Boredom and Loneliness Haunt Veterans

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Doug Bolton, the founder of the blog, Signs of Hope, which is at www.dailysignsofhope.com, has written a new book, “Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.” It reaches out the many military and veterans who may be battling anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, rejections, and the many other usual suspects. There are 22 military connected suicides every day. That is almost one every hour. Doug wants to help stop those statistics.  

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This is a new social network just for veterans. I joined it and made instant friendships with veterans who want to talk about what I want to talk about. Please check it out. You will be glad you did. 

https://www.rallypoint.com/join/spc-douglas-bolton

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One of the hardest problems veterans face is what happens after transition. This article may help you survive. 

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Veterans face a variety of problems once they leave the service. Whether it’s accurate or not, many veterans feel life is a little harder for them than for most people. But what if a big part of the problem wasn’t so much PTSD or poor transition assistance — at least not directly — but rather loneliness and boredom?

From being under a microscope to being unseen

The best and worst thing about being in the military is that it is all-consuming. It provides you with a place to be and a time to be there, pretty much 24/7/365.

You spend several months at a time deployed. When you get home, you work long hours, so that takes care of a good part of your day. Then you’ve got frost calls at the club on Fridays after work. Another weekend that month you have duty. The next there’s a mandatory fun event of some kind. Your next door neighbors are military too, so they invite you over for dinner every so often.

For better or worse, while you’re in the military, you’re always busy and rarely alone.

In the civilian world, after you walk out the glass doors, no one cares what you do. Outside of blatant misconduct that might discredit your employer, they generally don’t care much about how you live your life. They sure aren’t going to have you sit in an auditorium for eight hours on a workday to talk about why you should wear more sunscreen.

Shot gunning into civilian life is lonely in the best of times

Once you have that DD-214 in hand, your social network changes. Chances are you’ll get a job in a whole new city. Once you’re there, you’re no longer in that protective military cocoon. Your neighbors come and go silently to wherever it is they go. On one side, you have a college student whose parents pay his rent and who apparently commutes by skateboard. On the other, who the hell knows, because you’ve never seen anyone enter or leave — just vague signs of occupancy. You think there might be a serial killer with a torture dungeon living there.

It’s definitely not like the barracks, or even a typical neighborhood street in a military town.

If you do stay around your old duty station, your military friends will still have the demanding schedule you just left — plus you’re probably a sellout contractor, with the logoed polo shirt to prove it. Even if you decide to go back to your old hometown, you aren’t the same person as when you left. Unless you’re picking up that dead-end job right where you left off, you no longer fit in there, either.

Your new coworkers generally scatter to the winds after work. Unlike your previous semi-homogeneous band of mostly young male brothers, now you have a diverse group with lives as different as their backgrounds.

If you’re single or divorced, it’s even worse. You can’t party with the Friday night crowd unless you want to be the sad old guy in the club. If you don’t have children or they don’t usually live with you, you probably aren’t plugged into the whole kids soccer scene (and it would be a little disturbing if you were). Most of your peers are married, so if you aren’t, you probably aren’t going to be hanging out much. No one likes a third wheel. As far as meeting other middle-aged single folks, that guy who spotted you on the bench press at the gym was really cool, but it seemed weird to ask him to hang out after staring up at his crotch for 10 reps.

Falling into a cycle of self-isolation

When you get home you usually have nothing to do. At first, that fills you with sublime joy, but after awhile, having nothing and no one to fill the off-time becomes old. Some people handle that better than others.

Unfortunately, charming old-fashioned solitary pursuits such as painting, solitaire, and playing soulful jazz piano at dirty gin joints are far less common pursuits than things like excessive drinking and internet use. Both of those things are addictive, but they do temporarily relieve boredom and loneliness.

In the case of drinking, without anyone else to watch what you’re doing, that couple of beers after coming home from work easily becomes 3 or 4, maybe even 5 or 6. You aren’t trying to get shitfaced. You’re just hanging out, watching Netflix or playing video games, while sipping a beer. But sipping beers for several hours quickly adds up, even if you’re not trying. Vets have much greater rates of alcohol abuse than the general public.

Then there’s the internet, that great time-suck. It’s the refuge of the lonely, offering instant connections with people around the world. But that virtual companionship can destabilize your remaining relationships in real life.

