Category: spouses vital to their loved ones

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Spouses Are a Critical part of the Military life

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Military news…

The U.S. military is looking for ways to make night vision goggles even more badass, like by making them as lightweight and compact as a pair of regular eyeglasses.

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There’s an abandoned Air Force base with underground tunnels for sale on Facebook right now.

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Two Marines died and 17 were injured in a vehicle rollover accident on a highway near Camp Lejeune, North Carolina on Wednesday.

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“It is still hard to say goodbye to a unit that has so completely defined the experience of being a Marine.” That’s from Marine Lt. Gen. James Bierman, who wrote a memo about the pending deactivation of the legendary 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marines.

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A soldier was beheaded at Fort Bragg over a year ago. The Army still doesn’t know why.

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Russian troops move into Belarus, DOD officials weigh options should Ukraine be invaded
A State Department official said Tuesday that an invasion of Ukraine could now come from its northern border with Belarus after Russian troops were moved into that country for military drills.

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Military services enlisted fewer but better qualified recruits at outset of coronavirus pandemic in 2020, study finds

The Pentagon took in fewer recruits in 2020 than in prior years as the coronavirus pandemic swept across the globe, but those accepted into the military were generally of higher quality than in recent years.

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British C-17s carrying arms to Ukraine fly around German airspace

British C-17 cargo planes carrying anti-tank missile systems have been dispatched to Ukraine, bypassing German airspace in the process in an apparent effort to expedite the delivery of the hardware.

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Here is a very vital chapter from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

Military Spouses Have a Huge Task

“Military counts on spouses more than any other job.”

Chief of Staff of the Army, General Ray Odierno (Retired)

One of the toughest situations in the military has to be for a spouse who is left behind during a time of deployment.

I was single when I was deployed to Korea. I was married for only a couple of months before I got out of the military, so I don’t have firsthand experience about this. But I have read many different spouses’ thoughts regarding how it was for them to be at home alone to take on all the tasks by themselves. This chapter will discuss their thoughts and hopefully give you some insight into the world of being a spouse at home during a deployment.

I guess the most important place to start is noting that there are both male and female spouses who are left behind to “hold down the fort,” while their loved one is gone. There are many wives/mothers who are deployed as well as husbands/fathers.

I have found that it may be a little harder for the man who is left behind for a couple of reasons. The most glaring one is the friend circle, or the lack of it. Men often don’t have a very big circle of other male spouses of deployed wives to share their struggles and frustrations with.

They also have to face the few (who, in my opinion, are uneducated) who look down on a man who stays behind and isn’t on the front lines himself. They are ignorant of the fact that in the real world many mothers go off to work and the dad is “Mr. Mom.”

There is no shame in this anymore than in a wife staying home and caring for the children and household.

In general what follows is what either male or female parents go through to survive in the home environment.

It seems they are always at their limit. They need to get kids off to school. Need to clean the house. Take time to do the bills. They are off to the grocery store. Pick up the kids at school. Take them to soccer practice. Pick them up afterwards. Prepare all the meals. Take out the trash. Do the laundry, and put the kids to bed.

I could list many other things the at-home spouse must do, but what I have written so far leads to a very stressful day. As a matter of fact it can be downright overwhelming.

As if all of these concerns weren’t enough, they also worry about their spouse who may be in harm’s way. They worry about enough money coming in to support the family. They may have to get jobs to help out, which leads to daycare issues or older children being home alone at times.

Speaking of the children, they seem strong. They seem to be coping better than the spouses in most cases. However, there are the times they realize their other parent isn’t around and they miss them. They begin to cry and need hugs and love.

It is extremely important that there is a circle of friends for support, male or female. Those friends shouldn’t just say, “How’s your day?” and not really mean it. They need to actually want to know how your day is. They need to sit and listen when you need them.

The distance (both emotional and geographic) between them and their spouse can be very hard. There are missed moments. There are lonely nights. There are times they are angry because they have to make so many of the decisions.

