Violence in Military Marriages is far Too common, and Needs to Stop.

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Military news….

The last living WWII Medal of Honor recipient has died

Hershel “Woody” Williams was 98.

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Air Force selects new helmet to replace the one pilots have loved to hate since the 1980s

The Air Force picked a new helmet that could keep fixed-wing aircrew members more comfortable and injury-free.

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The US military is the only thing stopping China from swallowing Taiwan whole

As China steps up its rhetoric against Taiwan, lessons must be learned from the Russia-Ukraine conflict.

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Social media can be a weapon, and it’s time US troops get trained on it

Leaders need to be taught the risks and rewards of social media in a new era of information warfare.

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Russian boat reportedly sunk while bringing supplies to Black Sea island made famous by Ukrainian guards

A Russian military tugboat carrying a surface-to-air missile launcher to Snake Island in the Black Sea sank after two Ukrainian missiles struck it, Kyiv announced Friday.

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Endless shelling and dead soldiers: A vicious artillery war spreads in Ukraine

It’s a pitiless artillery war, perhaps not seen since WWI, involving less strategy than slugfest, both sides lob barrage and counter-barrage over a see-sawing front line and hope to still be standing when they pulverize the other side into submission or withdrawal.

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US and NATO seen in more favorable light abroad as world sours on Putin, survey finds

A median of 65% of those polled across 11 alliance member countries held favorable views of NATO, compared with 26% having negative views, Pew said.

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Here is another excerpt from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life. This is one aspect of the military people take for granted. However, they can’t forget it because it impacts their whole family.

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Violence in Military Marriages

In the military it is all too common that domestic violence raises its ugly head. The spouse that is left behind usually gets the brunt of it. Some signs that you may be one of those victims are:

  • Are you slowly, helplessly letting the continuous grip of despair come over you?
  • Are you pounded by guilt others have placed on you like the waves hitting the shores on the Oregon coast?
  • Does your marriage feel dead or burnt out?
  • Have you cried so much that the reservoirs for your eyes have dried up?
  • Do you fear the times when your spouse is coming home?
  • Do you feel it is better to remain silent than to say anything at all?
  • When you do speak, are you chastised or even beaten?

If you face any of these situations, you are in a domestic violence trap. Domestic violence sucks the joy out of anyone. You shouldn’t be like a bobble-head doll and let someone slap you around until you nod the way they want you to.

Angry people want to see how powerful they are.

Loving people want you to see how powerful you are.

Chief Red Eagle

His statement is so true. Angry people want to crash the hopes of those around them. They want to crush their dreams. They have to be in control. They seek power and seek submission from others.

Let’s look at what we can do to try to even the playing field in a marriage, military or otherwise.

Things that hurt a marriage can be:

  1. Making your spouse look bad in public. This can happen a lot in the military because there are a lot of functions that require their personnel to come with a spouse, and this seems to be a prime place to show others who is the boss.
  2. Putting coal in those angry snowballs you throw. Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can destroy me. So many times violence starts from a shouting match where one spouse is calling the other horrible names.
  3. Using threatening statements like, “I am leaving for good,” is so hurting that the other spouse will give in and allow the horrible dream to continue.
  4. Using absolute words like “always” and “never” when you describe something your spouse does or doesn’t do can crush their heart. Saying, “You always cook the wrong food,” or “You never keep the house clean enough,” is very degrading and harmful to the marriage.

One thing I’ve noticed when someone says they have a perfect marriage is that it is easy to see that one of them is in complete control. Feelings are not allowed. The outward appearance can be deceiving. If one spouse is always quiet and you seldom hear a word from them, it is often a bad sign. Silence is a deal breaker in most marriages.

If you are a victim, or even the aggressor, you need to change the path that you’re going down. You need to do a U-turn and go back to when you both were madly in love.

Have you ever noticed in the western movies when a cowboy has ridden his horse for a while he then stops, turns around, and then looks back? Why do they do that?

They do it because the trail looks different looking back than when they rode over it. It is a way to know your way back if you need to go that way again.

If you’re in the middle of a domestic violence situation, you need to look back and find your way back to where you both where truly in love.

