biggest claim in the history of man. After all, when Jesus was here on earth, He hung on that cross, claiming to be the Savior for all mankind. He even had the nerve to claim He was God Himself!

Jesus was a carpenter and knew how hard it was to toil each day with his hands and a hammer. He had calluses on His hands even though those hands touched a blind man’s eyes and caused him to see. He used those same calloused hands when He touched a leper and he was healed. He knew what hard work was, and yet He had a tender touch that healed hundreds of people.

This is the God of love brought down to earth in the form of a man—a person with flesh and blood like you and me. Full of hurts. Full of sadness. Full of fear. Didn’t He cry out to God to “take this cup from Me”? Wasn’t He whipped, slapped and spat upon? Didn’t He slowly and painfully walk with that cross on His shoulders knowing that He would soon be hung on it and go through tremendous hurt and suffering? From the cross, didn’t He ask God why He had forsaken Him? Wouldn’t you have a little fear?

So we have the cross ready for the crucifixion. How about those nails? They weren’t tiny nails you’d use to build a birdhouse in the backyard. These were spikes—large nails about five inches long. They crushed the bones and caused pain that was beyond description.

Imagine your fear as they placed your left hand on that cross and get ready to pound that nail through your hand. The mallet comes down, and you scream in pain. But before you can catch your breath, they are nailing your right hand down.

Now that they have you securely part of the cross, they put your feet together, one on top of the other and slam another spike through both of them at once.

Do you feel the pain? Do you get the picture? Can you now relate to the sacrifice that Jesus had to go through so that you wouldn’t have to?

He was hurting, He was in great pain, and He cried out to God, just like you and I would, but He knew what He was doing had to be done for you and me.

He even had to look down and see the soldiers gambling for His clothes. That must have made Him feel even worse. They were at His feet, but they didn’t even know He was the Savior. He didn’t scold them. He didn’t cry out in anguish. He wanted them to know the One whose clothes they were throwing the dice for would come back to give them another chance.

Think of His arms spread out across the cross. Open arms. Arms that will hold you and show you love when we are in heaven.

Think even deeper about a mother watching her son die. Having Mary watch Him die had to cause Jesus another level of pain—perhaps even worse than any whippings or the nails driven through His hands and feet. He gave her one final look and then He said good-bye, handing her over to John’s care. Think of what Mary went through right at the moment He said, “It is finished.” Her son was dead, and she had to watch Him slowly fade away from her.

One final gesture. One more time of showing us how much He loved us. One last effort to tell us to seek Him so we can be with Him in heaven. After all, He died for us so we wouldn’t have to feel the pain. It is that simple. He went through all the torture, pain, aloneness, fear, for each one of us.

The next time you see a cross around someone’s neck or see one on top of a church, think of what Jesus went through so you can have eternal life. Try to see Him on that cross, with the crown of thorns on his head and the crimson blood flowing down His face. He is looking at you, and wants you to know that it is OK. He wants you to know that He did this for you, so that you will have eternal life. It should give you a much stronger feeling of what the cross stands for.

 

This is love: not that we loved God, but the he loves us and

sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 4:10

 

Further adventures

Take time each day to thank God for sending His only Son to die for you on the cross. Start out every prayer time, or devotional time, praising God for what He has done for you. The whole meaning of Christianity started with the cross. Think about how the love Jesus flowed out for you through His blood on the cross.

 

Something to ponder

Isn’t it funny how some people wear the cross and never know what it means?

(Excerpt from: Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.)

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Running From God Only leads to a Dead End

 

 

If You Are Going the Wrong Way,

God Allows U-Turns

 

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out,

that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.

Acts 3:19

 

Time is always ticking away! In my home we have a battery-operated clock that makes a loud ticking noise for every second of the day. The clock had been right at my computer desk and I could hear it as I worked. It made me think that my life was slowly going by. What have I done with my life? My life was ticking away, and I could see (and hear) each second go by.

The clock got moved into the utility room, but not before its cadence of marking time prompted me to do a “bed check” of my life. Bed checks are something that all military people understand. As you sleep, the barrack sergeant comes through and makes sure everyone is in bed—to make sure everything was OK.

So now every day I do a bed check to see if I am OK. It is so easy to “slide” if I don’t constantly check up on myself.

We tend to get all fired up about our commitment to God, even go to the church altar for prayer. We have a close encounter and are very happy. Life is good and we’ll serve God forever.

Then we get very busy and miss a few Sundays at church. Bible study gets scheduled on the evening all of our friends get together to play Bunco or go bowling—or whatever. We rush out of the house in the morning and collapse into a chair when we get home at night. There’s just no time for reading the Bible and praying.

Eventually, we fail “bed check.” We get wrapped up in our own world and get in touch with God only when there is a crisis. He will still be there to help, but our lives have lost their real meaning. We have allowed ourselves to go into a spiritual twilight zone.

Time is ticking away. There is no way to buy it back. Once it is gone, it is gone forever. But as long as God gives us another breath, it is not too late to turn around and get back into the loving arms of God. Our God is an awesome God. He loves us very much, and He will be there to accept us in whatever state we have allowed ourselves to lapse into.

As we get back into the center of His love and try to walk in His path, we will have done a spiritual U-turn.

 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

 

I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Luke 15:7

 

Further adventures

Do your own bed check. Think about the direction you are going. Do you need to make a U-turn? God allows you to get back in His love any time you want to seek Him more. His love is everlasting. He never forgets you. He never turns His back on you. After all, He even knows every hair on your head doesn’t He? Make that big turn and drive (or dive) into the loving arms of your heavenly Father.

 

Something to ponder

Isn’t it funny that if we confess our sins to God, He is faithful and just enough to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong?

(Excerpt from: Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World. Cahpter 43)