Transition Out of The Military Can be a Daunting Experience for Military Soldiers

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Marine Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller was sentenced on Friday to receive a punitive letter of reprimand and forfeit $5,000 of one month’s pay after pleading guilty to all charges stemming from his public tirades against top military and civilian leaders.

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Sgt. Maj. of the Army Michael Grinston wants leaders to stop scheduling training just for the sake of it. Instead, he wants soldiers to make time for something very important.

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What follows is a long article written by a soldier going through transition to civilian life. I am using it to help those who may be struggling since they left the military:

A veteran’s ordeal after hanging up the uniform in an America he doesn’t recognize

Nothing had prepared me to live.

Sitting at the required transition briefing at my last military duty station, I watched a ridiculous civilian brief a room full of soldiers about our Veterans Affairs health and educational benefits.

I zoned in and out until he said, “Not everyone thinks your service is a good thing.”

My mind slowed down.

Before my eyes flashed all the news articles I had read about veterans leaving the service and landing amazing careers.

Weren’t headhunters recruiting Army junior officers like me? Wasn’t I being thanked every time I stepped outside the base for my service?

He was greatly misinformed. America loved its warriors.

Even if things were difficult for veterans, I was surely an exception. As an Army captain with command experience, with multiple degrees, and with combat time, as far as I was concerned, I was a damned unicorn

Then I left the confines of the base, took off my uniform.

Months and months after applying and applying and applying to hundreds of openings, I sat across from a human resources representative for a “military friendly” company. She had heard me speak at length about my service and deployments. She glanced at the resume I had specifically crafted for the job opening of head basket weaver. She calmly put down my paperwork, looked me in the eye, and said:

“Yes … yes … ” as she waved away my service with her hand, “but you have no real experience, do you?”

In the lobby sat another officer far more accomplished than I, awaiting an interview. The day after, there would be more. It wasn’t the last time I would encounter this.

My service wasn’t an accomplishment. It was a liability. It was just missed years of real employment—as far as I could see.

I started to see my visits to “hero” job fairs—with recruiters who looked dubiously upon my multiple degrees and combat experiences—as a financial and mental health liability to me. They offered no possibilities beyond accepting a resume, then citing a “poor fit” for any positions. One offered me a minimum-wage security guard position, knowing I desperately needed the work.

Where were the former officers from Forbes magazine and the poster children of Fortune 500 military websites? The real unicorns had fled the stables.

I was searching. I was searching for good examples of veterans who had left and hadn’t killed themselves or hooked themselves on drugs or lost their best selves in dead-end employment.

I was looking for an employer who wouldn’t treat me as the solution to years of fiscal monsters. The personnel mismanagement gods expected me to deliver a solution, like all mythical heroes, like those “skilled in the ways of contending” do.

I had become so wrapped up in my employment that I couldn’t see around me.

My children were growing like grass while I kept watch over at the distant sandstorms of Iraq, as if I were still driving there and wishing at times I was.

So I put away my service in a box and worked through Veterans Day. I watched resumes come across my desk that dripped in military acronyms, ones I knew would never see the light of day. I read another beautifully crafted document where the veteran had reduced his entire military officer service into a single line.

But the more I ignored who I was, the more I was reminded by my coworkers and others.

“This is probably cake compared to Iraq, right?”

“I don’t think I could have done what you did.”

During formal introductions at a company event, I hear the dreaded question come, from a tall man with salt and pepper hair.

“Where did you work before?”

I took a breath and recounted and, as an afterthought, added, “I was also in the military for a bit.”

His eyes lit up. I clenched, waiting for the usual formal questions about my sanity and the later casual questions about how many people I had killed.

Instead, he said, “Follow me.”

I resisted saying, like all good soldiers, “Lead the way.”

I walked down the hallway into his office. On the wall, hanging, were the requisite degrees and family photos.John Thampi in Tallil, Iraq, in 2005, where he served as a second lieutenant. Photo courtesy of the author.

John Thampi in Tallil, Iraq, in 2005, where he served as a second lieutenant.

