Violence in Military Marriages is far Too common, and Needs to Stop.

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Military news….

The last living WWII Medal of Honor recipient has died

Hershel “Woody” Williams was 98.

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Air Force selects new helmet to replace the one pilots have loved to hate since the 1980s

The Air Force picked a new helmet that could keep fixed-wing aircrew members more comfortable and injury-free.

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The US military is the only thing stopping China from swallowing Taiwan whole

As China steps up its rhetoric against Taiwan, lessons must be learned from the Russia-Ukraine conflict.

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Social media can be a weapon, and it’s time US troops get trained on it

Leaders need to be taught the risks and rewards of social media in a new era of information warfare.

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Russian boat reportedly sunk while bringing supplies to Black Sea island made famous by Ukrainian guards

A Russian military tugboat carrying a surface-to-air missile launcher to Snake Island in the Black Sea sank after two Ukrainian missiles struck it, Kyiv announced Friday.

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Endless shelling and dead soldiers: A vicious artillery war spreads in Ukraine

It’s a pitiless artillery war, perhaps not seen since WWI, involving less strategy than slugfest, both sides lob barrage and counter-barrage over a see-sawing front line and hope to still be standing when they pulverize the other side into submission or withdrawal.

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US and NATO seen in more favorable light abroad as world sours on Putin, survey finds

A median of 65% of those polled across 11 alliance member countries held favorable views of NATO, compared with 26% having negative views, Pew said.

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Here is another excerpt from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life. This is one aspect of the military people take for granted. However, they can’t forget it because it impacts their whole family.

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Violence in Military Marriages

In the military it is all too common that domestic violence raises its ugly head. The spouse that is left behind usually gets the brunt of it. Some signs that you may be one of those victims are:

  • Are you slowly, helplessly letting the continuous grip of despair come over you?
  • Are you pounded by guilt others have placed on you like the waves hitting the shores on the Oregon coast?
  • Does your marriage feel dead or burnt out?
  • Have you cried so much that the reservoirs for your eyes have dried up?
  • Do you fear the times when your spouse is coming home?
  • Do you feel it is better to remain silent than to say anything at all?
  • When you do speak, are you chastised or even beaten?

If you face any of these situations, you are in a domestic violence trap. Domestic violence sucks the joy out of anyone. You shouldn’t be like a bobble-head doll and let someone slap you around until you nod the way they want you to.

Angry people want to see how powerful they are.

Loving people want you to see how powerful you are.

Chief Red Eagle

His statement is so true. Angry people want to crash the hopes of those around them. They want to crush their dreams. They have to be in control. They seek power and seek submission from others.

Let’s look at what we can do to try to even the playing field in a marriage, military or otherwise.

Things that hurt a marriage can be:

  1. Making your spouse look bad in public. This can happen a lot in the military because there are a lot of functions that require their personnel to come with a spouse, and this seems to be a prime place to show others who is the boss.
  2. Putting coal in those angry snowballs you throw. Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can destroy me. So many times violence starts from a shouting match where one spouse is calling the other horrible names.
  3. Using threatening statements like, “I am leaving for good,” is so hurting that the other spouse will give in and allow the horrible dream to continue.
  4. Using absolute words like “always” and “never” when you describe something your spouse does or doesn’t do can crush their heart. Saying, “You always cook the wrong food,” or “You never keep the house clean enough,” is very degrading and harmful to the marriage.

One thing I’ve noticed when someone says they have a perfect marriage is that it is easy to see that one of them is in complete control. Feelings are not allowed. The outward appearance can be deceiving. If one spouse is always quiet and you seldom hear a word from them, it is often a bad sign. Silence is a deal breaker in most marriages.

If you are a victim, or even the aggressor, you need to change the path that you’re going down. You need to do a U-turn and go back to when you both were madly in love.

Have you ever noticed in the western movies when a cowboy has ridden his horse for a while he then stops, turns around, and then looks back? Why do they do that?

They do it because the trail looks different looking back than when they rode over it. It is a way to know your way back if you need to go that way again.

If you’re in the middle of a domestic violence situation, you need to look back and find your way back to where you both where truly in love.

One thing to remember is that when you first married you thought your spouse was nearly 100 percent awesome, and you knew the other amount was under construction.

Here is a big secret. (Now don’t tell anyone.) If we spent more time acting like we were still courting our spouses long after the marriage takes place, there would be less divorces and domestic violence in this world.

We need to keep forging ahead to find new ways to make things work for us. It’s like a river that reaches places the beginning of the river never knew. There will be new paths that we have never been on, and there will be walls we have never faced. But like that same river that meanders around obstacles, we have to find ways to go through, around, or under those walls to keep the home fires burning.