Then when the spouse returns after a long deployment, the dynamics and rhythms of home life have often changed as the at-home spouse carries the load. That can make the re-introduction of the military person into the home a bit awkward.

How about when the spouse is home? Sounds like a perfect situation, except everything depends on what the military wants. It’s hard trying to plan leaves and vacations and special occasions. They often have to be postponed at a moment’s notice.

The on-duty military spouse also may have long hours, even up to 12- to 14-hour days. The family may feel as if the parent is still deployed even though he or she is home.

One of the hardest parts for a military family is the constant moving from one location to another. Every two to three years, they have to pack up everything and move. Each family member loses a circle of friends at the old duty post and then has to make new ones at the next location. This occurs many times during an active military person’s time of service.

There is also the problem of the spouse finding a job at the new duty post. With each move, the spouse has to start at the bottom at their place of employment—if they can find a job and/or are actually over-qualified for an entry-level position. Often employers don’t want to hire someone who will probably be leaving in a couple of years. Sometimes the spouse has to settle for a less-than-ideal job in order to contribute to the family’s finances. 

And when the military says it’s time to go to a new duty post, the non-military spouse is often the one to shoulder the details of the move. I can speak from personal knowledge on this since my daughter-in-law is married to my son who was an Army officer. They moved more than 15 times during his time in the military. They often had to pack up their belongings in a U-Haul and travel sometimes thousands of miles and unload at the other end. My daughter-in-law often had to find the new home before they moved and make all the arrangements. She spent endless hours cleaning, packing, and planning the trip.

One of the toughest times for the military family is the holidays. It’s hard if the family is unable to see the extended family at this time of year. And it’s doubly hard on the family if a parent is deployed. At Christmas, the kids really feel sad because Mom or Dad isn’t there to open presents with them. This is when the at-home spouse really has to be brave and do whatever they can to smooth this time over.

Trying to find happiness in a military family during deployment is tough at best, but I received a note from a woman who told me, “Other people are not responsible for your happiness.” That tough-love statement is very true. We can’t expect other people to make us happy. We need to find our own happiness, and hope that our spouses will also help us in finding that happiness.

In concluding this chapter, I want you to know that many spouses don’t cry because they are weak. They cry because they miss their spouse. Part of that is because they wake up every day wondering if their spouse is still alive.

So to all of you, who are friends and family of those in the military, be sure to tell the military person thank you, but also tell the spouse thank you. They are heroes too.

As in every walk of life, God is the constant force to turn to during stressful times. He is close and hears your cries for help. He will give you comfort, and help you through the daily trials you face.

IWILL

This chapter was one of the hardest for me to write. My heart goes out to those who are left behind. I mentioned my daughter-in-law earlier, and I must say she was an angel in disguise for my son during his military career. She never faltered. She was always by his side. She supported him 100 percent 24/7. I can speak for my son in saying that it would have been a tough road to travel if he hadn’t had her by his side, encouraging him and loving him.

Think about this Isn’t it interesting how some people go unnoticed who are really the wind beneath your wings?

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Come back often to see other excerpts. Better yet…go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do lal future posts will go directly to your inbox.

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Checking in on you…How are you doing? Are you struggling?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 13,650 fellow veterans here who have your back.

If you are battling mentally, because of your love for others, but it isn’t working, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will no hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

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Military Deployment Can Be Very Hard on a Family

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“I’m just a terp sir … If I charged him, God knows how long it’s gonna take for this to be over.” That’s from an interpreter who accused a Green Beret of sexually assaulting her in Thailand.

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The Army is offering new recruits an even bigger bonus to blow on irresponsible sh-t.

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The top Air Force recruiter compared his command’s progress this year to Apollo 13, the 1970 NASA mission where three astronauts nearly died.

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“I think it is a combat experienced force; but it’s not a combat-tested force.” That’s from Russia expert and retired Army Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, who gave his take on how the Russian army would perform should it invade Ukraine.

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Russia, US hold working dinner to open Geneva talks
A top Russian diplomat predicted “difficult” talks with the United States this week after attending a working dinner with U.S. officials in Geneva on Sunday.