In between all of them was a smudge of green—a younger version of him, standing among a group of men from the Ranger Battalion. I turned to him, eyes widened. He laughed..

It wasn’t the only time I would meet men and women like this. The veterans I had looked for in posters and magazines were all around me. They were doing what I felt I was doing, working and living, quietly and without a narrator’s voice in their ears.

I recall sitting for an interview debriefing. The company I worked for had reviewed multiple candidates, and some veterans and the HR manager asked me, “So what do we look for? What badge, what years of service, what locations?”

What was the combination that ensured the company got a mythic corporate hero instead of raving suitor-killing lunatic?

I didn’t have an answer then.

Maybe if they had the patience to hear it, I would tell them the protagonist never really comes back. Rather, it’s his friend who returns to an America he doesn’t recognize. He adjusts, and studies to become a teacher, and attends baseball games again, getting used to large crowds. I would go on to explain that he is married now and has children, and that he refuses to define himself by his service.

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A reminder that I have a new book coming out soon. It is called, Signs of Hope for the Military: In an Out of the Trenches of Life.

There will be many chapters sharing my time in the military, plus many more that speak specifically about PTSD, war wounds, depression, etc. It also is a book for all of those who suffer from “battle fatique,” and many other problems once you get out of the military.

I suggest you come back to this site often, because I will be sharing more excerpts for you to read. Better yet…go to the top of this page and click on “subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox.

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So…how are your days going? Too long? Hate to go to sleep at night?

FEAR NOT!!

There are over 13,250 fellow veterans here on this site who have your back.

However, it the road is too rough for you to walk, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

The Transition to Civilian Life is Tough For the Military

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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Just saw a video about Swedish soldiers in training. They looked awesome. They will be great at helping us defend. They are just one of many allies who are preparing for battle.

This tells me that we are in good shape at this time. We had trouble getting support in the past. Very reassuring.

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There are rumors that President Trump is going to have the National Guard watching polling places. What do you think of that? I am in favor of that after seeing how many cases of fraud and destroying of ballots have occurred already. What ever we can do to have a vailed election.

My state has had mail in ballots for years. Seems to work here, but states that have never had it before have too many chances for mistakes.

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I lost a very close buddy a couple of weeks ago. He was a veteran like me. He was out riding his bike and had a heart attack. The loss is extremely hard. Still grieving over it.

Have you lost a Military buddy? I have lost three total. Each one was devastating to me.

Two were while I was on active duty. I shared these stories in an earlier posts.

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What many of us face when we get out of the military is acceptance. The transition is hard, at best. Some adjust quickly, but others who deal with PTSD, TBI, depression, etc., have a hard time facing the world. It is those that I am reaching out to in my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of life.

I share my own stories, and then relate them to the reader as how to overcome their fears.

One story I shared in the book was about a day I was on Hill 468 in Korea. I was running a line for teletyping. I was to listen to the airways for breaches of security. As I was doing this the light and the equipment started shutting down. I went out and found that the generator was out of gas.

I climbed up on the big generator with a can of gas. Just about when I was finished, I started to fall. I was going to land very hard if I didn’t grab something. Unfortunately what I grabbed, was the manifold of the generator. It severely burnt my hand. I got back into the hut with severe pain. The skin was burnt off of my left hand.

Now what??

I had to continue to monitor the airways. I had to use only my right hand to operate things. My left hand was wrapped in a make shift bandage.

Why didn’t I radio down to the headquarters for help? My military training taught me that I can’t leave my post. Stay there and be strong.

I used that story to reach out to those who face trouble and want to run. Face your problems no matter what.

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Remember:

You are nor alone.

You are not forsaken.

You are not unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

Soldier Had to Watch Two of His Buddies Die

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. You may be saving a life. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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I told you on Monday’s post that I would be sharing a chapter from my time at Ft. Bragg, and also an interview I had with a veteran, from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life. Here they are:

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Ft Bragg

Sitting on a Military Plane Ready to Fly to the Bay of Pigs

I know of some of the fears you face or have faced as a soldier. I have had my share of scary times while in uniform for my country.

