Category: marriage

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Do you Feel Unwanted and Unaccepted?

I wanted to remind you about the exciting new book promotion that is going on.  Brandilyn Collin’s book, Eyes of Elisha, is now the book that will be given away in a free drawing. Brandilyn is one of the top Christian mystery, and suspense writers in the business. Brandilyn even graciously autographed the book.

To have a chance to win this book got to the right side bar, and click on the icon that talks about subscribing to my free newsletter. When you subscribe you are also in all future drawing for free books.

You will also see that when you subscribe you will be able to download a free eBook called,  The Top 25 Ways to Survive in a Troubled World.

So you get a free newsletter with excerpts from my book, Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World. You can download a free eBook, and you have many chances to win top selling books, with autographs in them.

________________________________________

 

Don’t Put a Question Mark Where God Has Put a Period

 

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,

neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us

from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38–39

 

I wrote a letter to my kids and sent it to them by e-mail. I wanted to talk to them about acceptance. This is something I had trouble with for many years. I never knew if God really loved me.

 

May 12, 2005

Guys (and gals):

I have been thinking again (and I know that is dangerous!), but I want to share some thoughts with the most important people in my life.

            As you can agree, I have spent much of my life seeking love and acceptance. It had been a constant struggle for me to feel like I am a person of self-worth. I always rode a roller coaster. I would do great for a while, and then I would be in serious trouble with deep depression.

I had an incident last week, and it was the worst timing. It was on our wedding anniversary. I was out of control. I couldn’t stop crying. It took a heavy toll on Charlotte, but she was beside me the whole time, letting me know she was there for me.

Why did I allow myself to feel unwanted, and unloved?????

I knew I was a Christian, but I didn’t know I was ACCEPTED by God because of my past sins. It is one thing to ask for forgiveness, but another to feel that God will accept you for some of the things you have done in the past. I knew He loved me, but did He accept me?

            Let me give you guys an illustration:

            I love you very much, but have you always known I accepted you? I know you are sure that I love you, but acceptance could be another thing. It would be easy for me as a father to wish that each of you had become a lawyer, or a doctor, and that those professions would let me accept you more.

RUBBISH!!! I accept you as you are. I accept what you have done with your lives, and how your lives have turned out. It means unconditional love—AND unconditional acceptance!!!

            That is exactly what I was struggling with!!! I knew God loved me, but did He accept me? I fell down every time I did just a little sin. I decided that I am not worthy of His love or acceptance.

            The Bible has helped me a great deal with this. Greg and I have been hearing wonderful sermons on acceptance and love from God at Morning Star Community Church. I am also going to a Bible study on Monday nights, plus I am doing a great deal of reading. What is happening is that this 66-year-old dad of yours has finally come out of his cocoon, and is becoming a butterfly. It was a struggle, but I see many more good days than bad days, and it is getting better as I read God’s Word. I needed to feel righteous in God’s eyes, and I felt I was failing at that.

            Let me give you another illustration I read in a book:

            A man was doing a seminar with a group of men and he started his seminar with these questions:

“How may of you are as righteous in the sight of God as I am?” Every hand was raised.

“How many of you are as righteous as Billy Graham?” About half of the group raised their hands.

“How about the Apostle Paul?” About 10% raised their hands. 

He then asked the final tough question: “How many of you feel you are as righteous as Jesus Christ?” Only three hands went up in the whole place!!!

            Now the question could be how could those three people raise their hands? No one could be as righteous as Jesus!

            He blew them away by saying, “If you are a true Christian, then you are as righteous as Jesus.”

He just had to read one passage from the Bible to clarify what he meant: “For if, by the trespass of one man [Adam], death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of THE GIFT OF RIGHTEOUSNESS reign in life through one man, Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:17 (emphasis mine) 1

Righteousness is a gift. WE DO NOT HAVE TO EARN IT!!!

            What that is telling me is that if I accepted Jesus as my Savior, I am accepted, and I am as righteous as He is as long as I stay in His love.

            A word in the Bible is “justified.” It comes up a lot in the New Testament. In Greek, it means “totally righteous.” Jesus used it often to say, “You are totally justified to be in the Kingdom of God by believing in me.”

            It is that simple!!

            We are loved! We are accepted just as we are!!! We are righteous, because Jesus is righteous!!!

I feed on these thoughts daily now. I want you to know that you are loved! You are accepted just as you are, and you are righteous because of your commitment to the Lord!!!

Love,

                                                                                                            Dad

 

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,

yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken.

