Category: Addictions

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He Who Angers You Controls You

I have been sharing excerpts from my book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.” I will be sharing Chapter three today.
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Chapter 3

He Who Angers You Controls You

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brotherwill be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother,“Raca” [a term of contempt], is answerable to the Sanhedrin[body of authorities]. But anyone who says,
“You fool!” will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Matthew 5:22

I have “a short fuse.” I can be easily offended and strike back with anger. As the years have gone by I realize that anger doesn’t solve anything. It only raises my blood pressure, and allows the other person to win. They get what they want. They got me frustrated and not thinking clearly.

I have finally gotten smarter and have learned to control my feelings to the point where I still may be upset about what has happened, but I don’t let it cause me to verbally strike out toward the other person. I don’t “count to ten.” I turn to God to give me strength to overcome my own feelings and think about the consequences for me if I fail in my quest to help others with their anger. I also ask God to help me have a calm spirit, and an understanding heart. I’m not being a good example to my children—or anyone else—if I don’t.

The following story makes the point about anger very clearly. Got a hammer?
There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him to hammer a nail into the back fence every time he lost control. The first day the boy drove 37 nails into the fence. Then he gradually discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. His father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father led his son to the fence. “You have done well, but look at the holes in the fence,” he said. “When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like the nail holes. You can put a knife in a person and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry,’ the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.”

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.
Psalm 37:7

A fool shows his annoyance [temper] at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.
Proverbs 12:16

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Ephesians 4:26

Further Adventures
How do you deal with anger? Do you have loved ones who can’t control their feelings some times? I have been a victim of losing my temper sometimes. I can’t put a bunch of nails in my fence out of anger because Charlotte would want me be put in a safe place so I wouldn’t be harmful to anyone—or the fence—again.

But think about this story each time you get angry. Tell it to your loved ones when they get upset. This is an easy story to remember. It is very short, but its impact could be tremendous.

Something to Ponder
Isn’t it funny that when we say kind words to someone they say kind words back?

Remember: Never, ever, give up!

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Everything That Can go Wrong, Probably Will

I am inviting you to sign-up for the RSS feed of this site. I have a blog at: www.dailysignsofhope.com, and it is getting over 30 people a day signing up for the RSS feed there. I would like to start that trend here as well.

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I have a brain storm going, and it hurts! I am thinking of giving away a free book to someone who signs-up for the RSS feed through a drawing. I am guessing I will need to have at least 10 people sign-up before I pull out a name.

What do you think?

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Excerpt # 2 is chapter two from the book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.” This book reaches out to those who may suffer from anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, hopelessness, and the many other usual suspects.

You can order the book right from this site. Just click on the bookstore at the top of this page.

The book is on sale from right now until Christmas. In the retail stores the price is $19.99, but on this site it is only $15.99, and the shipping has been cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00.

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Chapter 2

 

 

Everything that Can Go Wrong Probably Will

 

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;

 he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:4

 

 

Murphy must have been a sad soul. We all live by the laws he created for us. It seems that we blame everything that goes wrong on Murphy’s Law.

You’ve had those days. You get up in the morning and start out happy as a clam. (Not sure how happy that is.) You have some errands to do, and you begin to do them.

You run out of gas, or you have a flat tire. You forgot your grocery list. The item you thought was on sale wasn’t. There is an accident on the freeway, and you are stuck for hours.

Ever had those kinds of days? Let me tell you about mine! I had volunteered to help my son Greg out when he vacationed inDisneylandwith my granddaughter Molly. I told him I would pick up his mail every day, put the garbage cans back on Tuesday, and feed Charlie the cat all week.

Everything went well Sunday through Tuesday. But on Wednesday, the worst thing happened. I lost the door key. I had it in my summer shorts when I went to shower. I took off the shorts, showered, and then put on a clean pair of shorts. I left the house and headed over to my son’s house.

Charlie was waiting for me, and already had started his purring sound to let me know he was glad to see me. I got the mail, walked up to the door and reached into my pocket to get the key. It wasn’t there. Charlie was looking up at me looking like, “Why are you taking so long to open the door?”

“Sorry Charlie,” I muttered, sounding like a tuna commercial. “I have to go back home and get the key.” He wasn’t very happy with me as I walked to my car. I felt badly.

