Violence in Military Marriages is far Too common, and Needs to Stop.

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Military news….

The last living WWII Medal of Honor recipient has died

Hershel “Woody” Williams was 98.

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Air Force selects new helmet to replace the one pilots have loved to hate since the 1980s

The Air Force picked a new helmet that could keep fixed-wing aircrew members more comfortable and injury-free.

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The US military is the only thing stopping China from swallowing Taiwan whole

As China steps up its rhetoric against Taiwan, lessons must be learned from the Russia-Ukraine conflict.

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Social media can be a weapon, and it’s time US troops get trained on it

Leaders need to be taught the risks and rewards of social media in a new era of information warfare.

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Russian boat reportedly sunk while bringing supplies to Black Sea island made famous by Ukrainian guards

A Russian military tugboat carrying a surface-to-air missile launcher to Snake Island in the Black Sea sank after two Ukrainian missiles struck it, Kyiv announced Friday.

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Endless shelling and dead soldiers: A vicious artillery war spreads in Ukraine

It’s a pitiless artillery war, perhaps not seen since WWI, involving less strategy than slugfest, both sides lob barrage and counter-barrage over a see-sawing front line and hope to still be standing when they pulverize the other side into submission or withdrawal.

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US and NATO seen in more favorable light abroad as world sours on Putin, survey finds

A median of 65% of those polled across 11 alliance member countries held favorable views of NATO, compared with 26% having negative views, Pew said.

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Here is another excerpt from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life. This is one aspect of the military people take for granted. However, they can’t forget it because it impacts their whole family.

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Violence in Military Marriages

In the military it is all too common that domestic violence raises its ugly head. The spouse that is left behind usually gets the brunt of it. Some signs that you may be one of those victims are:

  • Are you slowly, helplessly letting the continuous grip of despair come over you?
  • Are you pounded by guilt others have placed on you like the waves hitting the shores on the Oregon coast?
  • Does your marriage feel dead or burnt out?
  • Have you cried so much that the reservoirs for your eyes have dried up?
  • Do you fear the times when your spouse is coming home?
  • Do you feel it is better to remain silent than to say anything at all?
  • When you do speak, are you chastised or even beaten?

If you face any of these situations, you are in a domestic violence trap. Domestic violence sucks the joy out of anyone. You shouldn’t be like a bobble-head doll and let someone slap you around until you nod the way they want you to.

Angry people want to see how powerful they are.

Loving people want you to see how powerful you are.

Chief Red Eagle

His statement is so true. Angry people want to crash the hopes of those around them. They want to crush their dreams. They have to be in control. They seek power and seek submission from others.

Let’s look at what we can do to try to even the playing field in a marriage, military or otherwise.

Things that hurt a marriage can be:

  1. Making your spouse look bad in public. This can happen a lot in the military because there are a lot of functions that require their personnel to come with a spouse, and this seems to be a prime place to show others who is the boss.
  2. Putting coal in those angry snowballs you throw. Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can destroy me. So many times violence starts from a shouting match where one spouse is calling the other horrible names.
  3. Using threatening statements like, “I am leaving for good,” is so hurting that the other spouse will give in and allow the horrible dream to continue.
  4. Using absolute words like “always” and “never” when you describe something your spouse does or doesn’t do can crush their heart. Saying, “You always cook the wrong food,” or “You never keep the house clean enough,” is very degrading and harmful to the marriage.

One thing I’ve noticed when someone says they have a perfect marriage is that it is easy to see that one of them is in complete control. Feelings are not allowed. The outward appearance can be deceiving. If one spouse is always quiet and you seldom hear a word from them, it is often a bad sign. Silence is a deal breaker in most marriages.

If you are a victim, or even the aggressor, you need to change the path that you’re going down. You need to do a U-turn and go back to when you both were madly in love.

Have you ever noticed in the western movies when a cowboy has ridden his horse for a while he then stops, turns around, and then looks back? Why do they do that?

They do it because the trail looks different looking back than when they rode over it. It is a way to know your way back if you need to go that way again.

If you’re in the middle of a domestic violence situation, you need to look back and find your way back to where you both where truly in love.

One thing to remember is that when you first married you thought your spouse was nearly 100 percent awesome, and you knew the other amount was under construction.

Here is a big secret. (Now don’t tell anyone.) If we spent more time acting like we were still courting our spouses long after the marriage takes place, there would be less divorces and domestic violence in this world.

We need to keep forging ahead to find new ways to make things work for us. It’s like a river that reaches places the beginning of the river never knew. There will be new paths that we have never been on, and there will be walls we have never faced. But like that same river that meanders around obstacles, we have to find ways to go through, around, or under those walls to keep the home fires burning.

We need to quit looking for the bad in our spouse. It is like looking for weeds instead of enjoying all the flowers around them.

We must allow our spouse to become. By that I mean like when a caterpillar goes completely into a cocoon and is stripped of all form; yet it is changed into a beautiful butterfly. People are like that.