I had put in three years of active duty, and was very near to my discharge date while at Ft. Bragg, North Carolina. As a matter of fact the discharge date was just days away.

It seemed like a normal day of “putting in your time,” but then there came a sound that I never want to hear again. It was the intercom in our section of the company I was stationed with saying, “This is an alert.” This is not a drill, all personnel report to headquarters for a briefing right away.”

I couldn’t think of why there would be any problems that serious happening, and still thought it was a drill as I ran towards the headquarters building.

When we all assembled, the commander went to the podium and spoke.

“I am here to inform you that all leaves and weekend passes are canceled. We have received a message from the commanding General of the Army to stand by for a possible mission to the Bay of Pigs. This is a very serious mission, which will put you in combat and in harm’s way. Our unit is being deployed, to help monitor the security of the communications while there. We will serve in the field headquarters of the mission. You have about two hours to pack your full field clothes and equipment. Dismissed!”

That was it. No more explanations or chances to ask questions.

I drove home quickly, packed all my gear in a duffel bag.

I got back to the headquarters, and it looked like pandemonium and chaos had sat in, with soldiers running everywhere.  

A few minutes later everyone had made it there and we were all in formation. The commander then told us to come to attention.

We all headed to buses that were waiting to take us to the military airport on base. When we got there, we unloaded and marched to the area of several planes. They had us board the planes with full gear and field uniforms on. The pilot came on to tell us that we will be in a combat area when we land at the Bay of Pigs.

I sat down in my area, and was holding my weapon (M-1 rifle) between my legs. I was numb with fear and anxiety. I had never thought I would actually be in a conflict where I could die.

The plane started its engines. The plane shook as the engines roared to get up to the speed they needed to get off the ground. It taxied to the runway and stopped.

Then we waited for the pilot to push the throttle. We sat there for what seemed like hours. I could see the fear, in the eyes in the soldiers around me. I was only about twenty years old then, and began to see my life unfold before me. I had thoughts of not coming back. I had thoughts of my loved ones I would never see again.

The plane was shaking from the vibrations of the motors. I said a prayer because it looked like we were going to take off. The plane was moving. However, it was not going down the runway. It was heading back to the area where we boarded.

The pilot came on the intercom and said that the mission had been aborted, and we were going back to our companies.

I felt such relief along with men and women around me who were yelling for joy. We were safe and heading back to our homes.

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I only shared this story because I know some of you have gone through the same thing. You also have been sent into combat, and faced the fear of not coming back. I was very lucky, but many of you actually left the ground in your plane, and headed into harm’s way.

Fear is something that is hard to control. Even the most-brave face it. We all have been there in some capacity.

It could be the doctor’s appointment that has information on your health. It also could be the times when you have to leave your loved ones for any mission. It may be the crises of your marriage when your spouse is tired of going through the pain of wondering if you will come back alive.

Did you know that Jesus faced fear? He even asked God to take away the fear by relieving Him of the cup of the responsibility God had placed on Him. He sweated blood during that prayer. God heard the prayer, but let Jesus go through the fear, pain and agony of going to the cross and dying for you and me. 

I am not making it sound like we shouldn’t be afraid. I know we are quite often. I am not saying you are a bad person if you are afraid of something. We all have our spots where we fear the unknown.

I think that is the key. It is the “unknown.” It’s not knowing what will happen next.

What I have learned from so many times of facing fear that 99% of what we fear never happens. We just need to give the other 01% over to God.

Is it that simple? I can honestly tell you that it is. God has big shoulders. He wants to take the burdens of our day away from us. We just need to depend on Him to keep His promises and know that He will never put us in a situation that we can’t handle with His help.

IWILL

Facing the unknown in life can be very hard. We aren’t built to take on such scary things at times. We just need to rely on God to see us through the dark clouds we face. He knows which way we need to go to avoid harm.

Think on this

Isn’t it interesting that having fear is what we really need to fear?   

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SGT Michael Thorin

U.S. Army

I had the honor to talk to Michael Thorin about his experiences. Like all interviews his had some horrific moments and some good times.