We need to quit looking for the bad in our spouse. It is like looking for weeds instead of enjoying all the flowers around them.

We must allow our spouse to become. By that I mean like when a caterpillar goes completely into a cocoon and is stripped of all form; yet it is changed into a beautiful butterfly. People are like that.

We also need to God in our lives. We need to have Him heal the open wounds of the heart and exchange the horrible looks on our faces with a smile. He can do that if we allow Him to.

If both spouses let go of their own desires and allow God to guide their lives, love will automatically overflow from each them. Of course, we know that love conquers everything.

If you are a victim, get help from the proper sources in the appendix. If you are the aggressor, do the same. There are anger management sources in the back. 

IWILL

Domestic violence is very much in the minds of all people these days because of the tremendous exposure it is getting in professional athletics. Way too many sports figures have made headlines because of domestic violence. The subject is now out in the open for all to think about in their own lives.

I agree that as military, you are living a regimented and strict life you have to obey every day. But there are no excuses to bring it home and use it on your spouse.

Use any resources you can to end the terror and humiliation of domestic violence.

Think about this

Isn’t it sad how we allow others to dictate our lives to us when we are capable of much more?

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Checking in on you. How are you doing? Is everything going OK, or are you fighting back memories?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 15,219 Veterans on this site who have your back.

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If you are battling mentally, but you are losing, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up.

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One of The hardest Things to do in the Military is to Keep Marriages Working Smoothly

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Military news…

US special operations presses on in Ukraine amid threat of Russian invasion
U.S. special operators are continuing with a mission to build up an elite fighting force in Ukraine, military officials said, even as Russia threatens invasion.

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US forces in Germany contend with soaring COVID numbers as country reaches new pandemic record

In the Kaiserslautern area, 68 new infections among U.S. forces were confirmed last week, which is believed to be the highest on record, according to a report.

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Celebrated Tuskegee Airman Charles McGee dies at 102

Charles McGee, a Tuskegee Airman who flew 409 fighter combat missions over three wars and later helped to bring attention to the Black pilots who had battled racism at home to fight for freedom abroad, died Sunday.

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France gives its highest honor to 100-year-old WWII paratrooper from Florida who fought on D-Day

France officially thanked Earl Mills at his farm in Live Oak, Fla., almost 78 years after he parachuted from a U.S. Army plane over Normandy, part of a wave of Allied soldiers determined to liberate the country and the rest of Europe from the threat of the Nazi regime.

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Amid Labor Shortage, Army Offers Largest Enlistment Bonus Ever

The Army offered $50,000 enlistments bonuses to incentivize recruits to join amid the labor shortage aggravated by the pandemic.

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U.S. Considers Backing an Insurgency if Russia Invades Ukraine

Senior Biden administration officials warned that the United States could throw assets, including offensive weapons, intelligence, and cyber behind a Ukrainian insurgency if Russia invades Ukraine.

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Milley, Berger, Test Positive For COVID-19

Army Gen. Mark Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and Commandant of the Marine Corps, Gen. David Berger, tested positive for COVID-19 and were experiencing mild symptoms.

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Here is another excerpt from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

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Marriage is not a Four Letter Word

Sometimes the military life has its low moments and one of them is how a marriage is in danger whenever a soldier is deployed. It seems that the spouse that has been left behind seeks companionship, or feels alone too much. Even the soldier deployed seems distant and has their minds on other things instead of connections with family.

This is not the fault of either party. In the military people are separated many times. It takes a strong commitment on the part of both people involved to make the marriage last.

This certainly isn’t a perfect marriage. There is the saying, “A ‘perfect marriage,’ is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.”

It takes a lot of sacrifice from both people to keep the, “home fires burning.”

If you are in the same boat as many soldiers or veterans are, try to check out your priorities. Is your marriage important to you? Do you feel that your spouse is worth the effort to learn how to compromise?

Most of you say a quick yes, because your spouse is the father/mother of your children, if you have any. Think of the children. They need both parents. The rate of divorces in this world is alarming.

When I retired from teaching I had classes where over 50% of the children in my classes where from broken homes.

Yes, it is hard when you are separated from your family. I have a son who was a career soldier, and he was separated from his wife for two tours of Iraq, and many other missions while he was in the army. He is still very happily married to his wife, and they are closer now then they have ever been.

It isn’t easy to go through separations, but if you really want your marriage to remain solid, it has to start with you. You have to go the extra mile to reach out to your loved one. They will try as well if you show real commitment to them each and every day.

Don’t give up on your marriage. Work hard at keeping it going. Seek counseling, or take steps to show your spouse that they are the most important person in your world. They will believe you and return the love.

