I Was Considering Suicide to Check Out of This Hotel Called Earth.

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

______________________________________________

Had cataract surgery just one hour ago on my right eye. Typing with one eye for now. Lots of fun.

As a veteran, my heart breaks every time I hear about another brother or sister committing suicide. This happens 22 times everyday. Before I finish this post another one will die.

_______________________________________________

Let me give you some back ground on my self:

I struggled often while I was deployed. I was a teenager, and missed home. I also had some buddies die, so I was on the edge, like many military personnel that are deployed.

I was in a bad situation for my mental health. When I got out and was married. Everything seem to mount up on me. I had trouble relating to my wife. I barked at family and friends.

I reached to bottom of my life on March 31st, 2001. That was the year when the Twin Towers were hit by planes. My father also died that year, and I was at my ropes end.

On April 1st (fool’s day) I couldn’t take anymore. I was in my Ford Explorer driving. I was sobbing , and it was hard to see the road. I pulled into a high school parking lot, and found the most hidden part. I was considering suicide.

I was sobbing so much that the windows were fogging up. I finally cried out to God, “I can’t take this anymore!” Then suddenly I got quiet. the windows started clearing up. There was a freshness inside my rig.

It was almost like God was saying, “It is about time you came back to me. Now let me carry you the rest of the Way.” I was stunned. I had forgotten about God, but He waited patiently for me.

I drove home and went into my office. in a drawer I saw some journals I had been writing for several years. I picked one up and started reading. I saw immediately that what I was writing was what I was going through right then.

I had wanted to write a book, but didn’t know it would be about. I kept reading more from my journals, and soon realize exactly what I should be writing about. I had been writing my hurts, and failures, but also how I overcame them. People who were hurting needed to read this book.

Each journal seemed to fit perfectly into a chapter. I kept going for almost another year to finish writing. When I did, I was out looking for a publisher. I was surprised when several were interested. It was hard to do that in this day and age.

I picked out my publisher and had the book printed.

The title of my first book is, Signs Of Hope: Ways to Survive in an unfriendly world.

That book went on to win a National Award from, The Reader’s Choice Awards. I was able to put Award winning Author on all of my books.

_______________________________________________

Now, of course I am almost finished with my second book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

I have told you in earlier posts that I have some powerful endorsements coming in for the book. I have a General. Several Colonels. A CEO for a nonprofit called Victory for Veterans. Several WWII veterans, and more.

_______________________________________________

I encourage you to read some earlier posts. They are full of information about the book. Some endorsement are there as well.

I have a publisher interested, and I have already checked them out. I think we will be a great team. If I go with them this week, the book should be out on January.

Come back to see exactly when it will be published.

_______________________________________________

My favorite times is now where I check to see how you are doing. You are a brother or sister to me, and I want what is best for you.

However, is there times when you feel like I did in 2001? Is the world spinning too fast? Too many burdens on your shoulders? You certainly are not alone my friend. There are over 9,770 fellow veterans on this site, and everyone of them have your back. But if it getting too overwhelming for you, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that is 24/7. There are Highly qualified counselors there to help you. They will not hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255 Option # 1

________________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never ever, give up!
_________________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit for the site, please let them know about it. Your comments will not be seen by other people, just me, and I will connect with you to see if you are OK to share it.

I Wanted to Check out of this Hotel Called Earth

I will be changing the format on my author site. I need to get back to sharing with you about my book, Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.

In about two weeks the book will be officially in the marketplace.

It has been a hard, long road I have traveled to get to this point. I started writing, Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World, almost ten years ago. It will be ten years next March.

Why did I start writing the book? I am glad you asked.

I was at the end of my rope. I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt the ship sinking and I didn’t have a life jacket.

I was having weekly pity parties, and no one was showing up to help me celebrate.  I was fighting self-doubt, anxiety, fear, failure, depression, hopelessness, and the many other usual suspects.

I was ready to check out of the hotel called earth.

I was in a school parking lot on March 31st 2001 sitting in my Ford Explorer considering suicide. I didn’t want to face the trails of life any more.

I had retired from teacher, and was going from one job after another searching for something that I could feel good about after retirement. Nothing was working for me. I failed at each job I partook in. I even started my own business of find funds for businesses when they needed some while waiting for their invoices from costumers to come in. That failed because I couldn’t see taking money from them when they desperately needed cash at that time.

Every job I tried I needed to try to convince people of getting something they may not need. I worked at a department store in the housewares department. I sold pots and pans, coffeemakers, knifes, etc. I was pretty good at it. I even earned a seven day free trip to a health spa for me and my wife because of my efforts.

One Christmas Eve, I was working the late shift. I noticed that there weren’t any women shopping in my area. It was all guys desperately looking for something for their wives at the last minute. I had a field day. I came up to a guy and asked him if I could help him, and he said, Yes! please find something for my wife for christmas. I can’t think of anything! I saw dollar signs in my head, and directed him to the sets of pans. I convinced him his wife would love a $500.00 set of new pans.

There were several men just like him wandering around, lost in my section. I sold something to eveyone of them. I set a record for sales that night. They bought from me because I was  a man and they trusted me.

I went home that night and wondered, What have I done? I sold a bunch of men something their wives probably didn’t need just so I could make another sale. I was very upset with myself, and quite the job a couple of weeks later.

( Men…never buy your wife something for the kitchen at Christmas. Go down to the jewelry department. You will be rewarded much more if you do that.)

So I went on like this, going from one job after another in sales. The last sales job I had was in leasing, and the same nightmare was forming while doing that. I was trying to have someone lease something when it may be better to buy it outright.

I hit rock bottom on March 31st. I drove to that parking lot I told you about. I was sobbing so much I could hardly see out the window of the rig. I stopped and parked, and was on verge of doing something very drastic.

I finally cried out to God, “I can’t take this anymore!” There was a sudden calmness inside my rig, and in me. The air even seemed different. It was as if God was saying, “It is about time you came back to me. Now let me carry you the rest of the way.”

The rest is history. I started writing Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World, a couple of weeks later.

It took me almost ten years to get my thoughts down, and organized. There were doubts along they way. Satan did every he could to stop me, but I prevailed, and now you have to chance to read my story and learn for yourself how to survive in a not so friendly world.

I hope you will read it and let me know what you think of it. I have been blessed with some very impressive endorsements written in the book. I have had many authors and important people in the publishing world recommend the book.

You can preorder Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World, and save 27% by going to www.winepresspublishing.com. Go to the top and click on “bookstore.” Write in the search area, “Signs of Hope.” That will take you right to my book page. The book will only cost $14.59 there for a short time, and then it will be $19.99 once it is public. Take advantage of that now.

God bless you nad NEVER give up. Fight back the attacks of Satan and turn to God to supply you with all the armor you need to survive.