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Fort Bliss judge delays court-martial of soldier charged with death of a child

Col. Robert Schuck, a judge in the Army’s 4th Judicial Circuit, issued a continuance late Friday for Sgt. Justin Cope, who is charged in the death of a child in El Paso in 2019.

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Nearly 8,000 detained in Kazakhstan over violent protests

Nearly 8,000 people in Kazakhstan were detained by police during protests that descended into violence last week.

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Yet another excerpt from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches’ of Life.

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Deployment Can Be Very Hard on the Military Family

As parents get deployed in the military, there is a void created. The children are left without a mother or father to have for love and guidance. So remember, it can also be very hard on the children as well.

As for the boys in a family there is a need for a father figure to help show them the way. A father can help him acquire knowledge and confidence he needs.

There is a time when a boy needs to seek out his father for attention. There is a need for someone to play catch with, to wrestle with.

I didn’t have a dad that came home each night to give me a hug and share my day with. My parents divorced when I was only about six years old.

My mother called me her “little one,” when I was very young.

I needed a dad to say, Hi Ace, or How’s it going today champ? I never heard that. It was like my dad was deployed to somewhere else, but he was never coming back.  

My mother was my only comfort zone. She had to be the one that showed interest in me. She was the only one who could support me when I needed it. She was my protector, but I needed someone to show me the excitement outside the realm of our home. My mother worked long hours and was very tired when she came home each day.

My mother did teach me toughness. She allowed me to play with toy guns, Beebe guns, and let me play with GI Joe figures. She did this because three of her brothers fought in World War II.  

I didn’t have a dad to go fishing with. That was probably the most glaring thing missing in my childhood. I loved to fish, but didn’t have the proper skills to know how to do it. My Uncle Paul taught me how to fish, but he was a farmer and didn’t have the freedom to go with me during the summer months because that was the busiest time for him. So I grew up fishing by myself. I needed a dad to get excited with me as I pulled in a fish.  

Today, I go fishing with my two sons often, and there is a special bonding there. Now I need to learn how to spend more time with my daughter, and come up with different ways of bonding with her.

Speaking of daughters, they also need their father or mother to be there for them. Sometimes it is the mother who is deployed, and the father becomes “Mr. Mom.”

He needs to find ways to give his daughter the love she needs without mom around. He needs to join in her fantasy tea parties. He needs to allow her to paint his fingernails a special color. She may even want to give dad a perm. No one expects a mother or father to be perfect in a military home. But you should do whatever you can to keep the family united and happy.

One of the happiest times for a military family is when their loved one comes home. I just watched some videos of surprise home visits that no one knew was coming. To see the joy in the children’s eyes and the tears in a wife’s eye make anyone who is half sane to cry for joy as well.

So many months of separation. So many times of loneliness and sadness from missing their loved one came to a screeching end in one moment.

IWILL

I can’t totally relate to each of you that have a family member deployed, and thus causing a mother or father to be absent. However, I did have a broken home when I was little and possibly I did feel the same hurts, and lost moments.

My heart cries out to you, and I hope that you remain strong, and show confidence to your children through a trial that hopefully will only last for a while.

Think about this

Isn’t it true that a family that prays together stays together?

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I know many of you went through this. I know how you feel. I was deployed too.

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If you want to see more excerpts from the book keep coming back. Better yet… go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox.

____________________________________________

Checking in on you…How are you doing? Are you struggling being deployed?

FEAR NOT!

There are over 13,640 fellow veterans here who have your back.

If you are battling mentally, because of your love for others, but it isn’t working, GET HELP!!

Here is a toll free number that you can call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will no hang up until they know you are OK.

1-800-273-8255…texting 838255.

_____________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

_____________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

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Happiness in the Military is Sometimes Hard to Find

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

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Military news…

“I got an award and I don’t even know if I deserve it … I’d give it back in a second if I could get the soldiers back.” That’s from Sgt. Maj. of the Army Michael Grinston, who spoke about the hard losses he and his men went through together in Iraq, where Grinston earned a reputation as both a bullet magnet and a true follower of the Ranger Creed.