Isaiah 54:10

 

Further adventures

Parents, think about your own children. How do they perceive you as parents? Do they accept you for who you are, and love you unconditionally? Perhaps they don’t see you that way. What could you do to change that outlook? A Bible-based home with Christian values can make a big change in your whole family. It is up to you to take the first step.

Young people, do your parents accept you? If they do not, what do you think is happening? What steps could you take to turn that feeling around? Do you have peace in your own heart that Jesus accepts you? If not, seek Him right now. Ask Him to forgive you for any past sins you may have committed, and then you know you are accepted by your heavenly Father if not by your earthly father.

 

Something to ponder

Isn’t it funny that when your newly born child first holds your finger in their little fist, you are hooked for life?

1 Classic Christianity: Life is Too Short to Miss the Real Thing, Bob George, 1989, pp. 99–101, Harvest House Publishers, Inc., Eugene, Oregon 97402

(Excerpt from: Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World. Chapter 11.)

Posted on

Trying to be Macho, or Independent, can Lead to Trouble

I wanted to remind you about the exciting new book promotion that is going on.  Brandilyn Collin’s book, Eyes of Elisha, is now the book that will be given away in a free drawing. Brandilyn is one of the top Christian mystery, and suspense writers in the business. Brandilyn even graciously autographed the book.

To have a chance to win this book got to the right side bar, and click on the icon that talks about subscribing to my free newsletter. When you subscribe you are also in all future drawing for free books.

You will also see that when you subscribe you will be able to download a free eBook called,  The Top 25 Ways to Survive in a Troubled World.

So you get a free newsletter with excerpts from my book, Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World. You can download a free eBook, and you have many chances to win top selling books, with autographs in them.

_________________________________________________

 

Trying to Make it Without God

 

It is very interesting to me how we think they can go through their daily routines, and survive without the help of God. People have gotten to a place where they do not want to depend on anyone else during their crises, or troubled times.

Why is it that someone can look you in the eye and tell you, “I can make it on my own?” You do not need to worry about me. Is it some kind of macho thing with men, and a worry of losing control for women and men?

I have learned that it is impossible to do my work unless I use the power of Jesus. I fear the unknown. I often have to face physical challenges. I see doors closing. I am not sure what I am suppose to do next in my life. Who should I turn to?

It is now easy for me to answer that question. I turn ALL of my concerns over the Jesus. He is walking with me down my path of life. He looks ahead and clears things for me. He helps me make decisions on hard issues. He is there when I have a physical need. He gives me directions when I am at a crossroad.

It is so easy to get complacent, and think we are tough, and reseleant. The truth is we will walk into the muck and mire if we do not have Jesus there to tell us which ways to go and what things to do.

If you are floundering, and in a spot where you have no where to turn to. talk to Jesus. If you haven’t accepted Him as your persoanl Savior, do it right now.

All you have to do is say this short prayer: “Lord, forgive me for any sins that may keep me from your love. I know I have not been as good a person as you would like for me to be. Thank you for dying for me on the cross, and I accept you as my personal Savior. In your Holy name, Amen.”

It is that easy. BUT it is not that easy from this moment on if you accepted Jesus into your heart. Statan is one very upset dude right now. He had you under his skin and he wants you back. You will face many tough trials and temptations. Find a friend that can be your earthly guardian angel. Call them when you are tempted. Call them several times  a day if you have to.

Things that may cause you to falter are:

anxiety, fear, self doubt, depression, addicatons, hoplessness, low self esteem, and many more that I know you can think of that I have not mentioned. Turn every one of them over to Jesus. He will carry you the rest of the way.

If you have any commets, please feel free to let me know.

 

Doug

 

Posted on

Stop Racing in the Rat Race. Listen to God

 Before you read today’s post, I want to make an exciting announcement. We have a new book that will be given away in a drawing. The book is called, Eyes of Elisha, written by Brandilyn Collins. Brandilyn is argubaly the number one Christian mystery and suspense writer in today’s market for novels.

I was very fortunate to win this book in one of Brandilyn’s drawings for free books. I also won one of her books in an earlier drawing, but that one is under lock and key.

This is your chance to win a top selling book with the auther’s autograph in it. It will be a huge collectors item.

To have a chance to win this great book, go to the right side bar and click on the icon that talks about subscribing tom my free newsletter.

You will notice that you will also be able to download a free eBook called, The Top 25 Ways to Survive in a troubled World.

So….. you get a free newsletter that will have excerpts for my book, Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World. 

You will also be in all future drawings for book with top selling authors that have their autographs in them.

AND you get a free eBook called, The Top 25 Ways to Survive in a troubled World.

Lots to gain and nothing to lose.

___________________________________________________

 

  He Who Kneels Before God Can Stand Before Anyone

 

I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer.