For vets in particular, there’s a temptation to rekindle camaraderie on any number of vicious and misogynistic social media pages. An online life devoted to mocking civilians and treating women poorly is even more isolating — after shitting on every non-vet, and even vets who don’t live up to your standard (oh good, another POG hatefest), are you really going to go out, be friendly, and find new friends in real life?

Though I’ve wasted too many hours on social media, I’ve never thrown in with the vitriolic Facebook groups. But I see enough reposts of those groups from many of my old colleagues to know that it’s clearly a thing.

As far as alcohol, I’ve had more than my share of beers in a sitting enough times to know that I need to keep an eye on that, if for no other reason than my waistline. Along those lines, there are many other unhealthy time-killers, like overeatingsmoking, and dipping that vets are especially prone to.

Admit you’re lonely. But you’re not alone

The plural of anecdote isn’t data. But it’s indisputable that loneliness and boredom have profound effects on health and wellbeing. I can’t help but wonder if a large portion of the acute mental illness and substance abuse problems among vets might really be just the long-term products of poor social networks after leaving the military.

Some of the military’s and VA’s organizational efforts would be well spent in finding earlier interventions on that front, instead of waiting until vets’ lives go completely sideways.

And on the individual level, it’s just another good reminder to take care of each other. Taking an interest in each other’s lives isn’t a cure-all for our issues, but it does help remind us: We’re not as alone as we think.

If you are struggling with life after the military. You are never alone. We have your six. Get help. Here is a toll free number you can always go to to get help:

1-800-273-8255

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all….never, ever, give up!

A firing for Harassing Student with USMC Shirt

Thanks to all of you who have been joining me here. We help bring change to lives. The response has been wonderful.  We just past 4,000 new subscribers. That was a huge increase in 2017. We only had 1,000 two years ago. The year 2017 helped us to make it to 4,000. Now in 2018 we are racing to 5,000. 

We have reached our goal of 4,000!  We will now be giving a prize to the person who is our 4,500th person to subscribe. We just passed 4, 600.

WE HAVE A WINNER!! An email has been sent to our winner! New prizes for the 5,000th subscriber.

Help us make it to 5,000 by subscribing today if you haven’t already. This shows you care for veterans. Just click on the icon right after the title of this post and click on FEEDBLITZ , and the posts will come straight to your inbox.                            ____________________________________________________________

Doug Bolton, the founder of the blog, Signs of Hope, which is at www.dailysignsofhope.com, has written a new book, “Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.” It reaches out the many military and veterans who may be battling anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, rejections, and the many other usual suspects. There are 22 military connected suicides every day. That is almost one every hour. Doug wants to help stop those statistics.  

______________________________________________________________

This is a new social network just for veterans. I joined it and made instant friendships with veterans who want to talk about what I want to talk about. Please check it out. You will be glad you did. 

https://www.rallypoint.com/join/spc-douglas-bolton

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Here is the news I saw today:

+Harassing people is common everywhere, but you would not expect it from a teacher.  

(Strong language)

The Teacher Who Bullied A Student For Wearing A USMC Sweatshirt Has Been Fired

The high school history teacher from El Rancho High School in Pico Rivera, Calif. who famously called military service members the “lowest of our low” earlier this year and harrassing students who support the military, has finally been fired.

The El Rancho school board voted Tuesday to fire Gregory Salcido, 49, following numerous complaints about his behavior in the classroom on Jan. 19, when he was secretly filmed  harrassing a 17-year-old student for wearing a U.S. Marine Corps sweatshirt.

“They don’t have electricity,” said Salcido. “We have all our freakin’ night vision goggles and all that kind of stuff, and we can’t freakin’ control these dudes wearing robes and [inaudible]. Because we’ve got a bunch of dumbshits over there. Think about the people you know over there. Your stupid Uncle Louie or whatever, they’re dumbshit.”

Incredibly, this wasn’t the first time Salcido was cited for courting controversy (or being what I would call a total asshole). He allegedly threatened a student in 2010 and “smacked” a student in 2012, both of which got him placed on administrative leave.