One thing to remember is that when you first married you thought your spouse was nearly 100 percent awesome, and you knew the other amount was under construction.

Here is a big secret. (Now don’t tell anyone.) If we spent more time acting like we were still courting our spouses long after the marriage takes place, there would be less divorces and domestic violence in this world.

We need to keep forging ahead to find new ways to make things work for us. It’s like a river that reaches places the beginning of the river never knew. There will be new paths that we have never been on, and there will be walls we have never faced. But like that same river that meanders around obstacles, we have to find ways to go through, around, or under those walls to keep the home fires burning.

We need to quit looking for the bad in our spouse. It is like looking for weeds instead of enjoying all the flowers around them.

We must allow our spouse to become. By that I mean like when a caterpillar goes completely into a cocoon and is stripped of all form; yet it is changed into a beautiful butterfly. People are like that.

We also need to God in our lives. We need to have Him heal the open wounds of the heart and exchange the horrible looks on our faces with a smile. He can do that if we allow Him to.

If both spouses let go of their own desires and allow God to guide their lives, love will automatically overflow from each them. Of course, we know that love conquers everything.

If you are a victim, get help from the proper sources in the appendix. If you are the aggressor, do the same. There are anger management sources in the back. 

IWILL

Domestic violence is very much in the minds of all people these days because of the tremendous exposure it is getting in professional athletics. Way too many sports figures have made headlines because of domestic violence. The subject is now out in the open for all to think about in their own lives.

I agree that as military, you are living a regimented and strict life you have to obey every day. But there are no excuses to bring it home and use it on your spouse.

Use any resources you can to end the terror and humiliation of domestic violence.

Think about this

Isn’t it sad how we allow others to dictate our lives to us when we are capable of much more?

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Checking in on you. How are you doing? Is everything going OK, or are you fighting back memories?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 15,219 Veterans on this site who have your back.

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If you are battling mentally, but you are losing, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up.

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When a Soldier Losses a Friend in Battle it can Cause PTSD

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Military news…

US approves sale of $120 million in warship parts to Taiwan, irking China

The sale comes as tensions between the U.S. and China over Taiwan simmer.

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US Army officer who witnessed horrific German train derailment recalls helping at ‘scariest scene’ of his life

Army Col. Charles Bergman happened upon one of Germany’s worst train crashes in years on Friday. He and others stopped traffic, called rescuers, helped people out of the creek, checked airways and wounds, laid injured people near the side of the road and tried to calm hysterical victims.

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Sailor rescues pregnant soldier from flooded Okinawa underpass
Petty Officer 3rd Class Ryan Tottingham had just finished his last watch and had two days left in the Navy, but intuition told him to check the tunnel for flooding, he said.

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North Korea slams Seoul’s part in massive US-led RIMPAC naval exercise

North Korea frequently criticizes the joint military exercises between the U.S. and the South and claims they are a rehearsal for the invasion.

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Austin calls out China for increasingly aggressive policy toward Taiwan

America’s policy toward Taiwan remains unchanged, but China’s relations toward that island have grown ever more aggressive and coercive.

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Seoul: North Korea fires suspected artillery pieces into sea

The suspected artillery launches were the latest in a spate of weapons tests by North Korea this year.

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Russia likely to seize control of eastern Ukrainian region within weeks, US official says

The Ukrainian cities of Severodonetsk and Lysychansk, in Luhansk, are increasingly under duress and could fall to Russian forces within a week, the official said.

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I going to share a partial interview for my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life. This interview is with Staff Sergeant Michael Thorten. He was an Afghanistan veteran.

I have a lengthy interview with him, and this is just one segment of it.

What was the worst thing you had to face?

I was the head NCO for a unit that protected the convoys as they moved from one spot to another.

We were traveling alongside a convoy, when suddenly the vehicle ahead of me caught on fire. It was fully ingulfed by the time I jumped out and ran to it. Two of my soldiers were inside and couldn’t get out. They burned to death in front of our eyes.

I have relived that scene many times in my life. It doesn’t go away.

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This lead to PTSD for Michael. He has now recovered, and living a good life with his family.