I got home and looked everywhere for the key. It was nowhere in sight. I even dumped out the hamper where the dirty clothes were. Zilch! Notta! Ouch!

I remembered that we had a bunch of extra keys in the desk drawer that had no names on them. I dug all of them out and drove back to my son’s house. You guessed it: None of them worked!

I was desperate by this time. I thought that I might have to call a locksmith, or call my son and have him Fed Ex his keys to me.

I prayed for help from God and immediately thought of calling my wife Charlotte to see if she had any ideas. (This was my close encounter with God.) I probably sounded shook up when she answered the phone—maybe because my only words were, “Now what do I do?”

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I’ve lost the key to the house, and the cat food is on the inside.”

Without hesitating, she suggested, “Go to the grocery store and buy another bag of cat food and feed Charlie outside. He’s an outside cat anyway. Greg can make a new key when he gets home.”

Charlie was really mad at me when I left the second time without feeding him. I returned with a tasty tuna and salmon meal (yum). He gobbled it up and was purring again when I left.

Of course, going to the grocery store was the obvious choice. (You realize, of course, that I actually knew it all along. I was just testingCharlotte.) The important thing was that the answer came after I had prayed for help.Charlottewas the messenger, but God answered the prayer.

God can answer prayers in many ways. It can be directly, or it can be through someone else.Charlottewas my answer to prayer. She knew the easy solution I needed, but I wasn’t able to think of.

Do you call on God to help you when you have a problem, or do you panic like I did? (God has a speed dial you know.) At least, I knew I couldn’t do it on my own and turned to God for help. The calming feeling that came as soon as I finished praying was very reassuring.

It was in God’s hands, and I knew something good would happen. Charlie got fed, and I have a whole bag of cat food for future lockouts.

Don’t let obstacles stop you. Turn your problems over to God. Let Him figure out a solution. It may not come as fast as mine did, but He will work it out the way He knows is best for you.

Since I am on the subject of prayer, please don’t just call on God when there is a problem. Talk to God every day. He loves to hear from you.

I know it is hard to pray when you are at work. It is hard to pray while you are driving. But you know what? When you are driving might be the best time to pray. It is when you are likely to be tense and need a calming spirit. A guy is blowing his horn behind you. Pray seeking patience because you do not know what is going on in this man’s life. He may want to get home because his wife called and is ready to have their first baby. Wouldn’t you be honking?

Prayer should be done without ceasing. Pray each and every day. Use it to praise God. Use it to thank Him for your good health. Use it to pray for peace. Whatever is on your mind, God wants to hear from you. It should be like He is sitting in the room with you. Carry on a conversation with Him.

 

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6–7

 

Further Adventures

Have you gone along in life thinking that everything is fine, only to have a day that makes you realize that the world is not always a rose garden? First of all, remember that we can’t look at everything through rose-colored glasses.

Second, when a bad day comes knocking at your door like it was your long-lost relative, make sure it understands that it can only stay for that day. Then boot it out at the end of the day by giving it over to God in prayer. You should never let your bad days stay longer than they should.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny that we always have a direct line to God, but we sometimes think the connection is dead?

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Stop the World and Let me Off. I’m Tired of Going Around

I am starting a new format today. I will be posting on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays from now on. I finally discovered that you can schedule your posts ahead of time. (I know… I am a dinosaur!) I can set-up all my post in one day, and still have time to write.

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I will be posting actual excerpts from my book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.”  This week I will start with the first chapter, and hand pick some future chapters, that readers have commented on.

You will see that this book reaches out to those who may suffer from anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, hopelessness, and the many other usual suspects.

There is a special sale going from right now through Christmas. In the retail stores, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,” is $19.99, but if you order from this site the price is only $15.99 and the shipping has been cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00.

When your book comes you will see that it is autographed and has a personal note just for you. (Think Christmas!)

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 Excerpt # 1…..

Chapter 1

 

 

 

Stop the World and Let Me Off. I’m Tired of Going ’Round and ’Round

 

 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

 

Psalm 34:18

 

 

 

I was out of control. The sobbing filled my eyes with tears. I couldn’t see the road ahead of me as I drove my Explorer.

Everything seemed to be going wrong in my life. I had quit two jobs because of guilt. I even failed at running my own business. I quit the two jobs because I had to sell something to customers and I had a hard time trying to force people to buy something they may not really need.

