Spouses Are a Critical part of the Military life

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Military news…

The U.S. military is looking for ways to make night vision goggles even more badass, like by making them as lightweight and compact as a pair of regular eyeglasses.

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There’s an abandoned Air Force base with underground tunnels for sale on Facebook right now.

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Two Marines died and 17 were injured in a vehicle rollover accident on a highway near Camp Lejeune, North Carolina on Wednesday.

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“It is still hard to say goodbye to a unit that has so completely defined the experience of being a Marine.” That’s from Marine Lt. Gen. James Bierman, who wrote a memo about the pending deactivation of the legendary 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marines.

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A soldier was beheaded at Fort Bragg over a year ago. The Army still doesn’t know why.

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Russian troops move into Belarus, DOD officials weigh options should Ukraine be invaded
A State Department official said Tuesday that an invasion of Ukraine could now come from its northern border with Belarus after Russian troops were moved into that country for military drills.

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Military services enlisted fewer but better qualified recruits at outset of coronavirus pandemic in 2020, study finds

The Pentagon took in fewer recruits in 2020 than in prior years as the coronavirus pandemic swept across the globe, but those accepted into the military were generally of higher quality than in recent years.

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British C-17s carrying arms to Ukraine fly around German airspace

British C-17 cargo planes carrying anti-tank missile systems have been dispatched to Ukraine, bypassing German airspace in the process in an apparent effort to expedite the delivery of the hardware.

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Here is a very vital chapter from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

Military Spouses Have a Huge Task

“Military counts on spouses more than any other job.”

Chief of Staff of the Army, General Ray Odierno (Retired)

One of the toughest situations in the military has to be for a spouse who is left behind during a time of deployment.

I was single when I was deployed to Korea. I was married for only a couple of months before I got out of the military, so I don’t have firsthand experience about this. But I have read many different spouses’ thoughts regarding how it was for them to be at home alone to take on all the tasks by themselves. This chapter will discuss their thoughts and hopefully give you some insight into the world of being a spouse at home during a deployment.

I guess the most important place to start is noting that there are both male and female spouses who are left behind to “hold down the fort,” while their loved one is gone. There are many wives/mothers who are deployed as well as husbands/fathers.

I have found that it may be a little harder for the man who is left behind for a couple of reasons. The most glaring one is the friend circle, or the lack of it. Men often don’t have a very big circle of other male spouses of deployed wives to share their struggles and frustrations with.

They also have to face the few (who, in my opinion, are uneducated) who look down on a man who stays behind and isn’t on the front lines himself. They are ignorant of the fact that in the real world many mothers go off to work and the dad is “Mr. Mom.”

There is no shame in this anymore than in a wife staying home and caring for the children and household.

In general what follows is what either male or female parents go through to survive in the home environment.

It seems they are always at their limit. They need to get kids off to school. Need to clean the house. Take time to do the bills. They are off to the grocery store. Pick up the kids at school. Take them to soccer practice. Pick them up afterwards. Prepare all the meals. Take out the trash. Do the laundry, and put the kids to bed.

I could list many other things the at-home spouse must do, but what I have written so far leads to a very stressful day. As a matter of fact it can be downright overwhelming.

As if all of these concerns weren’t enough, they also worry about their spouse who may be in harm’s way. They worry about enough money coming in to support the family. They may have to get jobs to help out, which leads to daycare issues or older children being home alone at times.

Speaking of the children, they seem strong. They seem to be coping better than the spouses in most cases. However, there are the times they realize their other parent isn’t around and they miss them. They begin to cry and need hugs and love.

It is extremely important that there is a circle of friends for support, male or female. Those friends shouldn’t just say, “How’s your day?” and not really mean it. They need to actually want to know how your day is. They need to sit and listen when you need them.

The distance (both emotional and geographic) between them and their spouse can be very hard. There are missed moments. There are lonely nights. There are times they are angry because they have to make so many of the decisions.

Then when the spouse returns after a long deployment, the dynamics and rhythms of home life have often changed as the at-home spouse carries the load. That can make the re-introduction of the military person into the home a bit awkward.

How about when the spouse is home? Sounds like a perfect situation, except everything depends on what the military wants. It’s hard trying to plan leaves and vacations and special occasions. They often have to be postponed at a moment’s notice.

The on-duty military spouse also may have long hours, even up to 12- to 14-hour days. The family may feel as if the parent is still deployed even though he or she is home.