Michael was an acting platoon SGT for convoy security. He was attached to A Co. 31st FSB. Watched over convoys during transition.

SOH

What did you think of other soldiers you were with?

Michael

You think others deserve more praise.

SOH

What about the bad times you had?

Michael

I was in a reconnaissance leader, and we had a group of vehicles that protected the convoys. One day we were traveling in a group, and the vehicle ahead of us suddenly caught on fire. It was intense immediately. We all got out of our rigs and ran toward the vehicle, but it was too late. The men inside had already burned to death. There was nothing to do, but make sure everyone else was safe. They were very good men.

You never leave the bad times behind you. They are always with you. Your mind is always full of military times.

SOH

Let’s switch to your transition time. When did you get home and how did you feel when you got out?

Michael

I got home on September 11, 2006.

SOH

Let me interrupt you and share that was the same day as the 9-11 attack.

Michael

Yes, we all knew it, and it was very emotional.

SOH

What was it like coming through the terminals when you landed?

Michael

People were applauding and shaking our hands.

SOH

When you first got home with your family what was it like?

Michael

I didn’t think I was worthy of love and I struck back at my wife. Whatever I thought of her wasn’t true, but it takes time to sort things out.

SOH

That must have been depressing for you. How did you handle it?

Michael

Four times I had a gun pointing at my head. It wasn’t until I knew I needed help that I got help.

SOH

So, what did you do for a job once you got out?

Michael

I was a fire fighter. Best job I could have had. It related to military in some ways. The city treated me with great respect. They knew my aliments I had, and they did everything they could to help. I eventually had to leave the dept because the physicals were getting too hard for me. I left in 2014.

SOH

You have dealt with a lot of pain. What do you think of that? How have you made this far through all your pain and anguish.

Michael

It is a gift that keeps on giving.

SOH

You are now retired. What have you moved on to?

Michael

I reach out to other veterans as much as I can. I have a Thursday night conference call that has many veterans calling in for help. It is a faith-based conference call. Many of those calling in have PTSD, and TBI. They talk about their hardships and seek help.

SOH

You are also a national board member for the Victory for Veterans Foundation. Tell us about that, and why did you become a board member?

Michael

I can reach out and help my fellow veterans through the programs that VFV has.

SOH

How do you feel about how you have made it this far through all your pain and anguish?

Michael

I wouldn’t be able to make it if I wasn’t a Christian. I wake up every morning saying what’s next Lord.

Michael Thorn came home from Afghanistan with many hidden aliments and pain. The list that follows are some of the ailments that he received while on duty. He is very ill and needs double lung transplants. He labored through this interview.

He was coughing and wheezing towards the end. I asked him if he wanted to stop several times, and he insisted that we continue so he could help other veterans. 

He spends many hours in the emergency trying to stay alive. Here are his conformed ailments.

  • PTSD
  • TBI
  • IFP
  • Chronic backpain
  • Tracheobronomalacia (TBM)
  • Constrictive Bronchiolitis Syndrome
  • Pulmonary Hypertension
  • Hypertension
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  • Sleep Apnea
  • Insomnia
  • Dyputrins Contranctures
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Degenerative Bone Disease
  • Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
  • Psoriatic Arthritis
  • Chronic Nausea

In Michael’s profile he warns soldiers about not getting help soon enough. That was his mistake. He said learn about all your benefits, and how to start using them for assistance.

Michael spent two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

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This will be all the excerpts I will share with you at this time. If you want to see my first two excerpts they will be the post below this one.

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Checking in on you my friend. How are you doing.? I know it is hard to go through transition from the Military to civilian life. I have been there. How about your physical and mental health? Are you battling PTSD. TBI, depression, war wounds, etc?

You are not alone! There are close to 9,000 fellow veterans here on this site. They have your six!

If it is too overwhelming, get help like Michael Thorin pleaded for you to do. You are not a sissy if you get help. Many people may try to tell you that, but they are wrong. Here is a toll free number that is 24/7 to help you if you need it:

1-800-273-8255

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. You may be saving a life. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!