We also need to God in our lives. We need to have Him heal the open wounds of the heart and exchange the horrible looks on our faces with a smile. He can do that if we allow Him to.

If both spouses let go of their own desires and allow God to guide their lives, love will automatically overflow from each them. Of course, we know that love conquers everything.

If you are a victim, get help from the proper sources in the appendix. If you are the aggressor, do the same. There are anger management sources in the back. 

IWILL

Domestic violence is very much in the minds of all people these days because of the tremendous exposure it is getting in professional athletics. Way too many sports figures have made headlines because of domestic violence. The subject is now out in the open for all to think about in their own lives.

I agree that as military, you are living a regimented and strict life you have to obey every day. But there are no excuses to bring it home and use it on your spouse.

Use any resources you can to end the terror and humiliation of domestic violence.

Think about this

Isn’t it sad how we allow others to dictate our lives to us when we are capable of much more?

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Checking in on you. How are you doing? Is everything going OK, or are you fighting back memories?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 15,219 Veterans on this site who have your back.

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If you are battling mentally, but you are losing, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up.

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Ukrainian strikes against Russian vessels are more than just lucky hits

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Military news…

Soldier who ran into burning helicopter in Vietnam War honored with street name

Sgt. Gary McKiddy was a member of the 1st Squadron, 9th Calvary Regiment, 1st Calvary Division, when he was killed in action May 6, 1970, at age 20 in Cambodia after pulling fellow soldier Spc. Jim Skaggs from a burning helicopter.

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The Navy is unprepared to fight in two conflicts at once with current fleet size, the service’s top officer tells senators
The current fleet of about 298 ships “is not sized to handle two simultaneous conflicts,” Adm. Mike Gilday, the chief of naval operations, said during a hearing of the Senate Armed Services Committee.

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Ukrainian strikes against Russian vessels are more than just lucky hits

The destruction of at least eight Russian vessels in recent weeks points to an emerging strategic effort to break a Black Sea blockade that is strangling the Ukrainian economy.


North Korea fires 3 ballistic missiles off its eastern coast, South’s military says

North Korea launched three short-range ballistic missiles off its eastern coast on Thursday, according to South Korean military officials.

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Finland will apply to join NATO in decision welcomed by US and allies

Finland’s announcement of its intent to join NATO, prompted by Russia’s war on Ukraine, reverses Finland’s quasi-neutral status, which dates to the Cold War.

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US intelligence officials warn of prolonged war in Ukraine as Russia expands territorial goals
Fighting in Ukraine will be “significant” in the coming months as Russian President Vladimir Putin sets his sights beyond conquering the eastern Donbas region to building a land bridge across the entire Ukrainian Black Sea coast, Director of National Intelligence Avril Haines told the Senate Armed Services Committee.

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Here is another “interview” with WWII veteran. I sat down to interview him, and after the first question, he never stopped talking.

I sat down with WWII veteran Bob Kosta, who is still alive at 97 years old recently, and had a very pleasant surprise. After I asked him one question, he talked for an hour about his experiences:

What rank did you have?

CPL.

I was sent to France to fight in the war with Germany. On the way there our ship’s propellers broke down, and we were dead in the water. There were German subs in the area. We were very lucky to get the propellers fixed before we were spotted. (Near death experience # 1)

Once we landed we pushed our way into the center of France.

While we were maneuvering we came across a cave full of Russian lady’s, who were hiding from the Germans. If they would have been found, they all would have been killed. We got them to safety.

Then at another spot we were pinned down by enemy fire. A buddy and I could only find one spot to hunker down. It was in a furrow. Whereas trenches are over six feet deep. a furrow is only about 12 inches deep, so some of your body was still sticking up. My buddy and I figured we were goners at that time.

Then we heard some equipment making noise behind us. It was two tanks. They came over the top of both of us and they opened the hatch and pulled us in. (Near Death Experience # 2.)

Then we came to some concentration camps. One was full of military people. We set them free. We also came to another centration camp full of Jews. We set them free too.

At another time our vehicle was lost. We tried to find our convoy, and saw one up ahead that we got in behind a followed. After a while we realized it was a German convoy, and exited left. (Near death experience # 3)

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Talk about a wild ride! Bob is a hero in my book. A true greatest generation person. Come back often, because I have at least two other WWII interviews. The both had near death experiences as well. Better yet…go to the top of this page and click on Subscribe. When you all future posts will come directly to you inbox.

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This Military Appreciation Month, I hope you will take an extra minute to recognize the sacrifices made by our Nation’s service members.

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Checking in on you. How are you doing? Is everything going OK, or are you struggling?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 14,700 veterans on this site who have your back.

Here is what I am asking you to do…please share this site with as many other veterans as you can. It has helped so many.

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If you are battling mentally, but you are losing, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

_______________________________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.