One of the hardest parts for a military family is the constant moving from one location to another. Every two to three years, they have to pack up everything and move. Each family member loses a circle of friends at the old duty post and then has to make new ones at the next location. This occurs many times during an active military person’s time of service.

There is also the problem of the spouse finding a job at the new duty post. With each move, the spouse has to start at the bottom at their place of employment—if they can find a job and/or are actually over-qualified for an entry-level position. Often employers don’t want to hire someone who will probably be leaving in a couple of years. Sometimes the spouse has to settle for a less-than-ideal job in order to contribute to the family’s finances. 

And when the military says it’s time to go to a new duty post, the non-military spouse is often the one to shoulder the details of the move. I can speak from personal knowledge on this since my daughter-in-law is married to my son who was an Army officer. They moved more than 15 times during his time in the military. They often had to pack up their belongings in a U-Haul and travel sometimes thousands of miles and unload at the other end. My daughter-in-law often had to find the new home before they moved and make all the arrangements. She spent endless hours cleaning, packing, and planning the trip.

One of the toughest times for the military family is the holidays. It’s hard if the family is unable to see the extended family at this time of year. And it’s doubly hard on the family if a parent is deployed. At Christmas, the kids really feel sad because Mom or Dad isn’t there to open presents with them. This is when the at-home spouse really has to be brave and do whatever they can to smooth this time over.

Trying to find happiness in a military family during deployment is tough at best, but I received a note from a woman who told me, “Other people are not responsible for your happiness.” That tough-love statement is very true. We can’t expect other people to make us happy. We need to find our own happiness, and hope that our spouses will also help us in finding that happiness.

In concluding this chapter, I want you to know that many spouses don’t cry because they are weak. They cry because they miss their spouse. Part of that is because they wake up every day wondering if their spouse is still alive.

So to all of you, who are friends and family of those in the military, be sure to tell the military person thank you, but also tell the spouse thank you. They are heroes too.

As in every walk of life, God is the constant force to turn to during stressful times. He is close and hears your cries for help. He will give you comfort, and help you through the daily trials you face.

IWILL

This chapter was one of the hardest for me to write. My heart goes out to those who are left behind. I mentioned my daughter-in-law earlier, and I must say she was an angel in disguise for my son during his military career. She never faltered. She was always by his side. She supported him 100 percent 24/7. I can speak for my son in saying that it would have been a tough road to travel if he hadn’t had her by his side, encouraging him and loving him.

Think about this Isn’t it interesting how some people go unnoticed who are really the wind beneath your wings?

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Come back often to see other excerpts. Better yet…go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do lal future posts will go directly to your inbox.

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Checking in on you…How are you doing? Are you struggling?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 13,650 fellow veterans here who have your back.

If you are battling mentally, because of your love for others, but it isn’t working, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will no hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

Military People Sometimes Can Not Find Happiness in Things

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In a bizarre propaganda video released on Monday, bare-chested North Korean troops destroy bricks and cinder blocks with their bodies; bend a metal rod with their throats and perform other nutso action movie stunts.

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“The surgeons were worn out. Many died on the operating table.” That’s from Air Force Lt. Col. Brian Desautels, who led a unit of search and rescue airmen who responded to the deadly suicide bombing and gunfight at Hamid Karzai International Airport on Aug. 26th.

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This photo of 1st Sgt. Kenneth Johnson with the Arkansas National Guard captures just how breathtakingly irritating life in the field can be. In those eyes lives the dull fatigue of putting up with the Army for far too long.

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Marine Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller was found guilty on Thursday of numerous charges in connection with his very public battle with top military and civilian leaders that began over the Afghanistan withdrawal and then morphed into a grudge match over “the system.”

“I haven’t been able to figure out how to cure suicides.” That’s from Army Chief of Staff Gen. James McConville, said that senior leaders are still struggling to address the issue as the suicide rate among active-duty soldiers reaches its highest point in years.

Soldiers will have to wait a few more months for IVAS, the Army’s new heads-up display that looks like it came straight out of the future.

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Here is another excerpt for my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the trenches of Life.

Happiness is a Choice

It is a well known fact that most people are as happy as they choose to be. People go through life allowing depression to overcome them to the point where they are incapacitated. Even presidents have trouble with depression. Can you imagine the daily stress they have? It is non-stop.

Abraham Lincoln once considered suicide, he was so depressed. One of the greatest times he remembered while in office was when a little old lady came to see him at the White House, and gave him some cookies she had made. He thanked her, and it was one of the grestest moments of his tenure. A very little gesture, but it brightened a person’s life that was battling depression in life in general.

