Category: marriage

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He Who Angers You Controls You

I have been sharing excerpts from my book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.” I will be sharing Chapter three today.
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Chapter 3

He Who Angers You Controls You

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brotherwill be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother,“Raca” [a term of contempt], is answerable to the Sanhedrin[body of authorities]. But anyone who says,
“You fool!” will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Matthew 5:22

I have “a short fuse.” I can be easily offended and strike back with anger. As the years have gone by I realize that anger doesn’t solve anything. It only raises my blood pressure, and allows the other person to win. They get what they want. They got me frustrated and not thinking clearly.

I have finally gotten smarter and have learned to control my feelings to the point where I still may be upset about what has happened, but I don’t let it cause me to verbally strike out toward the other person. I don’t “count to ten.” I turn to God to give me strength to overcome my own feelings and think about the consequences for me if I fail in my quest to help others with their anger. I also ask God to help me have a calm spirit, and an understanding heart. I’m not being a good example to my children—or anyone else—if I don’t.

The following story makes the point about anger very clearly. Got a hammer?
There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him to hammer a nail into the back fence every time he lost control. The first day the boy drove 37 nails into the fence. Then he gradually discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. His father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father led his son to the fence. “You have done well, but look at the holes in the fence,” he said. “When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like the nail holes. You can put a knife in a person and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry,’ the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.”

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.
Psalm 37:7

A fool shows his annoyance [temper] at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.
Proverbs 12:16

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Ephesians 4:26

Further Adventures
How do you deal with anger? Do you have loved ones who can’t control their feelings some times? I have been a victim of losing my temper sometimes. I can’t put a bunch of nails in my fence out of anger because Charlotte would want me be put in a safe place so I wouldn’t be harmful to anyone—or the fence—again.

But think about this story each time you get angry. Tell it to your loved ones when they get upset. This is an easy story to remember. It is very short, but its impact could be tremendous.

Something to Ponder
Isn’t it funny that when we say kind words to someone they say kind words back?

Remember: Never, ever, give up!

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Everything That Can go Wrong, Probably Will

I am inviting you to sign-up for the RSS feed of this site. I have a blog at: www.dailysignsofhope.com, and it is getting over 30 people a day signing up for the RSS feed there. I would like to start that trend here as well.

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I have a brain storm going, and it hurts! I am thinking of giving away a free book to someone who signs-up for the RSS feed through a drawing. I am guessing I will need to have at least 10 people sign-up before I pull out a name.

What do you think?

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Excerpt # 2 is chapter two from the book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.” This book reaches out to those who may suffer from anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, hopelessness, and the many other usual suspects.

You can order the book right from this site. Just click on the bookstore at the top of this page.

The book is on sale from right now until Christmas. In the retail stores the price is $19.99, but on this site it is only $15.99, and the shipping has been cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00.

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Chapter 2

 

 

Everything that Can Go Wrong Probably Will

 

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;

 he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:4

 

 

Murphy must have been a sad soul. We all live by the laws he created for us. It seems that we blame everything that goes wrong on Murphy’s Law.

You’ve had those days. You get up in the morning and start out happy as a clam. (Not sure how happy that is.) You have some errands to do, and you begin to do them.

You run out of gas, or you have a flat tire. You forgot your grocery list. The item you thought was on sale wasn’t. There is an accident on the freeway, and you are stuck for hours.

Ever had those kinds of days? Let me tell you about mine! I had volunteered to help my son Greg out when he vacationed inDisneylandwith my granddaughter Molly. I told him I would pick up his mail every day, put the garbage cans back on Tuesday, and feed Charlie the cat all week.

Everything went well Sunday through Tuesday. But on Wednesday, the worst thing happened. I lost the door key. I had it in my summer shorts when I went to shower. I took off the shorts, showered, and then put on a clean pair of shorts. I left the house and headed over to my son’s house.

Charlie was waiting for me, and already had started his purring sound to let me know he was glad to see me. I got the mail, walked up to the door and reached into my pocket to get the key. It wasn’t there. Charlie was looking up at me looking like, “Why are you taking so long to open the door?”

“Sorry Charlie,” I muttered, sounding like a tuna commercial. “I have to go back home and get the key.” He wasn’t very happy with me as I walked to my car. I felt badly.

I got home and looked everywhere for the key. It was nowhere in sight. I even dumped out the hamper where the dirty clothes were. Zilch! Notta! Ouch!

I remembered that we had a bunch of extra keys in the desk drawer that had no names on them. I dug all of them out and drove back to my son’s house. You guessed it: None of them worked!

I was desperate by this time. I thought that I might have to call a locksmith, or call my son and have him Fed Ex his keys to me.

I prayed for help from God and immediately thought of calling my wife Charlotte to see if she had any ideas. (This was my close encounter with God.) I probably sounded shook up when she answered the phone—maybe because my only words were, “Now what do I do?”