The business that failed was a cash flow venture that helped businesses have a better flow of money while they waited for their accounts receivables to come in. I left that venture because I again had to convince people to take part in something they may not have needed.

Depression, self doubt, fear, anxiety, and even hopelessness, overcame me until I was in the pit of despair. I was a happily married man with three children and several grandchildren. I had a wonderful 25-year teaching career. Why was I feeling so low? Why did I feel so unloved?

All I wanted to do was to stop the madness and check out of this wretched hotel called Earth! I pulled my SUV into a high school parking lot in a secluded area. I was ready to commit suicide. The date wasMarch 31, 2001. The next day was April Fools Day. A very fitting time to have your life end, don’t you think?

I did have the common sense to call my wife Charlotte. She came quickly to where I was. She calmed me down enough to where I thought I could drive myself home. After she left, I sat there behind the steering wheel still crying, and then I yelled, “God, I can’t take this anymore!”

In a flash, there was calmness in me. It even felt different in the vehicle. The air was fresher and cooler. It was as if God were saying, “It’s about time you came back to Me. I have been waiting for you. Let Me carry you the rest of the way.”

My life changed that day. I gave my life back to God.

I had been a Christian since I was about 16. But I was the poster child for a lukewarm Christian.

Yes, I went to church and made sure my children went also, but I wouldn’t say I was a perfect example for them. I rose up in my church to where I was the Sunday school superintendent and on the important Pastor-Parish Relations Committee, but in my heart I didn’t put God first.

On Sundays, I stayed home if there was a good football game on. You didn’t have to go to church every Sunday, did you? God let me know I did. He also let me know of a new direction for me to go.

Why had I allowed myself to fall to such a low spot? Why had I drifted so far away from God?

The answer my friend is I was in a battle with many afflictions like self-doubt, anxiety, etc. Those aren’t fancy medical terms like cardiovascular disease or leukemia, but they are just as deadly. These demons of the mind can control your life to the point where you are not functional. It can cause you to hide from the world and let your life go on unnoticed until you die. It can push you to ending your own life.

This book is for those who want to discuss all the enemies of man like self-doubt, fear of failure, divorce, death in the family, and many others. I want to share with you how God used me to write this book, and how He pulled me out of the muck and mire.

The walls we put up in life can be caused by a loss of a loved one or extreme trauma. We can put them up because of sexual abuse, inappropriate or unclear expectations, divorce, poverty, violence in the family, family addiction or environment.

Do you often feel like you don’t want to go to work? Are there times when you feel like you would rather stay in bed and not face the world? Have you fallen into the pit of despair without even knowing why you did? Have you ever felt lost—and alone?

You are not alone! Close to 19 million American adults, or about 9.5% of the U.S.population age 18 and older, suffer from some kind of handicapping mental disorder in a given year.1

Now that I have totally broken you down—there is hope! There are treatments that can help you. See your doctor to find what treatment is best for you. Then go to where there is eternal treatment, and that is through your loving heavenly Father.

The first part of this book talks about putting on God’s armor and fighting against the many mental afflictions. This information is from the horse’s mouth. That would be me. I have gone through many battles of my own. I have felt lost, and I thought that there was nowhere to go. I lived that way for many years. I existed from day to day, struggling with my emotions. I found out that I didn’t need to go through the torture. I had places I could go for help. I found out what they were, and I invite you to find out too.

            Bear with me! There is a happy ending.

 

“I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel. Peace, peace, to those far and near,” says the Lord. “And I will heal them.”

Isaiah 57:18–19

 

Further Adventures

You know how easy it is to let your emotions take over in your life. You’ve been there. It is too easy to let the little things grow from molehills to mountains. When each trial comes up, try to put it into perspective. Is it something that is going to be life-changing? Is it something you can’t handle yourself?

You could tell in this chapter that I couldn’t handle what was happening to me, and what happened next? I felt God was changing me.

Stop in the middle of your grief and say, “Why am I so out of control? What can I do to stop this madness?” The answer was easy for me. I ran to God like a long lost prodigal son, and He opened His arms and took me back in like any father would do with his own son. You should do the same: Run to God and let Him carry you the rest of the way through your life like He is doing for me.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny how we let the smallest winds grow into a full-blown storm?