Some people accept depression, because they think they deserve it. They they have done something wrong and this is their punishment. I had some of those days myself. I often thought, I must deserve this if it keeps happening to me.

This world is not the Disney channel anymore, it is Law and Order. There are many battles to fight on many fronts.

Many people try to find happiness to overcome depression, and they fail? Why?

Because so many people think a fancy car, a big house on the hill, or own a yacht, will give them happiness, and “things,” do not give us happiness. We also seek happiness through sexual prowess, but end up with fleeting pleasures and bitter disappointments.

We try to seek power in corporations, in government, or in our own families through excessive control, but still many are unfulfilled.

What are they missing? They are missing inner joy and peace.

How do we get that inner peace and joy? It is from the love of God who provides us with all the love and understanding we need.

While we spend time in the military, or many years afterward, we need to know that the path to true happiness isn’t for “things” we own, or people we control, it is found through searching our own souls, and coming up with the ways to reach out to those around us, and when we feel the love, they return it back to us.

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There is more to this chapter, but I suggest you buy the book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life, to be able to read the rest. The book will come out soon.

You could also keep coming back to check the excerpts out, but better yet go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do all future posts will go directly to your inbox.

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Is your life on tract to happiness? Do you have some down moments?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 13,240 fellow veterans on this site who have your back.

If you can’t find happiness…GET HELP!

Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

_____________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

Tenacles Can be Longer Than your Hope, and Suck the Life Out of You

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

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Military news…

“God needed an angel for his war, and he took the best goddamn one.” That’s from Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt. Christopher Duncan McClain, who gave a stirring speech in remembrance of Sgt. Nicole Gee, one of the 13 American service members killed in the Aug. 26 attack at Hamid Karzai International Airport in Kabul.

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“More than the physical, I carried incredible terror with every single step I took. Is the land going to blow me up?” That’s from Vietnam veteran Tim O’Brien, who wrote “The Things They Carried,” one of the most acclaimed war novels in American history.

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You’ve probably never heard of the Air Force’s 521st Air Mobility Operations Wing, but they were the unsung heroes behind the massive airlift of Afghan refugees out of Kabul that took place last month.

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Short military news report today, because I want to share with you the last part of my table of contents, from Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life:

Domestic Violence in The Military

In the Military is is far too common that domstic violence raises it ugly head.

Time Doesn’t Always heal Wounds

A bad situation is a when a friend won’t forgive you for something you didn’t know happened.

Worry is Not the Answer

Worry is not an iIlness, but it can cause illness.

Tenacles Can be Longer Than Your Hope

Life is very frustrating. It can suck the air out of you.

Had a Rough Ride?

Negative thinking goes no where but a dead end.

There is Never a Time when You Don’t Have a Choice.

“I had to do it becasue I had no Choice.” This is not true.

Military Spouses Have a Huge Task

One of the toughest tasks in the military is to be the spouse left behind during deployment.

Tragedies Come Knocking at Our Door

We never thought good could come from a tragedy.

If Only I Would Have …

We run from scary things, but we need to face them head on.

What Are You Saving Your Talents For?

You have beautiful talents you need to be using.

Move Out of your House Called Depression

The depression rate in the MIlitary is very high.

Happiness is a Choice

People are as happy as they choose to be.

We Must Always Remember the Spouses in the Military

Spouses are the backbone in the family during deployment

The Raging Battle Against PTSD

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls, one can help the other up. (Eccl. 4:9)

Are You Trying to Finish the Race With a Broken Leg?

Let the people feel the weight of who you are, and let Them deal with it.

Let’s Start a Ripple Effect

Have you ever thrown a pebble into to the lake and seen the circles form and spread out? That is the ripple effect.


That’s my story and I’m stcking to it. You have now seen all of the chapter titles from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I am hoping that some peaked your interest enough that you will want to get the book. It will be the best thing you have ever done.

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I just may ignore my publishers suffestion to stop sharing excerpts from the book. Keep coming back to see them. Better yet…

Go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do you will get all future post directly in your inbox.

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Bed check…

How is your life going brother/sister? The days are long, and the nights even longer. Do you dread trying to sleep?

FEAR NOT!!

There are over 13,050 fellow veterans here who have your back.

However, if it is just too overwhelming right now, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free nember to call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until the know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

_______________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above alll…never, ever, give up!

________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.