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Speaking of space, did you know that the first song performed live in space was ‘Jingle Bells?’ The first performers were two U.S. military pilots who wanted to troll Mission Control with some Christmas merriment.

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The military’s efforts to weed out white supremacists and other extremist groups are finally showing some teeth now that the Pentagon has expanded what constitutes “active participation” in extremist activities,.

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Air Force Discharges 27 For Refusal to Get COVID Vaccine

The Air Force has discharged 27 people for refusing to get the COVID-19 vaccine, making them what officials believe are the first service members to be removed for disobeying the vaccination mandate.

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Female Ex-pilot in Afghan Military Surfaces in U.S., Defying Rumors That She Had Been Killed 

An Afghan woman who was one of the few female pilots in her country’s air force corrected a rumor that she had been killed by the Taliban, saying she’s resettled on the West Coast.

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103 Marines Already Separated For Refusing COVID-19 Vaccine

At least 103 Marines have been separated from the Marine Corps for refusing to get vaccinated against COVID-19, the service said Thursday.

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The Pentagon Doesn’t Know How Many Hazing Incidents Happen in the Military, Watchdog Finds

Five years after a Muslim-American recruit died by suicide days after joining Marine Corps boot camp, launching the discovery of hazing scandals, the Pentagon still doesn’t keenly track abuse in the ranks, a government watchdog found.

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Sharing another excerpt from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the MIlitary: In and Out of the trenches of Life.

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Happiness is a Choice

It is a well-known fact that most people are as happy as they choose to be. People go through life allowing depression to overcome them to the point that they are incapacitated. Even presidents have trouble with depression. Can you imagine the daily stress they have? It is non- stop.

Abraham Lincoln once considered suicide, he was so depressed. One of the greatest times he remembered while was in office was when a little old lady came to see him at the White House, and gave him some cookies she had made. He thanked her, and said it was one of the greatest moments of his tenure. A very little gesture, but it brightened a person’s life that was battling depression and life in general.

Some people accept depression because they think they deserve it. They feel they have done something wrong and this is their punishment. I had some of those days myself. I often thought I must deserve this if I keep having it happen to me.

This world is not the Disney Channel anymore. It’s Law and Order. There are many battles to fight, and many fronts.

Many people try to find happiness to overcome depressions and they fail. Why?

Because so many people think a fancy car, a big house on a hill, or owning a yacht, will give them happiness, and “things,” do not give us happiness.  We also seek happiness through sexual prowess, but end up with fleeting pleasures and bitter disappointments.

We try to seek power in corporations, in government, or in their own families through excessive control, but still many are unfulfilled seeking happiness.  

What are they missing? They are missing inner peace and joy.

How do we fine that inner peace and joy? It is from the love of God who provides us with all the love and understanding we need.

While we spend time in the military, or many years afterwards, we need to know that the path to true happiness isn’t from “things” we own, or people we control, it is found through searching our own souls, and coming up with ways to reach out to those around us, and when we feel the love, they return it back to us.

That is happiness!

IWILL

I spent too many years of my life trying to do whatever I could to be accepted. I would go way out of my way to let someone know that I was a person, and needed love. What I didn’t know is that love is very powerful, and if you just share that love with someone they will return it and provide you with all the happiness you need.

Think about this

Isn’t it funny how we sometimes think we aren’t accepted and it is because we didn’t ask?

There will be a few more excerpts coming up so keep coming back to check them out. Better yet… go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox.

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Bed check. How are you doing? Do you have dreams about your service time? Are they nightmares?

FEAR NOT!!

There are over 13,530 fellow veterans subscribed to this site who have your back.

If the dreams just too much for you right now, GET HELP!

Here is a toll free number to call 24/7. There are highly qualified counselors there to help you, and they will not hang up until the know you are OK.

1-800-272-8255..texting 838255.

__________________________________________

Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

___________________________________________

+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.