IWILL

There are times when we feel that it just may not be worth it to try something. We feel that it is too much work, and may be better to just move on. Marriage is not one of those things. It should be a lifelong commitment. You made the vows, “Until death do us part.” Those aren’t said for a joke. They mean your marriage is forever. You need to find ways to make it work. You will be much happier if you do.

Think about this

Isn’t it sad how so many people just seem to throw away their marriage over a simple argument, or event?

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Come back often to see other excerpts. Better yet…go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do lal future posts will go directly to your inbox.

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Checking in on you…How are you doing? Are you struggling?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 13,660 fellow veterans here who have your back.

If you are battling mentally, because of your love for others, but it isn’t working, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will no hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

____________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

Happiness in the Military is Sometimes Hard to Find

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

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Military news…

“I got an award and I don’t even know if I deserve it … I’d give it back in a second if I could get the soldiers back.” That’s from Sgt. Maj. of the Army Michael Grinston, who spoke about the hard losses he and his men went through together in Iraq, where Grinston earned a reputation as both a bullet magnet and a true follower of the Ranger Creed.

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Speaking of space, did you know that the first song performed live in space was ‘Jingle Bells?’ The first performers were two U.S. military pilots who wanted to troll Mission Control with some Christmas merriment.

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The military’s efforts to weed out white supremacists and other extremist groups are finally showing some teeth now that the Pentagon has expanded what constitutes “active participation” in extremist activities,.

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Air Force Discharges 27 For Refusal to Get COVID Vaccine

The Air Force has discharged 27 people for refusing to get the COVID-19 vaccine, making them what officials believe are the first service members to be removed for disobeying the vaccination mandate.

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Female Ex-pilot in Afghan Military Surfaces in U.S., Defying Rumors That She Had Been Killed 

An Afghan woman who was one of the few female pilots in her country’s air force corrected a rumor that she had been killed by the Taliban, saying she’s resettled on the West Coast.

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103 Marines Already Separated For Refusing COVID-19 Vaccine

At least 103 Marines have been separated from the Marine Corps for refusing to get vaccinated against COVID-19, the service said Thursday.

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The Pentagon Doesn’t Know How Many Hazing Incidents Happen in the Military, Watchdog Finds

Five years after a Muslim-American recruit died by suicide days after joining Marine Corps boot camp, launching the discovery of hazing scandals, the Pentagon still doesn’t keenly track abuse in the ranks, a government watchdog found.

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Sharing another excerpt from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the MIlitary: In and Out of the trenches of Life.

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Happiness is a Choice

It is a well-known fact that most people are as happy as they choose to be. People go through life allowing depression to overcome them to the point that they are incapacitated. Even presidents have trouble with depression. Can you imagine the daily stress they have? It is non- stop.

Abraham Lincoln once considered suicide, he was so depressed. One of the greatest times he remembered while was in office was when a little old lady came to see him at the White House, and gave him some cookies she had made. He thanked her, and said it was one of the greatest moments of his tenure. A very little gesture, but it brightened a person’s life that was battling depression and life in general.

Some people accept depression because they think they deserve it. They feel they have done something wrong and this is their punishment. I had some of those days myself. I often thought I must deserve this if I keep having it happen to me.

This world is not the Disney Channel anymore. It’s Law and Order. There are many battles to fight, and many fronts.

Many people try to find happiness to overcome depressions and they fail. Why?

Because so many people think a fancy car, a big house on a hill, or owning a yacht, will give them happiness, and “things,” do not give us happiness.  We also seek happiness through sexual prowess, but end up with fleeting pleasures and bitter disappointments.

We try to seek power in corporations, in government, or in their own families through excessive control, but still many are unfulfilled seeking happiness.  

What are they missing? They are missing inner peace and joy.

How do we fine that inner peace and joy? It is from the love of God who provides us with all the love and understanding we need.

While we spend time in the military, or many years afterwards, we need to know that the path to true happiness isn’t from “things” we own, or people we control, it is found through searching our own souls, and coming up with ways to reach out to those around us, and when we feel the love, they return it back to us.

That is happiness!

IWILL

I spent too many years of my life trying to do whatever I could to be accepted. I would go way out of my way to let someone know that I was a person, and needed love. What I didn’t know is that love is very powerful, and if you just share that love with someone they will return it and provide you with all the happiness you need.

Think about this

Isn’t it funny how we sometimes think we aren’t accepted and it is because we didn’t ask?

There will be a few more excerpts coming up so keep coming back to check them out. Better yet… go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox.

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Bed check. How are you doing? Do you have dreams about your service time? Are they nightmares?

FEAR NOT!!

There are over 13,530 fellow veterans subscribed to this site who have your back.

If the dreams just too much for you right now, GET HELP!

Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until the know you are OK.

1-800-272-8255..texting 838255.

__________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

___________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.