During the January incident, Salcido railed against military members as not being “talented people,” while ordering the 17-year-old he was harassing to never again wear the Marines sweatshirt, which he was sporting to show pride in his family’s service.

“Don’t you ever bring the freakin’ military into this classroom,” Professor Douche Nozzle continued. “I don’t understand why we let the freakin’ military guys recruit you at school. We don’t let pimps come into school. ”

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Overseas Commissaries Caught Charging Military Families Triple For Groceries

U.S. military commissaries in Japan and South Korea have been charging military families triple the going rate on a number of produce items in their stores, according to a recent inspector general’s report.

The problem stemmed from a $55.1 million contract to provide fresh fruit and veggies for the Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) in the Pacific, which saved the Defense Department $38 million, but simultaneously screwed over families by charging them a 101% markup on green cabbage and an 82% markup on mushrooms, among other examples.

To add insult to injury, the overpriced produce wasn’t even all that good, when compared with what buyers could have gotten at local markets, according to customer surveys.

Oh, and did I mention that bok choy — a type of produce originally from China — was being sold in the commissary for 372% more than usual? 372 PERCENT.

I’m not sure if that bok choy was gold-plated or something, but making your customers pay $4.20 for something they could have found out in town for 63 cents seems like a bit of a dick move.

The IG investigation found that DeCA didn’t effectively oversee the contractor at various stages in the supply chain. And although the contract required that “high volume core items” — like apples, bananas, carrots and two dozen other goods — be priced 30% lower than local Japanese markets, they were only found to be about 14% cheaper.

The director of the Defense Commissary Agency agreed with all the report’s recommendations, which is great, but the report didn’t offer any timeline on when families will stop being hit with a big green weenie that’s normally reserved for only those wearing a uniform.

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I enjoy sharing these little tidbits of news. I will be continuing to do this as long as you like it. Let me know.   

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If you are a veteran, or currently in the military. We have you six here. We are veterans, and know your pain. Never let the dark side pull you under. Seek help if you need it. There is always help at:

1-800-273-8255

___________________________________

Remember:

You are never  alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

 

Tom Hanks is Making Another War Movie


Thanks to all of you who have been joining me here. We help bring change to lives. The response has been wonderful.  We just past 4,000 new subscribers. That was a huge increase in 2017. We only had 1,000 two years ago. The year 2017 helped us to make it to 4,000.

We have reached our goal.  We will now be giving a prize to the person who is our 4,500th person to subscribe. We just passed 4, 506.

WE HAVE A WINNER!! An email has been sent to our winner! New prizes for the 5,000th subscriber.

Help us make it to 5,000 by subscribing today if you haven’t already. This shows you care for veterans. Just click on the icon right after the title of this post and click on FEEDBLITZ , and the posts will come straight to your inbox.                            ____________________________________________________________

Doug Bolton, the founder of the blog, Signs of Hope, which is at www.dailysignsofhope.com, has written a new book, “Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.” It reaches out the many military and veterans who may be battling anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, rejections, and the many other usual suspects. There are 22 military connected suicides every day. That is almost one every hour. Doug wants to help stop those statistics.  

______________________________________________________________

This is a new social network just for veterans. I joined it and made instant friendships with veterans who want to talk about what I want to talk about. Please check it out. You will be glad you did. 

https://www.rallypoint.com/join/spc-douglas-bolton

____________________________________________________

Tom Hanks has been in many movies, but he has also been in military movies, that are outstanding. Tom Hanks discusses his new movie, No Better Place to Die. 

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Tom Hanks Is Teaming Up With Vet Filmmaker Dale Dye to Make A Veteran-Powered WWII Drama

Tom Hanks has signed on to both act in and executive-produce No Better Place To Die, an upcoming World War II drama about the airborne Normandy landings on D-Day, written and directed by Marine vet and seasoned technical adviser Dale Dye.

The news of Hanks’ addition is good for U.S. military veterans, and not just for World War II film buffs: Dye is looking to cast up 50 veterans as actors, including as many as 35 speaking roles, with department heads giving vets priority for support positions on set.

“When I say department heads, I’m talking about set design, costumes, props, armory, hair and makeup, and all the other support elements that will engineer making a movie,” Dye told Task & Purpose. “I’m going to tell all those department heads that veterans get priority, so folks who want to be technicians in the film industry.”

