Transcending from the military is Often Tough

Today I am just going to talk to you. I have been sharing military news, and now I am sharing with you directly.

What is happening in your life? Do you have times that you are depressed.? Are there times you wish you could just stay in bed all day? How about your daily routine? Do you avoid projects, because you fear failure?

There is much more of course, but I think you get the picture.

When we transcend from military life to civilian life, things can be very tough. People don’t understand you. They think you are still a soldier and some fear you. Finding work is a challenge. Your training does not fit most jobs.

If you are there I hear you.

When I first go out, I got a job as a grocery clerk. Not a job you really want to brag about, but my cousin got me the job and I was grateful. It was with Pigglly Wiggly, the grocery change with a funny name.

I decided I needed to get back to college, and get a degree. I had one term at George Fox College, and even played on the college football team. I was feeling good again.

The drive from Salem, Oregon to Newberg, Oregon was about a 40 mile drive each way.

One day early in the morning I was driving to school. It was cold and slippery and there was black ice. (Ice you can’t see.) I hit a patch of the ice and I was out of control. I hit a deep ditch that had water in it. I rolled several times. When the car stopped I was just above water. I was in pain, but I crawled out to safety.

My car was totaled and I had to quit college because I couldn’t afford getting a new car and paying for college at the same time.

I felt defeated, alone, and depressed.

I finally packed my family up and moved to California. I was told that Safeway, a huge grocery chain, was looking for new people. I got there and they put me through a training school and hired me.

Long story short….. I worked for them for eight years, and advanced quickly to being the “third,” man in one of the huge stores.

I still wasn’t happy!

We had added two more children, and I was working crazy hours. I never got to be with my family much. I decided to go back to college again in a Junior college. I did really well there. Had several terms of a 4.0 GPA.

I was feeling good again. However. Safeway asked me the important question: “Are you using your college training to advance with us or are you going elsewhere.”

Being honest I said I was planning to be a teacher. BOOM! They put me in the basement, and had me marking prices on cans. They didn’t want to have anything to do with me.

I transferred to Oregon State University, and got my degree in education. I had reached my dream, and the rest is history. I spent 22 years of joy working with children.

Finally, I made it to what I really wanted to do, but I hit a lot of walls, and disappointments to get there.

That may be how you will have to struggle once you get into civilian life. Many ups a downs, but a huge reward in the end. Let me share some suggestions to help you transcend into civilian life:

  1. There is always sunshine somewhere.
  2. The path may be rough but it leads to a smooth ending.
  3. Throw out the negative thoughts, and keep the positive ones.
  4. Perseverance should be your main word for life.
  5. Take one day at a time, and make them count.
  6. Above all…never, ever, give up!


You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.


If you like these posts I suggest you subscribe so that you will never miss another. Go to the top of this page and click on subscribe. Also it be wonderful if you told other about this site and have them join us as well.

Change is Hard Even if it’s Good Change

Thanks to all of you who have been joining us here. We help bring change to lives. The response has been wonderful.  We just past 3,885 new subscribers. That was a huge increase in 2016. We only had 1,000 two years ago. In 2017 help us to make it to 4,000.

We are only 115 away of reaching our goal.  We will be giving a prize to the person who is our 4,000th person to subscribe. 

Help us make it to 4,000 by subscribing today if you haven’t already. This shows you care for veterans. Just click on the icon right after the title of this post to do that, and the posts will come straight to your inbox.                            ____________________________________________________________

Doug Bolton, the founder of the blog, Signs of Hope, which is at, has written a new book, “Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.” It reaches out the many military and veterans who may be battling anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, rejections, and the many other usual suspects. There are 22 military connected suicides every day. That is almost one every hour. Doug wants to help stop those statistics.  


This is a new social network just for veterans. I joined it and made instant friendships with veterans who want to talk about what I want to talk about. Please check it out. You will be glad you did.


We have just added a fantastic product for people who are suffering from PTSD. I have looked at the video myself. It is a little long, but it is very valuable. Go to  to see for yourself. It will change your life if you suffer from PTSD. 


Change is hard even if it is good change. 

I have been connecting with many veterans through RallyPoint. It is a social network just forminitary and their families. Here is the link. Check it out.

One thing I have been hearing from people I am connected with is the hard times they have been having since they moved to the civilian life. The change they have to go through is very hard at best.

  • Fitting into a civilian job.
  • Finding new friends
  • Learning to not force their feelings onto others.
  • Battling PTSD,TBI, Depression, Homelessness, War wounds.

The list could go on. Many of you could write your own list.

When I am writing this I am directing my words not only to the veterans, but to their families and friends. You are an important part of their transition. You need to help the veteran through his change. 

There are so many who are struggling. 22 veterans take their own lives every day! Some say that figure is even higher.  Some veterans can not win the battle of change that is churning in their own heads.

I am glad to say that I have finally found peace for me. I was very depressed when I came out of the military. Yes, it was half a century ago, and they didn’t have the word PTSD, but I was there. I was struggling. I considered suicide myself. I even sat in my rig one day back in 2001,and was ready to check out of this hotel called earth.

God stopped me that day, and directed me into writing, and here I am spilling my guts to you.

So, What can we do to fight back? How can we survive?

  1. The first thing I learned is that most of my battle was in my head. I finally realized that the mind can control you in a positive way and a negative way. If we let it, the mind can be our secret weapon. If we block out the negative thoughts and only allow positive thoughts, I whole life will change.

Sound too simplistic? It may be for some, but check it out as one of your steps to recovery on the path of change you are walking.

2. Slow down. You don’t need to rush into anything. You have heard the saying about people who are in the rat race? Will I am here to tell you that even rats rest. They sleep after a hard day of scaring people. BTW… even the tides rest. They come up to a high spot and pause for a few minutes and then they go into the other direction. That is what we need to do. We need to pause and go the other direction to accept change.

3. You may think you aren’t capable of taking all this on. Maybe you are thinking you would rather stay in bed all day and forget the world. You may even want to stick your head in the sand and hide. You are strong! You may not have heard that in a while, but back to basics my friend. When you went into the military, you were a mean, green, fighting machine. Find that same fire in your belly. Dig deep and pull out the strength you had then.

4. Know when to ask for help. Others can help you change. Most veterans feel they shouldn’t ask for help because they are supposed to be tough. If I kept that mentality I wouldn’t be here today writing to you. Ask for help! I am going to share a telephone number with you, and please call it if you have any self destruction ideas for yourself.

There is always help for you 24/7 at: 1-800-273-8255

5. Take charge of your life. Do a turn around. Stop letting the dark side control you. Accept the change.



You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!