Category: anxiety

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I Was Considering Suicide to Check Out of This Hotel Called Earth.

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Had cataract surgery just one hour ago on my right eye. Typing with one eye for now. Lots of fun.

As a veteran, my heart breaks every time I hear about another brother or sister committing suicide. This happens 22 times everyday. Before I finish this post another one will die.

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Let me give you some back ground on my self:

I struggled often while I was deployed. I was a teenager, and missed home. I also had some buddies die, so I was on the edge, like many military personnel that are deployed.

I was in a bad situation for my mental health. When I got out and was married. Everything seem to mount up on me. I had trouble relating to my wife. I barked at family and friends.

I reached to bottom of my life on March 31st, 2001. That was the year when the Twin Towers were hit by planes. My father also died that year, and I was at my ropes end.

On April 1st (fool’s day) I couldn’t take anymore. I was in my Ford Explorer driving. I was sobbing , and it was hard to see the road. I pulled into a high school parking lot, and found the most hidden part. I was considering suicide.

I was sobbing so much that the windows were fogging up. I finally cried out to God, “I can’t take this anymore!” Then suddenly I got quiet. the windows started clearing up. There was a freshness inside my rig.

It was almost like God was saying, “It is about time you came back to me. Now let me carry you the rest of the Way.” I was stunned. I had forgotten about God, but He waited patiently for me.

I drove home and went into my office. in a drawer I saw some journals I had been writing for several years. I picked one up and started reading. I saw immediately that what I was writing was what I was going through right then.

I had wanted to write a book, but didn’t know it would be about. I kept reading more from my journals, and soon realize exactly what I should be writing about. I had been writing my hurts, and failures, but also how I overcame them. People who were hurting needed to read this book.

Each journal seemed to fit perfectly into a chapter. I kept going for almost another year to finish writing. When I did, I was out looking for a publisher. I was surprised when several were interested. It was hard to do that in this day and age.

I picked out my publisher and had the book printed.

The title of my first book is, Signs Of Hope: Ways to Survive in an unfriendly world.

That book went on to win a National Award from, The Reader’s Choice Awards. I was able to put Award winning Author on all of my books.

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Now, of course I am almost finished with my second book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I have told you in earlier posts that I have some powerful endorsements coming in for the book. I have a General. Several Colonels. A CEO for a nonprofit called Victory for Veterans. Several WWII veterans, and more.

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I encourage you to read some earlier posts. They are full of information about the book. Some endorsement are there as well.

I have a publisher interested, and I have already checked them out. I think we will be a great team. If I go with them this week, the book should be out on January.

Come back to see exactly when it will be published.

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My favorite times is now where I check to see how you are doing. You are a brother or sister to me, and I want what is best for you.

However, is there times when you feel like I did in 2001? Is the world spinning too fast? Too many burdens on your shoulders? You certainly are not alone my friend. There are over 9,770 fellow veterans on this site, and everyone of them have your back. But if it getting too overwhelming for you, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that is 24/7. There are Highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255 Option # 1

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never ever, give up!
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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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The Transition to Civilian Life is Tough For the Military

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Just saw a video about Swedish soldiers in training. They looked awesome. They will be great at helping us defend. They are just one of many allies who are preparing for battle.

This tells me that we are in good shape at this time. We had trouble getting support in the past. Very reassuring.

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There are rumors that President Trump is going to have the National Guard watching polling places. What do you think of that? I am in favor of that after seeing how many cases of fraud and destroying of ballots have occurred already. What ever we can do to have a vailed election.

My state has had mail in ballots for years. Seems to work here, but states that have never had it before have too many chances for mistakes.

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I lost a very close buddy a couple of weeks ago. He was a veteran like me. He was out riding his bike and had a heart attack. The loss is extremely hard. Still grieving over it.

Have you lost a Military buddy? I have lost three total. Each one was devastating to me.

Two were while I was on active duty. I shared these stories in an earlier posts.

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What many of us face when we get out of the military is acceptance. The transition is hard, at best. Some adjust quickly, but others who deal with PTSD, TBI, depression, etc., have a hard time facing the world. It is those that I am reaching out to in my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of life.

I share my own stories, and then relate them to the reader as how to overcome their fears.

One story I shared in the book was about a day I was on Hill 468 in Korea. I was running a line for teletyping. I was to listen to the airways for breaches of security. As I was doing this the light and the equipment started shutting down. I went out and found that the generator was out of gas.

I climbed up on the big generator with a can of gas. Just about when I was finished, I started to fall. I was going to land very hard if I didn’t grab something. Unfortunately what I grabbed, was the manifold of the generator. It severely burnt my hand. I got back into the hut with severe pain. The skin was burnt off of my left hand.

Now what??

I had to continue to monitor the airways. I had to use only my right hand to operate things. My left hand was wrapped in a make shift bandage.

Why didn’t I radio down to the headquarters for help? My military training taught me that I can’t leave my post. Stay there and be strong.

I used that story to reach out to those who face trouble and want to run. Face your problems no matter what.

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Remember:

You are nor alone.

You are not forsaken.

You are not unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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Please Let Me Off of This Hotel Called Earth!

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. You may be saving a life. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

I don’t know about you, but I have been getting overwhelmed with all that is going on around me. The Pandemic is still strong. The rioting is still going on, and the wild fires are getting wilder.

Makes it for stressful times.

It reminds me that we may have been in a spin cycle in our own washing machines!

It is about this time I start shouting, “Let me off of this hotel called earth!”

I just hunker down, and face the storm. I recall back to my military days when you knew you couldn’t leave your posts. Defend no matter what.

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Presdident Trump is still in the hosptial as of the lastest news I saw.

We need to pray for his quick recovery. What made me spitting mad is that the democrats started attacking him for not wearing a mask. This came from Nancy Pelosi who walked out of her hair day at a salon without a mask. Double standard???

They again have been attacking him for not liking the military. Couldn’t be further from the truth. Any military veteran or current service members know the truth.

They also think he won’t condem the KKK, White Supremist and others. He has condemed them openly at rallys, and interviews.

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I would like to talk about my new book coming out again:

It is called, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.”

I just have a few interviews left to do and I am done. I have a publishing company that is very interested.

Here is another endorsement from a high ranking female military person:

Signs of Hope for the Military: in and Out of the Trenches of Life, is a must read book for any military, which are hurting from PTD, TBI, anxiety, depression, etc. It has extensive valuable and doable suggestions for successful cope mechanisms. I have also enjoyed Doug Bolton sharing his own stories about his time in the military. He shows that he has been there and done that. This makes him very qualified to offer his advice, guidance and support.  

I applaud Doug for his insight and wiliness to share. I know you will too.

Colonel Dona Marie Iversen

+ Colonel Iverson is a high ranking nurse from NYC, New York. She was a commanding flight nurse while she served. She is now ahead of all the nurses in NYC.

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Checking in on you my friend.

Is everything OK with you? Are you caught up in the turmoil that is going on all around us? You are not alone. There are 9,600 fellow veterans here on this site. They all have your back.

If it is just too much for you now. GET HELP! Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. They have highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will not hang up on you until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255 Option # 1

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. You may be saving a life. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.