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I’ve lost the key to the house, and the cat food is on the inside.”

Without hesitating, she suggested, “Go to the grocery store and buy another bag of cat food and feed Charlie outside. He’s an outside cat anyway. Greg can make a new key when he gets home.”

Charlie was really mad at me when I left the second time without feeding him. I returned with a tasty tuna and salmon meal (yum). He gobbled it up and was purring again when I left.

Of course, going to the grocery store was the obvious choice. (You realize, of course, that I actually knew it all along. I was just testingCharlotte.) The important thing was that the answer came after I had prayed for help.Charlottewas the messenger, but God answered the prayer.

God can answer prayers in many ways. It can be directly, or it can be through someone else.Charlottewas my answer to prayer. She knew the easy solution I needed, but I wasn’t able to think of.

Do you call on God to help you when you have a problem, or do you panic like I did? (God has a speed dial you know.) At least, I knew I couldn’t do it on my own and turned to God for help. The calming feeling that came as soon as I finished praying was very reassuring.

It was in God’s hands, and I knew something good would happen. Charlie got fed, and I have a whole bag of cat food for future lockouts.

Don’t let obstacles stop you. Turn your problems over to God. Let Him figure out a solution. It may not come as fast as mine did, but He will work it out the way He knows is best for you.

Since I am on the subject of prayer, please don’t just call on God when there is a problem. Talk to God every day. He loves to hear from you.

I know it is hard to pray when you are at work. It is hard to pray while you are driving. But you know what? When you are driving might be the best time to pray. It is when you are likely to be tense and need a calming spirit. A guy is blowing his horn behind you. Pray seeking patience because you do not know what is going on in this man’s life. He may want to get home because his wife called and is ready to have their first baby. Wouldn’t you be honking?

Prayer should be done without ceasing. Pray each and every day. Use it to praise God. Use it to thank Him for your good health. Use it to pray for peace. Whatever is on your mind, God wants to hear from you. It should be like He is sitting in the room with you. Carry on a conversation with Him.

 

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6–7

 

Further Adventures

Have you gone along in life thinking that everything is fine, only to have a day that makes you realize that the world is not always a rose garden? First of all, remember that we can’t look at everything through rose-colored glasses.

Second, when a bad day comes knocking at your door like it was your long-lost relative, make sure it understands that it can only stay for that day. Then boot it out at the end of the day by giving it over to God in prayer. You should never let your bad days stay longer than they should.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny that we always have a direct line to God, but we sometimes think the connection is dead?

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Take Inventory of Your Life. What Do you See?

I want to let you know that I will  be doing an interview with a guest author coming up soon. His name is Thomas Blubaugh. He is a novelist, and has some interesting thoughts on writing.

If you sign-up for the RSS feed you will know when I am doing the interview. You just go to the top and click on the RSS icon. Thank you to all of you who have signed up so far. It is important to have followers so that you are ranked higher by the Google Search Rankings.

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The countdown is on for my new adventure of signing my book: “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.” There are just 20 day left until I will be at the Oregon State Fair, and the Oregon Author’s table. The fair runs from August 26th- September 5th. If you live near come by and see me. I would love to chat with you.

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What can we do as parents to be a good example to our children? We should realize that everything we do is being watch by them.

We are living in an, “Monkey see, monkey do,” world. If you are a kind and understanding parent, your children will probably be kind and understand. If you drink, your children will probably drink. If you take drugs, your children will probably take drugs. I think you get the picture.

Take an inventory of your life. What do you see? Is your life one you would be glad for your children to have?

I wasn’t always the perfect parent. Sometimes far from it, but I stuck to my Christian principles, and raised children that did the same. All three of my children are Christians, and they married Christian spouses.

You can say my job is done here on earth, but we are to be examples until we take our last breath.

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“Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,” is a book I wrote sharing some of the, not so wonderful, sides of my life, and how I coped.

I was once sitting in my Explorer and deciding if I wanted to check out of this hotel called earth. the book talks about that, and gives hope to those who may be near the same spot. It also helps those who may be struggling with, anxiety, fear, depression, self-doubt, addictions, hopelessness, and many other of the usual suspects.

You may fit into one of those afflictions, or know someone who is. This books has been helpful to hundreds of people who have sent me emails, called me, or met me in person telling me it helped them cope, and changed their lives.

The book is selling for $19.99 on the retail stores, but if you order off of this site, you will get the special price of $15.99. The shipping has been cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00.

When you order you will also receive a copy with an autograph plus a personal note.

If you are interested, click on the tab at the top of this page that says, “bookstore.” you will then see a description, and a copy of the cover. If you also want to see some great endorsements, click on…you got it…. “endorsements,” at the top as well. I hope you will at least check it out, and see why “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,”  has helped so many people.