This is just a partial interview with Michael. There is much more in the book. Keep coming back to see more interviews and stories. Better yet…go to the top of this page an click on subscribe. When you do all future posts will go directly to your inbox.

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Checking in on you. How are you doing? Is everything going OK, or are you fighting back memories?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 15,0105 Veterans on this site who have your back.

Here is what I am asking you to do…please share this site with as many other veterans as you can. It has helped so many.

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If you are battling mentally, but you are losing, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

There Does Not Seem to be Enough Military Support From Our Nation’s Leadership

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I am going to be on a rant at the first of this post. I heard the speeches for Memorial Day, from both our president and Vice president. They were both very poor. Especially the vice president’s words.

She never said anything about the brave warriors who lost their lives for our country. She said, “Have a great weekend.”

This forgetting of our fellow veterans is not acceptable. The current leadership of this country are turning their backs on the military.

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Military news…

Navy SEAL officer-turned-congressman Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-Texas) may have played himself last week, when he created a whistleblower website for complainants to report evidence of “woke ideology” in the U.S. military. But instead, Crenshaw was inundated with parody complaints and movie plots, like the famous ending monologue from Blade Runner.

If you’re going to accuse a sitting President of election fraud, maybe don’t do it on live TV while wearing your Army uniform. That’s what 1st. Lt. Alex Stovall, a 26-year-old reserve officer, found out now that his branch is looking into a TV interview he conducted with the right-wing news organization One America News Network, who is running to represent Arizona in Congress, appears to have violated several other Army rules along the way.

What do the words ‘behoove,’ ‘chow,’ ‘expedite,’ ‘daggon,’ and ‘irregardless’ have in common? They are all used way too frequently by career enlisted troops and officers, to the agony of many a junior enlisted service member.

Thousands of Afghans who helped Americans for the past 20 years face torture and death as soon as U.S. troops leave Afghanistan. What’s worse is that no one at the Pentagon or State Department seems to care enough about them to begin a massive evacuation while there’s still time. Even Army Gen. Mark Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, acknowledged on Wednesday that “a significant amount of Afghans” that supported the U.S. could be in danger very soon as the U.S. prepares to withdraw by Sept. 11.

What do the words ‘behoove,’ ‘chow,’ ‘expedite,’ ‘daggon,’ and ‘irregardless’ have in common? They are all used way too frequently by career enlisted troops and officers, to the agony of many a junior enlisted service member, writes James Clark in this very funny story. A few weeks ago, James asked you readers for their nominations for words that are overused ad nauseam in the military, and I’ll be daggon’d if you didn’t deliver.

Don’t miss James’ complete list of the cursed words here. I’m sure you get a promotion straight to four-star general if you can string them all together into one incoherent sentence.Thousands of Afghans who helped Americans for the past 20 years face torture and death as soon as U.S. troops leave Afghanistan, writes Jeff Schogol in this troubling article. What’s worse is that no one at the Pentagon or State Department seems to care enough about them to begin a massive evacuation while there’s still time. Even Army Gen. Mark Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, acknowledged on Wednesday that “a significant amount of Afghans” that supported the U.S. could be in danger very soon as the U.S. prepares to withdraw by Sept. 11.

Make sure you read Jeff’s excellent piece to understand why U.S. officials are dropping the ball on this, and what they could do to get people out faster.If you were too busy counting the minutes to the weekend last Friday to pay attention to the proposed defense budget, we don’t blame you. The $715 billion request has some good and some bad news. Good news: troops and civilian employees would get a 2.7% raise in their basic pay in fiscal year 2022. Bad news: the Air Force would retire 42 A-10s to pay for newer aircraft, should the proposal be accepted by Congress.
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How is you life going? Is it like a rollercoaster ride?

FEAR NOT!!

There are over 12,055 fellow veterans subscribed on this site who have your back.

If the ride is too bumpy and scary, GET HELP!

Here is a toll free number to call 24/7.

There are highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will not hang up until they know you are OK.

Never let your ride through life get out of control.

1-800-273-8255 Option # 1 + (New)= texting 835255
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Remember:

You are never alone.
You are never forsaken.
You are never unloved.
And above all….never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know about it.