Psalm 17:6

 

It seems that everyone is on the fast track these days. You get passed by cars even though you are going the speed limit. The commuter trains are jammed full. Everyone you see has a cell phone up to their ear.

Some call it the “rat race.” However, even rats stop whenever they want to.

We feel like we need to climb the ladder of success. Some do it in such a way that anyone in their way will be stepped on. They don’t realize that each step on the ladder is made of paper, and although they may make it up to the top, the trip back down is very fast! You can be king of the mountain today, but you could be a has-been in the valley tomorrow.

I think back to a time when things weren’t so frantic—to a time when you could lie in your front yard and watch the clouds go by; a time when you could play with your dog; a time when you had a leisurely barbeque in the backyard and everyone in the neighborhood was there; a time when there was just your wife and you and no children.

Those were the days, my friend, and you thought they would never end. And they weren’t just the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer—much of life went at that pace. Then you noticed you didn’t have time to lie in the front yard. You were too busy mowing it and trying to keep it looking better than the neighbors’ lawn. You stopped having pets around because no one was home long enough to care for them. And the barbequewas long ago replaced by a quick waveto our neighbors and food from the drive-through. What’s a barbeque???

You now have three children—and they are very costly. Two are in college, and the other needs new equipment to be able to play on the school football team.

Are you on the fast track? Instead of a racing on an oval track, are you simply going in circles? Is there no end to the cycle?

Did you know that the oceans even stop to rest? They flow back and forth every day, but there is a short time when they reach their peak and do not flow anywhere. They stay still for about half an hour and then they start to flow the other direction. It is called high tide.

When you go crabbing (a sport, not an attitude!), you see the rope line to your trap going one direction and then at high tide the rope slacks and even disappears down into the water. Then when the ocean starts up again, the rope does a complete turn and heads the other direction.

I know how it is to feel we can’t take the time for even a short pause like the ocean does each day. It seems we feel we have to keep going no matter what. We feel driven—we are driven.

I know what that’s like. I’ve been there. I have wanted to be near the top. I have wanted to be more important. I have wanted; I have wanted; I have wanted.

Then one day I read this in the Bible: “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). That hit me right between my “wanting to be important” eyes. God cares more about my spending quiet time with Him in prayer than He does about how important I am.

Think about this: A thousand years from now, will it matter how important you were in this world? Will it matter what title you were given? How hard you worked for that title? Nope. The meek (not the “top bananas”) will inherit the earth. Your success and your money do not go with you to the cemetery.

Instead of fame and fortune to pass on to our children, God wants our legacy to be a quiet and humble spirit that waits on Him.

When I really understood Psalm 46:10 for the first time, I realized that I needed to slow down, take time for prayer, and spend more time with God. I needed less time in the rat race.

“But I don’t know how to pray; I don’t know what to pray for,” is a common lament. Romans 8:26 says, “We do not know what we ought to pray for” and that “the Spirit himself intercedes for us.” Paul was talking about people who feel just like us. And in other places, Paul says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6) and “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

You can pray for your children, your parents, your church and your neighbors (even the one with the dog who barks all day!). How about something unique? Pray for yourself. God doesn’t think we’re being selfish when we pray for ourselves. He wants to hear about our hurts and our concerns.

God doesn’t turn anyone away. He didn’t turn away Moses. He didn’t turn David away. He listened to Job. He listened to Sarah. He listened to Doug. He will listen to you.

God listened to me. I learned what a comforting feeling it was to have my heavenly Father listening to my cries. He spent hours with me helping me through some very tough times. The times I thought I wasn’t going to live to my next breath, He was there to help me through the storm.

Asking God to be on our side is like living in a muddy polluted river and suddenly having fresh water flow into it. It may take awhile for it to completely clear up, but with God’s help and our prayers, it can be a rich productive river again.

 

Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

Ephesians 6:18

 

Further Adventures

I remember when I first started coming out of the web of fear and anxiety I was stuck in for many years. The web kept pulling on me trying to keep me from getting away. I struggled because I wanted to finally be free. It was an exhausting, hard fought battle. Little by little I was able to get my arms free, and then my legs. Finally I was able finally able to leap into the loving arms of God. You can do the same thing. It will not be easy to rid the poisonous bite of the spider (Satan.) He will try to suck all the energy out of you even though you are struggling to free yourself. Turn to God, and let Him stamp the life out of the spider. Let Him put new loving blood flowing through you. Once you are free and strong again, He will be there to protect you from all enemies for the rest of your life on earth,

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny that the faster we go the more behind we get?

 

(Excerpt from Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World. Chapter 18)