“I’m going to try to get them their shot on this film, also,” he added. ”I’m trying to help guys who really want to do this for a living.”

The movie, written and directed by Dye, follows a band of airborne soldiers scattered across Normandy during their drop ahead of the D-Day invasion on June 6, 1944. A mishmash of troops from different units, they folded into a single rifle company to seize and hold La Fière bridge, a crucial causeway which connected the French countryside with the Normandy beachheads, against German reinforcements headed for Omaha and Utah beach. Had that company not held, the beach landings might have been a catastrophic failure.

“What I discovered, writ large, was that this was an example of what happens in our military when all the big plans, laid by all the generals and colonels, become victims of the exigency of war, that is, when they go right in the crapper,” Dye told Task & Purpose. “It’s the sergeants and the young lieutenants, and the PFCs and the corporals, who cobble together, knowing what has to be done, and just go out there and do it against all odds.”

Dye wrote the script in 2011, but has struggled to find backers for the film, until now. In addition to signing Hanks to produce and act, Creative Artists Agency and Gersh, are arranging financing for the film.  (No Better Place To Die should not be confused with Hanks’ other WWII film venture, Greyhound, which is looking to cast vets as extras.)

“The Hollywood procedure for putting a film together, especially an expensive film — and we’re a $30 million picture, that’s a lot like herding cats or trying to get snakes to follow a straight path — it’s a very difficult extended process,” Dye said. “But we’re right in the middle of it and gaining a lot of traction.”

 

Though casting hasn’t started yet, Dye hopes to begin filming this summer, with the goal of a 2019 release date, to coincide with the 75th anniversary of D-Day. In total, Dye said he hopes to get 40 to 50 veterans in front of the camera of which, 28 and 35 will be speaking roles. “Once I’m certain that we have the money we need, and we have the main actors that we need …. then we can start the process of auditioning the real veterans for the rest of the roles,” Dye said.

A decorated Marine combat veteran and a three-time Purple Heart recipient, whose career included tours in Vietnam as an infantryman and a combat correspondent, Dye retired from the Marines 1984. And in the years that followed he’s leveraged that experience as a military technical adviser through his company Warriors Inc., bringing authenticity and emotional realism to the projects he’s worked on, which include Saving Private Ryan, Band of Brothers, and Platoonamong others.

In terms of realism, getting all the little details right — how to hold a weapon, wear a uniform, or knowing what ribbons go on what side of your service jacket — is important, sure, but it’s “ultimately superficial” Dye said.

While it differs by era, theater, or unit, there’s a way of carrying oneself, of talking, and behaving — an attitude among service members that’s timeless and universal. And that’s what makes the difference between a technically accurate war movie, and a realistic one — or, better yet, a relatable one.

“When I was first motivated to even start as a military adviser to movies and television, that’s part of what I was trying to do, to bring that understanding, that empathy, that intimate knowledge, to actors, who for the most part, especially these days, had absolutely no experience with it,” Dye told Task & Purpose. “I felt if I could do that, if I could make them walk a mile in our boots … their portrayals of who we are, what we are, how we act, how we relate to each other, how we think, how we feel, those things would come across.”

In addition to surrounding the film’s actors with scores of veterans, Dye said he plans to put stars through his standard training regimen: a three week boot camp in austere conditions meant to recreate the setting and environment the service members’ portrayed in the film had to endure

“We’ll do my standard evolution that I do for every film that I work on,” Dye said. “But I’m hoping that in addition to that, that we’ll have a process of osmosis that’s going on the whole time, where you get these real veterans next to the actors, and they can observe now, what they’ve been told, and what they’ve been forced to do in training.”

“They’ll see the reality of it, how these people think, how these people feel, how they talk and how they relate to one another,” he added. “I’m hoping for a big dose of osmosis in that regard.”

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I look forward to this movie because I think it will authentic, and it will help us understand what the soldiers went through.

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If you are a veterans and feel lost and battling PTSD, TBI, depression, anxiety, fear, hopelessness, or many other of the usual suspects, I feel your pain. I have been there. Just know that you are not alone. You are not worthless. You are important.

If you need immediate help call this help line:

 1-800-273-8255 

Don’t do another minute alone.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!